Annie’s Apparition

The full moon reflected brightly off the dark waters of the ocean, as the waves gently washed upon the shores on the empty beach. The sun wasn’t even up in the early dawn of morning with the brisk fall air. The ocean wave machine temporarily in the off position, not even surfers were interested in coming to the beach. Fishermen were already out to sea earning their profits for the day. Annie was aware of ocean-lovers’ schedules and it was the primary reason for her coming to the desolated beach. She did not want to be around anyone. She wanted to be alone. Alone with her thoughts. Her memories.

She had lost her child at birth years ago. During her gestation period, she couldn’t help to think about the future she would have with the new addition to her family. She had vowed to be the best mother she could. Every night she promised the womb ridden infant she would protect the child from any harm that came upon them. She had many future plans for the newborn and was excited to see these plan manifest through the years to come. After giving birth, all of her promises and plans became obsolete because the doctor noticed her baby suffered breathing complication. In the process of helping the child, the baby ceased crying and passed out. In spite of their best efforts, the doctors had failed to revive Annie’s baby; leaving the child to their deathbed. Annie was devastated by the loss. She fell deep into depression. Blaming herself for not being the protector she had promised when the child was in her womb. The loss of her child quickly affected her relationship with her boyfriend, the child’s father. He tried to be supportive of the loss, but Annie didn’t want to hear it. What could he do? He could never understand the pain Annie was feeling. Eventually they split up and Annie moved back in with her parents.

Her parents had a beach house near the ocean. As a child Annie often ran to the shores and played in the water to help overcome any adversity she was dealing with. The soothing gentle movement of the waves seemed to calm her soul during any of life’s calamity. Moving back in with her parents seemed like it would be the perfect solution considering her loss, but it didn’t seem to change much of Annie’s mental state. She still blamed herself for the loss of her child. Every year on her baby’s birthday, the haunting memories of the loss were stronger and sent her tailspinning back into depression. This year was no different.

She sat on the sandy shore staring at the ominous ocean, tears streaming down her face as she once again reminisced about the future that never was. The tranquility of the ocean was keeping Annie transfixed on her memory of her would-be 6 year old. Annie thought about what it would have been like to have her child with her, on the beach, overlooking the serenity of dawn. Every futuristic plan welled up in a tear drop and poured down her face as each wave gently washed on the shore.

“Help!”

Annie thought she could hear her infant’s cry as they battle the pain the child suffered before passing. She wanted to help her baby, but the doctors wouldn’t let her even hold the offspring.

“Help!”

Annie quickly realized the words were not from her memory, but someone out in the ocean.

“Help…Please!” The cry snapped Annie to reality and she scanned the ocean, looking for the source. She could see someone battling a few rogue waves offshore, about 25 meters away. Without hesitation, Annie sprang into action and immediately dove into the ocean. She pushed herself towards the drowning person.

“Help! Please!” The voice was closer, but still a few meters away from where Annie was. She knew she could make it before the next set of waves came. Keeping her strokes strong and steady, Annie eventually made it to the source of the cry. Treading water, she stopped and looked at the ocean’s victim. Fear rumbled in her stomach. The person was no longer there. Still keeping herself afloat, she continued to look around her, hoping to see a body.

“Where are you?” She shouted, hoping she wasn’t too late. Silence answered her back. Her stomach continued to turn over. She did it again. She lost another child. The anchor of remorse quickly tugged at her heart.

“Mommy! Help!” The voice returned. This time, it was 20 meters away from her, but still further offshore. Annie rationed the current must have pulled the child further away. She started swimming again. Being raised by the beach did have it’s advantages in allowing Annie the opportunity to become a powerful swimmer, but in spite of her own upbringing, she knew swimming further from shore was a treacherous idea. Needless to say, the thought of losing another child was more overwhelming than fear of swimming too far away from the beach.

“Please, Mommy!” Annie couldn’t let another child die on her watch as she kicked and paddled with tenacity.

9 meters away.

Annie was not willing to see this child pass like her beloved baby had in the past. She was determine to keep this child alive.

5 meters away.

She could see the child clearly. It was a young girl.

3 meters away.

Annie stopped swimming to give the girl stern instructions. “You need to stay calm so I can-”

The child was no longer there. Annie was alone in the ocean again. Annie’s mind raced back to where the girl was and where the child could be. She quickly dove underwater in an effort to find the girl. The dark waters were more of a hinderance in Annie’s desperate search for the endangered life. There was no way of seeing if the girl was underwater or not. Resurfacing, Annie took a deep breath and started to capitulate to another loss of a child, another young girl.

“Mommy!” The female voice returned. Annie turned towards it source. She could see the girl just 5 meters away, struggling to stay afloat.

“I’m here for you!” Annie responded. “Try to stay there. Fight the current so I can make it to you!”

Annie, keeping her eye on the girl, began propelling herself towards her. When Annie was close enough, she reached out for the girl and grabbed her to keep her from being washed further away from the current. Embracing the child in her arms and trending water, Annie consoled, “I got you. I got you!”

“Mommy?” The girl questioned.

Annie, had no time for to correct the girl, she just went along with the girl’s cries for mommy, “yes honey, I got you. You’re safe now.” Annie added, keeping herself and the child afloat.

“Mommy, I was so scared,” The child continued. “I thought you would never come for me.”

“I’m here now. I need to get you to safety, though. Quickly, climb on my back,” Annie instructed. The child did exactly as she was told. Annie could feel the arms of the child drape over her shoulders and gently around her neck. She knew she had over 40 meters to swim in order to return to the steadiness of the shore. Furthermore, she now had an additional 40 or so extra pounds to carry.

“We’re so far away,” the child worrisome whisper brought the direness of the situation.

Annie knew she had to keep this child’s confidence up, or they would both end up drowning, especially if the girl panicked. As Annie began dog paddling back to shore, she comforted the girl, “we will make it. I am not going to lose you.”

“But you did lose me.”

Annie stopped paddling. That was a mistake. The weight of the girl on her back quickly forced Annie and her rider to sink down under the surface of the water. Annie fought her way back up to the surface, gasping for air.

The girl, still on Annie’s back, whispered, “you let me die before, mommy. You didn’t save me when I needed you.”

“What?” Annie stuttered, maintaining a rhythmic pattern with her arms and legs to stay above the surface.

“You promised me. You promise you would always protect me.”

Annie continued to fight to stay afloat, but the words, “You promised me,” rang in her head over and over. It was true. She didn’t save her child when she needed Annie the most.

“I, I couldn’t,” she replied, briefly stunned by the revelation while heavily sinking back under the water. She eventually caught herself and scissor-kicked to break the surface again.

“You lied to me, mommy. You let me die,” the whispers from the young girl shot terror down through her ears and down Annie’s spine. She knew the girl was right. Every word.

“Now, we can be together, mommy.” The girl added. Annie realized what was happening. The girl was mad! “And now, it’s your turn to die.” The girl’s arms tightened around Annie’s neck. She was trying to kill Annie.

Thrashing to keep from drowning herself, Annie began swinging her body as best as she could to lose her pernicious passenger. It wasn’t enough to lose the girl. She was holding on too tight.

“I couldn’t breath, mommy. I had no air,” the girl whispered angrily, as she squeezed Annie’s throat, making her air tube impervious to oxygen. “Why, mommy, why? Why did you let me suffocate?”

“Stop calling me mommy! I’m not your mom!” Annie protested between breaths.

Time seemed to stand still at this precise essential moment. Annie could clearly her the words from the girl as if they were both standing on shore and not 20 meters away from it. The girl replied furiously, “you left me to die in the hospital. You took away my breath, now I will take yours and we will be together, forever!”

Water surrounded Annie and she felt herself sinking. No, she wasn’t sinking. She was being dragged, pulled down to the abyss of the ocean. The girl’s accurate wording of Annie filled Annie with weighted despair. Annie’s realized the truth behind her horror. The girl was the apparition of her lost daughter returning to seek revenge. Her daughter was determined to end Annie’s life, just as Annie had ended her daughter’s. She should have saved her daughter, but she didn’t. She didn’t argue with the doctors when they made their assessment of her daughter’s situation. She didn’t hold her child one last time when the doctors declared the baby’s death. Annie ran away instead, unwilling to believe the loss was real and wished it was her instead of her newborn, who went to face the grim reaper. With this anchor of realization, Annie knew what she had to do: rejoin her daughter in death.

In her last bit of strength, Annie turned herself around and wrapped her arms lovingly around the girl, her daughter. Though she could not speak, she tried her best to convey how much she loved the girl, how much she always had and forever will love her. She held her tightly as they sank down to their inevitable doom. The daughter continued to clutch Annie in return, accepting Annie, her mother. Mother and daughter had reunited in death, the way Annie had wanted.

Sounds of ocean waves continued to fill Annie’s ears. She could hear sea birds in the distance calling to the life around them. Annie could feel the sand under her. It didn’t seem possible, especially after she had tried to save her daughter from death earlier that morning. How could Annie be back on the beach? Perplexed, she slowly opened her eyes. She was greeted by the warmth of the sun, as it shimmered off the ocean. Dawn had broke and Annie was back on the beach. Annie should have been happy to be alive, but the feeling of repentance continue to suffocate her thoughts. She had lost her daughter again. She sat up to look around the beach. There was someone standing right next to her, their shadow overcasting Annie. It was her daughter.

Ann scramble to her knees and embracing her daughter for a loving hug without thinking. “You’re safe,” she whisper with a sigh of relief.

“No, mommy, you’re safe,” the girl answered back with a malevolent grin . The fragile body of the girl evanesced in Annie’s arm as the sun continue to rise gradually in the horizon. Annie was alone again. She keeled over in tears at the loss of her daughter for a second time. Still drenched from the swim, Annie was more defeated now than ever. She knew the awful truth behind her terrifying attempt to save a life. Like so many women, she would always be haunted by the child that never was. There would never be an escape from the nightmare, for as long as she can remember.