A Reversal of Success

The mirror showed a reflection that wasn't my own. This reflection revealed a woman in her mid-thirties with long, wavy brunette hair, crows feet around the eyes, laugh lines around her mouth, a complexion that was free of blemishes despite not having make-up on, and her eyes were honey brown. This reflection was youthful and mature all at once. It looked like me but wasn’t me. What would you do if you were witnessing something like this? In a fit of rage and confused panic I threw my martini glass into the mirror shattering them both. This fit did not end there. I needed to smash every mirror in my massive four bedroom condominium. By the time I finished busting the mirrors in hallways, bathrooms, and spare bedrooms, I was breathing like a prey animal being chased by a predator. Without any energy left, I collapsed onto my kitchen floor.

It wasn’t until mid-morning that I was discovered by my cleaning staff, Tina and Sandra. They were both talking frantically to one another in their foreign language. I opened one eye and attempted to lift myself off the floor.

“Miss Clara? Miss Clara, are you ok? Don’t exert yourself too much, we called for help!” My head was pounding which made me disoriented. The last thing I saw before passing out once more was my reflection in the oven door, accompanied by the unknown reflection that tormented me the night before.

I finally woke up in the hospital, my hands were cuffed to the bed’s railings. “HELLO! IS ANYONE OUT THERE?” There was no response. Only the rhythmic beeping of the machine showing my cardiac rhythm. I took a look around this hospital room. A single window with the shades drawn made it seem later in the day than it felt. It was a dark little room with a couch under the window sill. A curtain was pulled in front of the door, making it difficult for me to see people come in. It looked clean and well maintained which meant I was still in Manhattan. I tried pulling at my restraints but to no avail. I called out once more, “IS THERE ANYONE THAT CAN HELP ME?” This time I heard the door open. The curtain pulled back to reveal what I presumed to be the doctor and three male nurses.

“We were wondering when you were going to wake up.” Began the man in the long white doctor’s coat. He carried a clipboard with a smiley face sticker on the back of it. He came over to me and began to shine a light into my eyes.

“What happened?” I snapped, as I pulled away from the light.

“Before we get into that I need you to answer a few questions for me.” I was beginning to get irritated. “What is your first and last name and date of birth?”

“Clara Tulane May 16th 1990. Are you going to answer any of my questions, doctor?” The man in the doctor’s coat looked up at me with bright blue eyes and a pronounced brow. He looked much older than what I had initially thought. He had stubble around his jaw, along with many pock-mark like scars. The top of his head was covered in wiry gray hair, he kept slicked back and out of his face as much as possible.

“I’m Doctor Dennis West, I was given your file and have been taking care of you these last couple of days.”

“The last couple of days?” I was flabbergasted! “Tell me why I am here right now!” Fear was starting to set in as I tried to pull at the restraints. Two of the male nurses came around me and began to hold me down, causing me to flail more.

“Listen if you don’t calm down I will be forced to use a sedative.” I have no other choice. I relaxed my arms, and ceased to flail. The male nurses eased up and stepped away from me. “Alright, good. As I was saying I am Doctor Dennis West and you have been in my care these last couple of days. You were brought in because of a fainting spell induced by alcohol poisoning while having delusions and violent outbursts. Is any of this sounding familiar?” Dr. West raised a bushy eyebrow at me.

“No.” I answered, totally stunned at the information that was just given to me. He must have seen the confusion on my face because he continued.

“Can you tell me what you remember from that night?” I tried hard to rack my brain.

“I had gotten home late from a work function. I had been drinking, but it couldn’t have been enough to cause alcohol poisoning.” I looked up at him, still so confused. He nodded.

“What did you do when you got home?”

“I made myself another drink, took a couple of sleeping pills. Before you ask, yes I do have a prescription for them and I only take two at a time. I am not an addict. I have too much going for me to throw it all away.” Dr. West began to write on his clipboard. “Can you tell me why you were found on your kitchen floor?” I paused for a moment trying to get my thoughts in a structured sequence.

“That is just where I ended up I suppose.” Dr. West nodded once more as he was scribbling furiously onto his clipboard.

“Do you have a history of mental illness or psychosis?”

“No.”

“Does anyone in your family have a history of mental illness or psychosis?”

“No.” All of a sudden there was a commotion outside of my door. There were many screaming voices. Then the door swung open to reveal my assistant Penelope.

“Excuse me you are not allowed to be here right now.” One of the three male nurses that wasn’t at my bedside was trying to forcibly throw Penelope out of my room.

“No, she is allowed to be here. Don’t touch her!” Dr. West nodded at the male nurse indicating to him that Penelope was allowed to stay.

“I don’t have any more questions for you at this time, Miss Tulane. I will be back later to check in with you, and see where we are on discharging you.” With that Dr. West and his male nurses left the room. As soon as they were gone, Penelope began excitedly speaking.

“What happened to you?” She was frantic. The look in her green eyes was of total and complete fear. I expected no one else to be by myself but her.

“I don’t even know what day it is. The doctor said that I have been out for a couple of days?”

“Yes! It’s Tuesday sis!” When I made my way to the top of the publication industry, Penelope was the only one I could trust not to stab me in the back. Now, equipped with the knowledge that I have slept through the weekend, it was time to get back to work.

“I need to get out of here. I need to get back to work before Wendell tries to steal my company.” I struggled to get up. I felt so weak. Penelope hovered over me trying to push me down into the bed. I forgot about my shackles.

“Absolutely not Clara! You need to tell me what happened. I have been so worried about you. You owe me some kind of explanation.” Since I couldn’t go anywhere, anyway, I decided to explain my night at home.

“After our launch party on Friday, I went home. ALONE. I had another drink, and took my sleeping aids. Don’t look at me like that for god sakes.” The look on her face changed rapidly from suspicion, to concern, and then to fear.

“I’m sorry Clara, please continue.” I decided since I was at this point in my recollection to tell her everything that happened.

“Penny, I just want to preface this by saying that I am not crazy and work has been stressful. I could be pushing myself too hard, or maybe I’m not drinking enough water.”

“What are you trying to tell me?” The anticipation was killing her.

“Penny.” There was a heavy pause. I could not believe I was going to tell her this. “Penny. I saw the lady in the mirror again. You know, the one that looks like me, but it's not me.” Penelope gasped.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes of course I’m sure!” I snapped at her. “I’m sorry. I really need to get unshackled.” Penelope immediately got up and hollered for some kind of assistance. After a few moments, one of the original male nurses came in accompanied by Dr. West.

“Miss Tulane, I understand you would like to be unshackled?”

“And discharged immediately.”

“Unfortunately, we will need to keep you under supervision for at least twenty-four more hours, now that you’re awake.” Said Dr. West.

“This is absolutely absurd! Can’t I be released to my sister?” I looked at Penelope.

“Now, Miss Tulane, if you start getting hostile, we won’t undo the restraints.” This had me seething. I sunk back down into the hospital bed and waited impatiently for the male nurse to release me.

“Dr. West, would it be possible if Clara was released to me?” Penelope asked.

“Unfortunately, that is not possible. You may stay with her, but her vitals need to be monitored for the next twenty-four hours at least.” After listening to Dr. West speak, it finally dawned on me.

“You’re looking to see if I have any withdrawal symptoms aren’t you? You think I’m some kind of addict having a psychotic episode because there was a little bit of alcohol in my system. I already explained to you that I am not! I am the CEO of Wright Publications, the youngest and first female to ever hold that position! I AM NOT AN ADDICT!”

“Sisi please calm down, they’re going to put the restraints back on.” Penelope pleaded. Dr. West smirked and released a half chuckle before he and his male nurse left my room.

“This is absolutely ridiculous! You believe me don’t you Penny?” I searched my little sister’s face for any kind of confirmation.

“Of course, I believe you Clara. Don’t worry, I will stay with you all day.” Penelope is always my biggest supporter. She kissed my forehead and began to walk to the door.

“Wait where are you going?” I called out to her.

“I am going to go get us some coffee, a pastry, and the newspaper. We are going to have a slow morning like how we used to. I won’t be long I promise.” I nodded and with that she left. The mention of coffee and pastry made my stomach leap. I laid there rubbing my newly freed wrists. I wish someone would have opened my curtain to the window so I could at least see where in the city I was in. I continued to look around the room. My gaze finally landed on the blank television screen. I could see myself in the reflection. My short black hair had been uncombed for days. My face seemed a bit more gaunt than usual. Probably because I hadn’t been eating. I ran my fingers through my greasy hair. I looked away from the television. Soon Penelope came back with everything she had set out to get.

“Here you go sis, creamer with a little bit of coffee and a chocolate croissant.” She handed it to me and the coffee cup was so warm against my delicate hands. Penelope had gotten herself a coffee and cream cheese danish. “Oh and here is the paper. I took out the fashion and classifieds, but left the stocks and comics.” She knows me so well. I took the paper from her.

“Thank you Penny.” I laughed. I took a look at the date. I gasped.

“What? What’s wrong? Did you burn yourself on the coffee?” She was frantic.

“Is this the correct date?” I was shaking.

“Yes, why?” As soon as Penelope caught my panicked gaze she understood immediately.

“Is that why you’ve been drinking so much Clara?” Her tone was hushed.

“ I didn’t realize it had been ten years already.” I dropped the newspaper on the floor.

“Sisi, it has been ten years since Michael died. You have to let him go.” Penelope grabbed my hand and gave me a gentle squeeze.

“I often think about how life would have been if he never died. None of this would be a thing that's for sure.” I took a sip of my coffee with my heart aching in my chest.

“You don’t think he would have supported you in your career?” Penelope asked.

“He would have yes. But I would have wanted to spend every second with him anyway. He was all that I ever wanted. All that I ever needed.” Tears were beginning to run down my face.

“Sisi, you have to let him go. For your sake and his.” I looked at her and smiled, but deep down my heart was collapsing in on itself.

“I finished my coffee. Could you get me another one please?” Penelope nodded and went off to get another coffee. I needed to go to the bathroom. In the corner of this hospital room was a small bathroom. After eating I felt strong enough to lift myself up and stagger to the door. My legs were weak from not being used, but after a bit I was able to maneuver them to be useful.

I finished my business, and as I was washing my hands I threw some water on my face. There were paper towels that were very rough against my face. Next I made eye contact with my reflection. However, behind me was that long haired woman. Frantic, I tried to escape the bathroom as quickly as possible. The door was locked. I couldn’t summon the strength to rip it open. I looked back at the mirror, and it seemed like the long haired woman was looking at me with a mixture of pity and jealousy. I was fixed on her honey brown eyes. Then she spoke, but what I realized was the words were coming out of my own mouth.

“I want what you have.” She was speaking to me. The long haired version of me put her hand up against the mirror. She was wearing a wedding ring. I looked behind her reflection and I saw yet another reflection. This one however I recognized and have dreamed of.

“Michael?” He was in the mirror standing behind the long haired woman. His thick black hair, and perfectly round eyes were just as I remembered. Again she spoke.

“I want what you have.” She still had her hand on her side of the mirror. I couldn’t help it. I was in a trance. I placed my hand on her hand. As soon as I did this a smile grew on her face. That was the last thing I remembered before blacking out.

When I came to, I was in a soft bed and sunlight was pouring in through the window. I sat up. Nothing looked familiar. I could hear noises coming from a distance. I moved slowly. I was wearing pajama pants and a long sleeve sleep shirt. Slowly I moved out of this bedroom and followed the noise downstairs. This house was enormous! The noises were consistent. Down the stairs I went and entered the kitchen area. There standing next to the stove was Michael.

“Hey my sleepy girl. You woke up earlier than I was expecting. Are you ok, you look like you’re going to faint. Here, sit.” He put his hands on the small of my back and directed me to a stool at the kitchen island. I could feel him, his warmth and his presence.

“Michael? I had the most horrific dream.” He sat next to me. Shirtless and in perfect shape like he always was, even in highschool. The only difference was he was tanner than I remembered.

“What happened baby? You want some water?” Michael got up immediately and fetched me a glass of cold water.

“I dreamt you died, and I ended up moving to New York and became super successful. I cut my hair really short and dyed it black.” He gave me a glass of water.

“All of that sounds terrible. I’m glad I’m not dead and that we don’t live in New York.” He chuckled. I missed his laugh. Then he kissed me. I missed his kisses.

“I am very happy it was just a dream too.” It was too much to handle.

“Hey, have you uploaded the pictures from the Maldives yet? My mom wants to see them.”

“No, not yet.”

“That’s ok, maybe that can be something we do later on today.” With that Michael went back to the stove. I got up and began to explore the house. I finally made it to the entrance where there was a mirror. I had my long wavy brown hair, crows feet and laugh lines from being too happy. As I was admiring my own reflection I saw behind me, another reflection with short black hair silently screaming.