Alesha

I was married once. For three years. Quite literally the longest three years of my life.

I met my wife Alesha in the most basic of ways that we have for meeting new people these days; at a bar. A few friends and I were out to celebrate my best friend Jordan’s accomplishment in passing the bar exam. Most of them got piss drunk, but I sort of babysat my drink all night. I’m not really sure why, I was just as thrilled and proud of him as anyone else. I just felt a bit….off. Some time getting close to last call, I noticed the most beautiful woman I have ever seen was looking at me. ME. I’m not un-handsome I suppose, but I’ve never been one to get strange women’s attention. Generally I have to be the one to initiate contact, and I always, ALWAYS screw it up somehow, without fail. Something in my brain tells me, “pretty girl! Tell her about the grossest possible thing about you. Right now. No? Ok, spill her drink on her and then accidentally touch her breasts trying to get the drink out of her shirt. She’ll DEFINITELY assume you’re trying to cop a feel. But it’s ok, DO IT.”

My brain and I aren’t always on the best terms. He convinces me of a lot of things that I’m pretty sure don’t need to even exist. As I’m sitting there looking at this woman from the corner of my eye so as not to stare, my brain does it’s thing, trying to convince me to choose my cheesiest pick up line and go talk to her. Like most times, I didn’t listen, because I know very well my brain is just trying to sabotage me for whatever reason. I continued to sit at the bar sipping my drink while my friends started getting belligerent in the background on the dance floor behind me. One attempted to grab my arm to get me to come dance, but he was already so drunk that he fell over in trying to pull me off my stool. He got up, brushed it off, and went back to the dance floor.

When I turned back around from dealing with drunken “BRO GET OUT HERE” bullshit, there she was. Sitting in the stool right next to me with a mischievous and coy look on her face. I was actually a little in shock. This never happens, and dear shit was she beautiful. I turned to look at her, all the moisture in my mouth rapidly vanishing. I took another drink, thinking I might say something and I did not want the first words she heard from my mouth to sound like a dying toad.

Thankfully, she spoke first. Perhaps she could tell I was nervous and intimidated by her. In fact, it rather seemed that she enjoyed it….quite a lot.

“Whatcha drinking there, Steelers?” My hand involuntarily reaching up to my Steelers snapback, suddenly extremely self-conscious about my choice in sports team. Or choice in hat? I’m not really sure.

I managed to choke out a weak little “Ninkasi” feeling like I should be drinking scotch or bourbon, something a little more “manly.” Stupid societal expectations.

“Care for another?” She asked, her eyes drinking me in in a way I had never seen a woman look at me before. I responded in the affirmative, also wondering if it shouldn’t be me to be the one buying her a drink. My head was spinning at a alarming speed for an object that’s sitting still. When my second beer came, I downed it so fast it would seem as though it was the first drink of water I’d had after being Cast Away’d. She just sat there, looking at me. She had a warmth in her smile, and a twinkle in her eye that I couldn’t quite discern the meaning of. She ordered herself another drink as well, and drank it in much the same manner that I did.

“I’m Alesha,” she said once she’d tipped the last of the vodka from her glass.

“..Mike..” I replied sheepishly. It felt like there were rocks in my throat and my mouth was the Sahara, no matter how much I drank. Even after I asked the bartender for a water, there was no getting rid of this dry mouth.

“Nice to meet you, Mike. Come here often? I don’t think I’ve seen you in here before.”

I thought to myself, “Of course you haven’t seen me in here, I’m a recluse with few friends who all think I’m the worst kind of Debbie Downer and I’m only here tonight because Joey’s been my best friend since elementary school and I’d be a dick if I didn’t at least make an appearance, but I hate every second of this.” Instead, I told her I just didn’t go out much.

She gave me a once over as though she were sizing me up. Not in a sexual way, or somehow indicating she wanted to fight (I don’t know why the hell that would even occur, what the fuck) and then very abruptly grabbed my hand and said, “we’re going to my place. Let’s go.” I didn’t really know what was happening, but along I went. There’s no way I was going to turn down this beautiful woman actually paying attention to me. It didn’t really seem like she was interested, but paying attention. That night, I engaged in things I don’t ever do, the entire time feeling that I was in some sort of daze. I both remember it with impeccable vividness, and yet don’t remember it at all.

What I do know, is that 5 months later we were getting married at the courthouse and I had 5 months of time that I had no idea what happened. Or how the hell I was getting married. To HER of all people. My boys were jealous for sure, but how can you be jealous of a situation where one party does’t even remember how they got there?

Apparently at some point, we agreed that I would move into her place. She did have a house after all, and I was living in an apartment with roommates. I was thrilled for that on it’s own! The move was relatively easy; I didn’t really have much in the way of belongings, so we didn’t even have to rearrange things in her place once I got all my stuff there. Just settled in like it had been my place the whole time. As soon as we got all my stuff moved in, the entire 4 boxes, we were off on our honeymoon. As cliche as can be, we went to Hawaii and were the most touristy tourists we could possibly be. Partly genuine, part goofing off just to enjoy ourselves being silly. We were there for two weeks, and it was the most beautiful place I’ve been and probably will ever go. The locals were friendly, but clearly not stoked about our “hilarious” tourist jokes. The food of course was amazing, and all the activities available at the little place we stayed were experiences of a lifetime. Diving is fucking awesome. I mean, it wasn’t deep sea diving or anything, but being surrounded by all these brilliantly colorful fish, and such clear water. It felt like an out of body experience.

Little did I know how frequently I would be feeling that way over the next three years, though not even remotely as euphoric.

About a week after we got home from our vacation, I learned something about my wife that really would have impacted by decision to marry her had I known beforehand. Like, take cover and run, no way in hell. Alesha had also insisted on doing some ritual she would only tell me would keep us protected and required a vial of my blood. I don’t believe in all that shit, but agreed to make her happy. Knowing what I know now, that was the worst mistake of my life.

I had just gotten home from work, and went to put my things away in their proper places. I don’t know if she just didn’t hear me come in, or if she had intended on me finding out anyways and didn’t care. What I walked in on my wife doing, I don’t even know how to explain it. I turned the corner into the kitchen, and there was my beautiful Alesha, top of her head snapped back and jaw unhinged as wide as it could possibly go, our neighbors dog halfway down her throat. I froze. What in the fuck was I seeing?? When she saw me standing there, she didn’t panic, or stop, or make any gesture that she was aware whatever she was doing was freaking me the fuck out. But then again, it didn’t even really look like her. She’d had to turn around to even be able to see me from the position of her head. Seeing someone you love’s face cracked open to the point it looks that it’s been folded in half backwards, and her eyes had gone completely bloodshot, just red all over. Blood was dripping down her chin and had started to pool on the kitchen floor long before I even got home. It was starting to run towards the hallway…so thick and black….why was the blood so black?

I was finally jolted from my frozen state of panic when the dog began to kick and make absolutely dreadful whimpering noises. Even then, the only thing I could muster was to start screaming half intelligible sentences asking what in the fuck was she doing to our neighbors dog and what the fuck was going on and what the fucking fuck.

She just kept swallowing this dog….whole. I don’t understand it. The poor thing wasn’t a small dog; some sort of shepherd collie mix. And here I was, watching my fucking wife, SWALLOW A DOG. I vomited all over the floor and ran out of the house crying and screaming, with no idea where I was going or what I was going to do. It seems that this was enough to snap her out of her own trance, as she bit the remainder of the pup still not digested off where the bottom half of it’s body made a sickening thud on the floor. Her jaw still wide, wide open, and I could see rows of teeth lining the insides of her cheeks like a tunnel of razor sharp spikes. How in the fuck did I miss THAT this entire time? WHAT THE FUCK. She grabbed that back of her head and snapped it back into place as I was hauling ass out the front door. Alesha was in incredible shape — always played sports in school and kept a regular gym routine — but whatever got her to the door before me was nothing to do with any damn gym routine.

Her eyes were still a glowing bloodshot red, not your average look, but fiery, as though the blood from the dog were filling her up all the way to her eyeballs. She slammed in front of the door and blocked my path. I continued screaming nonsense at her, entirely unsure what to do. Not a single teacher in any level of education prepared me for this shit.

“Babe, Mike, calm down. Calm down and I’ll explain everything.” She tried to sound soothing, but she had a harshness in her voice that matched with the blood in her eyes only contributed to my compounding horror. “Everything is fine, It’s ok, babe. Don’t you worry about a thing. I’ll get you all fixed up and explain everything.”

“YOU JUST HAD HALF OF JIMMY’S DOG IN YOUR FACE!! AND YOUR FACE!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU?”

To this she winced and I saw a flash of fury cross her face. “What are you,” had been the kicker. She apparently always hated that question, not like that was something I would have known. I wanted to run. I needed to get out of this fucking house. How long had she been doing shit like this? Did I seriously just move into some creature’s fucking murder lair?

I made a move for the door. Her hand shot out and grabbed my wrist with inhuman speed. Clearly, she couldn’t possibly be human. The moment she caught my wrist I felt that sudden shock like being slapped when you don’t expect it, yet somehow her touch seemed to be calming me. I could feel that haze creeping over me that had enveloped the entirety of our relationship until I found myself in that courthouse. Alesha pulled me over to the couch, which I noticed for the first time was a deep maroon color, and asked myself if it was so she could hide the blood easier.

She started talking, very slowly at first. Something about being part of some long bloodline of hybrid somethings or whatever. My ears had started ringing by her 5th sentence, and everything around me felt like a cloud of complacency. Whatever she was saying, somehow I was completely fine with it, and had even gotten over having seen her swallow a dog whole. Almost. I just sat there like a doped up kid after they get their wisdom teeth pulled, just without the pain. It did feel like my mouth was full of cotton though.

“…Mike..? Mike!” Alesha was snapping her fingers in front of my face trying to get me out of the daze. She was doing it though, didn’t she know how to make it stop? When I finally came to, the face I was staring at was still covered in blood, bursting with blood in fact. I jumped back as far away from her as I could get, but my muscles didn’t seem to be working. I sat in horror staring at this woman that I had married. The most beautiful woman in the world that had come and talked to me in a bar when no one ever did, who said she loved me and wanted to spend forever with me. I remembered one thing I caught in the midst of the haze in her speech — she is forever. I will die, and she will continue living, feasting on whatever creatures caught her fancy. Dogs, cats, cows, pigs, humans, whatever struck a chord with her in the moment.

Seeing that I wasn’t calming down, in spite of my inability to move, she began to lean toward me very cautiously. Like she was trying not to spook me.

Too fuckin late, Leesh.

Alesha grabbed my hand and began that soothing tone again, this time a little of the harshness had worn off and she almost sounded like her normal self again. Whatever her normal self was. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in our bed the next morning with her sleeping peacefully next to me. She looked like an angel. It had to have been a dream. One, really vivid, intense dream. Yeah. I shook off the shivers of creepy crawlies I felt on my skin, and made my way to the kitchen to make us some coffee and breakfast. Nothing seemed out of order. There was no blood, anywhere, and no half of Jimmy’s dog on our kitchen floor. I let out a sigh of relief and turned on the stovetop. I would make her breakfast in bed today. Last night didn’t really happen, so I was just going to go about my day as normal. I felt a little guilty for having such a cruel dream about her, so I figured breakfast in bed would assuage my own guilt that she need know nothing about.

Suddenly I heard screaming from next door. From Jimmy’s house. I ran outside to see what was going on, to find Jimmy’s wife standing over the back half of their dog left in the middle of their driveway. Tunnel vision came flooding and my ears started ringing so loudly I thought my ear drums were going to burst. I couldn’t breathe, my guts were churning, getting ready to vomit and sweat poured out of my pores so profusely my clothes were soaked in a matter of seconds.

I ran back inside the house and into our bedroom. Alesha lay there, staring up at the ceiling, the most serene smile on her face. I choked trying to find any words, but before I was able to even catch my breath, she turned her head just slightly to see me huddled in the doorway.

“I love to hear their screams,” and smiled back up at the ceiling.

I spent the next three years of my life living in terror of the woman I had once thought to love. Every time I would grow just a little bit of courage, that haze would creep back over me, and months of time would just go missing. She stopped even trying to hide it from me anymore. I would get home, or walk into a room, and there she would be, swallowing animals whole, and still alive. The ragged breath from her lips was foul, a taste of the rot inside her. Her eyes remained bursting with blood now that she was no longer hiding her eating habits from me.

At some point, Alesha decided to take a visit to see her family. There was not a single chance I was going to go with her, which was just as well for her as her family wasn’t accepting of her marrying outside their kind. I still don’t even know what that is no matter how often she told me. And I won’t ever ask. She was gone for just over a week. During that time, the haze began to lift, and I felt a little bit of me again, mixed in with buckets of terror. I had to figure out a plan to get out of this. I had learned over the last couple of years, that whatever ritual she had done with our blood was how she was keeping me in that haze. She had complete control over everything that is touched by blood in my body. So, all of me. With her gone, it seemed the farther away she got the weaker this bond became. If there was ever a time to do something, it was now.

I got everything ready as quickly as possible. I knew that once she got back, I would be loopier than laughing gas at the dentist, so I had to make sure that it was going to work. I had no idea how to take her out. I knew very little about these creatures in the world, since I didn’t believe they existed until I married one. Still, from what I’d seen in movies, a good ol’ fashioned beheading was bound to do the trick for almost any beast. When she got home, I’d be waiting by the door, machete in hand. She wouldn’t even know what hit her.

Well, of course she did. She could feel what I was doing, every little step I was taking in the ripples of my blood coursing through her veins. When she opened the door, she grabbed me by the throat and held me up against the wall. Kicking and clutching at her hands, I managed to get a solid kick to the face with just enough force for her to loosen her grip. She dropped me, falling backwards in the process and holding her now wide open jaw in place. I had kicked her right in her creepy hinged mouth, and looked like I maybe broke it. Her head swung open like saloon doors, and stuck open. I could see panic in her eyes as she wildly tried to force her head to swivel back into a normal position and keep an eye on what I was doing. I was careful not to move too quickly. She was so preoccupied with rearranging her skull that she wasn’t using her full effort to keep me foggy. As long as I didn’t set off any alarms in her brain, I could creep around without her stopping me.

I dropped to the floor and crawled towards where the machete had flown when she threw me into the chokehold. Careful not to make any sound, I grabbed it tight with both hands and stood up behind her. The top half of her head was still dangling backwards, and I could see her eyes searching me with a little bit of fear. Mostly panic from her broken jaw, but I could see the fear creeping higher and higher. I wasn’t sure, but I felt it safe to assume that I only have one shot at this, or she was likely to turn into some version of herself that I wouldn’t even want to see in my nightmares and rip me to shreds. I gave her a look of pity, and spoke in a soothing voice. I knew it wasn’t going to have the same effect, but it was more for the irony’s sake. 3 years of her keeping me in a haze while she murdered humans and animals alike, leaving me completely unable to do a got damn fucking thing about it. Always lulling me back to peace whenever I’d start to freak out while she was eating one of her kills in front of me. No. No more.

“It’s ok, babe. Don’t you worry about a thing. I’ll get you all fixed up and explain everything.”

Her eyes widened almost as much as her jaw as she saw the machete lift from behind my back. She tried to scream, but the contortion of her head and throat only allowed for a rough hacking sound. With everything I had in me, I raised that machete over my head and brought it down with all the force of vengeance. I missed hitting exactly on the neck, getting just above where her jaw no longer willed shut. The unhinged part of her head crunched as it hit the floor, crumbling into little pieces. Her body stayed standing for a moment, and I thought for sure I was going to have to battle my headless wife. Not a moment too soon, her body smacked the ground and began emitting a thick black smoke, wisps of what looked like a clay imitation of flesh floating along with embers from no fire.

I watched my wife dissolve in front of my eyes. Her unhinged head occasionally making attempts to chomp, though being severed from the bottom half made the motions useless and pitiful. Eventually, all of her dissipated into a cloud of the strangest ash and pools of blood somehow spattering from all directions. I stood in it, knowing most of it was really mine, and I had it back now. I knew this thing was dead. My beautiful, hinge-jawed, human eating, dog swallowing Alesha dissolved into thin air, no more killing and eating, no more haze. She was gone.