Ajar

Shifting shadows in the hallway. The lights flickering, to some unknown logic, casting odd shapes along the cement floor. One second there, the other, vanished. I breathe silently, and watch my steps, not to make any unecessary sounds. Why? Well, this place is quiet, forgotten.

And I shouldn't be here.

Thinking these words I take a look behind me, goosebumps all over. The mind, so adept at creating threats when there are none. I can't help but picture some tall, vaguely humanoid creature, made of metal and flesh, staring at me in the distance.

I curse myself for imagining such things, for the line between ideas and reality is often thinner than one thinks.

Walking the line, between the unseen, the unknown, what we don't even know we don't know. What lurks there, where we shouldn't be. But I know where I am going, to my room yes, for I have the key right here, 151. In my pocket. I take it out, coming closer to one of these flickering lights on the ceiling. As it shuts off I drop the key-

Loud, so loud, echoeing through the hallway, I wince and hold my mouth with my right hand, not daring to breathe. I imagine in the distance, far behind, a door slamming violently, louder even than the key. My mind trying to fool me again?

I pick the key up and hurry along, the sound of the door seeming more real by the second.

147.

My steps hurry up, and I hear my own foosteps creeping up behind me, louder and louder. A part of me feel ridiculous, scaring myself with my own echoes.

148.

I don't dare look behind, for I fear I will imagine once again this silly silouhette I saw earlier. I am not a fearful person but I can't wait to get to my room and lock my door.

149.

150.

There, to the right, that should be my door. Passing another light I slow down, exhale and close my eyes. I turn around, slowly, and as I do the light flickers.

My breathing echoes once again, curiously, and a rustling in the dark over there?

The light turns back on, revealing this tall, hunched over creature, looking the other way. I panic and hold my mouth once again, perhaps if I don't do any sound it won't notice me.

I stare in horror, as its fleshy bits fall down to the cement ground, almost quietly. I take a step toward 151, so close.

And another step.

As the light flickers once again the creature shrieks - I RUN for my life, and the distant light barely lights up the doorframe, as I try to open it;

150.

What?

That can't be right.

The key can't even fit in, and with that fucking monster coming for me I risk it all and try to push it open, once and twice, to no avail.

The light turns back on and off, its ticking infernal, revealing now the creature much further away, but this time facing me.

Its face! Ah, these uneven eyes, and this gaping mouth, as if in constant surprise, and its hands, twitching and scratching its fleshy bits, and holding its gaze I lost footing, taking a knee, as if enthralled by that monster,

and once again I drop the key. Breaking its gaze, the creature screechs in anger and races toward me, the light flickering on and off much faster than usual.

I pick the key up, running toward 151, seeing the face, its eyes, its gaping mouth, even in the dark, even when closing my eyes-

The doorframe, and I don't even look at the number. I push the key in and twist, and push the door that opens too easily, cold air and a feeble light flooding the hallway.

I push the door shut, and lock it. My whole body against the door, to a sudden dead silence, I dare not move, I dare not breathe, for that thing out there is real, damn it.

And after a minute, ten minutes, or an hour perhaps I let myself relax, and move away from the door, listening attentively to any noise coming from outside.

To my horror, I realize that the door cannot be fully closed; the metal latch that is supposed to be there is missing, and so the door is holding simply from my own weight, and God do I regret ever coming here.

That means the door won't even stay close, let alone be locked. I recall the creature of the hallway and its eyes, its gaping mouth and I curse myself. I have to think of something else.

I can't let it see me, see my mind.

My room isn't as it usually is, there is one grey bed, no windows, and a single candle, that flickers up and down, as if gasping for air. Maybe if I move the bed to block the door? Yet as I move away from the door it opens slightly. The door,

ajar,

and maybe my mind tricks me again, or maybe it really is there, but I see that fucking face there, in the barely opened door, and I rush over and push it shut, push it shut as the creature tries to open it, I hear its sniffing, I hear its arms trying to garner the strength to open it, and never before have I ever felt such dread, not only at the creature on the other side, but at having to hold the door shut no matter what.

I hold it shut, the creature surprisingly struggling to push against me. Its sniffing is driving me mad, and I wonder if I could just fight it, push it away, but to go where?

To 151?

How long have I been holding the door shut, listening to any noise? How long, until fatigue overwhelms me. How long, until I imagine that face once again, and snap back to being wide awake, shutting the ajar door closed, adrenaline barely keeping me up, and I thought maybe if I lay on the ground, and use my feet to hold the door shut, I could maybe sleep for a few minutes...

Locking my feet at an angle against the door, I lay down on the ground, cold and hard yet confortable enough. I lay down yet I am ready to get back up, and push back on the door if needed.

I cross my arms, close my eyes, and through my closed eyes I can see the light of the candle, flickering up and down, and I synchronize my breathing to it, and remind myself not to imagine that face again, its uneven eyes, its gaping mouth, its surprised look, and I succeed, falling alseep precariously.

151.

Awoken by the squeaking of the door opening, I quickly get up and shut it close, my heart racing, so afraid I overslept.

Tweaking, I feel the tears rush up to my eyes, panic swelling within me, what am I to do now?

I turn around and push my back to the door, looking down. I sit, holding the door closed with my back. Eyes closed, I try to come up with a plan. Open the door, take a look, and if nothing is there, rush down the hallway. Just keep running, no matter what.

For there is no hope here, in this little room, which isn't even 151. Eyes still closed I muster my courage, my energy, getting ready to get up and make a run for it.

Though my mind plays one final trick, and shows me once again that god awful face, its uneven eyes, its gaping mouth, and I open my eyes in frustration,

yet its face remains, right there in front of me, all along,

and the creature moans and gets closer until its face inches toward mine and I scream, harmonizing with its moans, as it consumes me, and I scream some more,

for I see myself in its dark eyes, there, dizzy and paralyzed,

and seeing myself in these eyes, I catch myself waking up. I see myself in the room, from the ajar door, of the room 151,

I see myself and I breathe out. Clearly I was freaking out for nothing.

This overwhelming sense of relief soothing me, and my conscience fogs,

for all this was in my mind, my mind that loves to scare itself with its wild imagination, unknowing the unknown, shadow of shadows,

and I step out in the hallway, my body curiously itchy, and looking around I can't help but feel a deep sense of surprise.

There I am, lurking in the dark of the hallway, surprised beyond belief, at the distant sound of the key, falling to the ground. That's right;

My key!

I slam the ajar door shut.

I'll get the key, get to 151, and finally fall asleep, no matter what.