Autumn in Trussville

The wine glass shatters as it hits the table surface, spilling over in warm ribbons of dark red over the edge and now down my leg. All the commotion from our family dinner settled and all eyes were now glued in our direction.

“I am so sorry!” Mary exclaimed as she rushed over to me with a napkin, absorbent enough for me but not for the dining room rug.

I shift my attention toward the broken glass. “ I’ll get that.” Bryan said. He was already picking pieces barehanded as I looked up to him, his face stern with a sweetness that wrinkled lightly around his eyes and corners of his mouth.

With all eyes still looking over at me, I, very ungraciously, get out of my seat , almost stumbling over the growing wad of wine soaked paper towels.. Delightful.

I make my way through the kitchen past the living room and upstairs toward the bathroom. My leg bleeding lightly from a small cut on my upper thigh and blood stained from the ruby merlot. I lifted my gaze, facing myself in the mirror. Hair feel unruly past my shoulders and I had a few wine splatters on my cheek. Great. I knew I didn’t want to come over. Family is rarely my thing and holidays, well I could always muster some last minute excuse to not go. Work, covering for a friend, a flat tire story even worked for Christmas Day a few years back, can’t get it fixed if every shop in the north east is closed. This event, to my dismay, was unavoidable. I had to be here and no excuse would have sufficed in my absence. Bummer.

This was no regular nor yearly event, hell, I haven’t seen most of these people since I left for college. But today was different, my sister Olivia who we call Olive, has officially been missing for 3 years, the official legal wait time to pronounce missing people deceased. Olive, now in the eyes of the State of Connecticut is considered gone. Now I get the honor of saddening the room not by revealing that my sister is missing but in how she’s now dead.

Still standing in the mirror I wipe the wine splatters, the blood and wine soaked drips on my leg and fashion up my curly brown hair in a ponytail. I look tired, my skin feels dull as I stare heavy into each pore and hair on my face. The sound of knocking brought me back and Bryan was standing at the foot of the door.

“You okay squirt?” He asked head tilled and arms crossed, he hasn’t changed much since we were kids and he’s changed even less since we graduated college. He was muscular with big arms, a bit heavy in the stomach with dark hair, skin and eyes. He’s strong Greek features made him handsome and his softly curled hair made him dreamy. But Bryan’s alway been Bryan. He’s been keen on me since I arrived. Maybe since I’m Olive’s closest living relative. Mom and Dad slammed into a tree after sliding on an icy highway early in February of this year. Of all the calls and messages Bryan’s was the only one I ever took. I like to keep to myself, with good reason, anyone I’ve ever cared about eventually leaves, so best not to care too much.

“Please stop calling me that, it was fine when we were five, at twenty seven it’s wildly inappropriate. Just call me Tiff, please.”

“Alright, Tiffany, as you wish.”

“Just Tiff is fine, Bryan”

“Okay, Tiffany, how are you feeling, you holding up?”

I always loved how he never asked me if I’m okay, how could I be? With each passing day I lose more and more of myself and my family. Today feels so different. Olive was just missing yesterday. Like lost socks or a misplaced necklace. Bound to show up at any moment, as if nothing has happened. We’d catch up and continue life as usual. Not today. All that had just been a fantasy all these years. Saving the stories of my drunk college nights, cute boys, crazy exams, I was gonna tell her everything. I can’t anymore and it leaves a bitter sting in me.

“For now” I was curt, unreasonably so, and Bryan’s lip tightened, frowning slightly on the left side. “But, I could use some fresh air” I recovered. Bryan’s face lit up lightly so as to not scare me away. “Great, I’ll grab us coats, it’s started to get cold out again please change before heading down.” He turned on his heels and headed down stairs. Tears streamed down my face as the sudden loneliness swallowed me whole. No, not like this. I forcibly composed myself, wiped my face down again. I head into my old room where I stayed during my time back home. I rummaged through my suitcase and put on my thickest leggings, a cable knit wool stockings and my cream and white striped sweater. As I finished up in my luggage I saw the pack of pre rolls I brought with me from California. I smiled as I remembered how Bryan, Olive and I along with some friends from school would walk to the woods and spark up during high school. I never smoked, didn’t see the point back then, but it’s really the one thing that helps me ground and mellows me out, it even makes me feel closer to Olive. I grab the delicately foiled canister holding 3 perfect cones and tucked it along with a lighter in my stockings

I made my way down the stairs to find Bryan, in a thick black wool overcoat and hand woven scarf waiting for me with a light brown cashmere jacket with wooden buttons draped over his arm. A crowd of aunts and uncles formed at the corridor intensely watching us as we ready.

“Where are you guys going!?” A drunken aunt Mary exclaimed. “Out, we’re gonna enjoy the falling leaves since it's been a while since Tiff’s seen the creek. I don’t think there’s mountains in California” and with a small push on my lower back we were out the door. Huh, guess the names just to give me a hard time, I thought. We talked and made our way down the road. We pass the Johnson’s, the Markels, the Anderson’s and the Richards and a few empty houses. The town looks so different Mickey’s Drug is now a CVS and most of the center town was closed. The economic recession hit this area hard, when people weren’t able to make due on their rent they had no choice but to leave. Everyone who stayed worked in the city or remotely. “Place looks deserted” I add, “cause it is.” Bryan scoffed as if pointing out the obvious. “Things ain’t the same anymore, squirt. A lot of people were forced out by the banks. If you couldn’t pay you couldn’t stay. Lot of these areas are now empty.” We walked in silence the rest of the way. We walked right to the outskirts and hit the trail. The trees thad turned and sprinkled the ground in gorgeous yellow and orange leaves. “ You do know that California has mountains, right? Like famous ones?” “None I’ve heard of.” I laughed, he really hasn’t changed.

As we made our way up the trail we detoured off toward the left side of the trail and headed to our spot. A small area of forest, beautiful almost like a meadow hidden in the trees, with large flat rocks that covered any muddy areas near the creek, Perfect for star-gazing and forgetting your worries.

We find an area perfect for sitting down and do just that. I let out my hair, slightly damp from sweat. The gentle ripples of the creek and sweet crisp air, it’s nothing like Cali. It’s home.

“Wanna smoke?” I offered as I pulled out the glass container from my stockings? Bryan, who was positively impressed, nodded and waited as I pulled a joint up to light. “Green lighter… just like Olive used to carry.” “Yeah I remember” It was a reminder at first, but buying green lighters had become a habit at this point. Like somehow I’d hand it off to her. Like we’d never skipped a beat.

Time starts slipping away. The evening light rolls into sunset. He’s dreamy in the evening light. The golden light simmered on his tanned skinned, his dark troubled eyes melted to pools of sweet honey, puffy, his killer smile relaxed into his homegrown memories of our childhood. Summers relaxing by the creek swimming and fishing. We’d hike and bike these trails. The woods always got a bad rap around here they’re beautiful but definitely a little eerie. We keep remembering our fun times camping and sneaking off to smoke, back when olive was alive. “Hey you remember when Albert from 3rd fell off his bike onto the pointy rock? He died. He’s the first person to ever die around me. Now there’s so many it's hard to keep up.” It’s 27 I thought as I put out the last of the 3rd joint. “That’s the last of it” it softly hissed against the smooth cool rock. Bryan looked up at me, his sweet eyes now dark as the early night started to fog in. A small shiver runs up my arms. It’s an unusually cold night and I wish I wore something warmer than leggings.

“Yeah, remember the girl in 5th grade too. She and her dad died on the way to dropping her off at school. Slammed a tree, I really liked her. I think that’s when it first sank in that death was real…. Come on we should get back” he helped me up his thick arm muscle stretched his coat flatteringly.

We stood up, I started coughing and couldn’t stop. I didn’t bring anything to drink. And the dry mouth made it hard breath through the cough. Panicked, probably from how much we smoked, what was I thinking?? I had forgotten the three glasses of wine I had along with a measly 3 bites of dinner thanks to aunt Mary. I kept coughing, When Bryan offered me water from the creek. “It’s safe, we used to swim in, I would drink from it all the time growing up out here. I obliged, reluctantly, till the cool water soothes my throat. It’s sweet, clear, and tastes of wind and freshes. “Wow. That was really good.” I told him. “Glad you think so.” He took a large handful of water and drank from it. Satisfied we both toasted another palmsful and drank, a drink for the journey ahead.”

We started making our way back to the trail, the fog growing thicker and thicker in the silent woods. As we walked, my head started spacing, I heard faintly the whispers of people. Maybe there’s more people in the woods? It’s odd that rarely are people far from their homes past 6. I guess I never really thought about it but much of the town is tucked away by 7 pm. So different from life in California, we're up drinking and partying till at least 2am outside. Not here is Trussville. But it was a holiday so i trust i was another group partaking much like Bryan and myself indulged.

As we make our way back from the outskirts, it's almost night. Where did the time go? We’re not supposed to be out this late and it feels like we’ve walked much farther than it takes to get to town. The street lights flicker, wear on the town is starting to show. Abandon building casting shadows on the road. The town is nothing like I remember it.

Come lets go, said Bryan the tone in his voice changed and the voices grew much closer.

Maybe they could help us, I thought.

Then I heard the noises of crushing metal snap like a tree but no one was around.

Then again and again we quickened our step though we never made it past the first few blocks. Large black figures emerged from the woods swiftly gliding over the ground as if floating over the fog.

We ran together, as fast as we could I felt a hand cold like the water from the creek around my leg. I fell to the ground. Looking up to find Bryan gone. As if he vanished from thin air. I close my eyes and get up to find myself alone on the street. The thick fog lifts and I’m stranded on the street. Beside me Bryan’s keys wallet and black coat.

I scream in terror. Where is Bryan?! A few moments pass and the police car slowly hits the corner. I run out the street, Lights flashing, he stops. What seems to be the problem here ma’am. He’s voice seems routine, almost rehearsed. “My friend disappeared!” I cried out. “Well, you're Tiffany Sanders.” His voice was cool and collected. “Soon you’ll know why all this is happening. Tiffany.” “How do you know my name?” I demanded. “Soon, you’ll realize why these souls may not rest” he rolled his windows and drove away disappearing into the receding fog.

I close my eyes and hear a clink of glass, and then feel something wet run down my legs. I open my eyes and I’m back at home. The liquid is wine and over me is aunt Mary and all my aunts and uncles. She hands me napkins and I, thinking I‘ve come too from a terrible daydream, look up searching for Bryan. But he’s not there. “Just like when your sister Olive passed away! I’m so so sorry Tiff! I look around at the memorial flowers and handwritten cards. It was just like Olive’s day but besides are photos of Bryan, stunning in he’s graduation suit. He’s curls slicked back, flashing his smile. “Can’t believe it’s been three years since he went missing on that walk with you and we all know you haven’t been the same since.”