A Man Walks Into A Bar
#2 from "The Shadow Dies Loudly: 27 Tales"
“A Man Walks Into a Bar…”
Paul smiled as the sexy brunette eyed him from across the bar. Those eyes. Those legs. Jesus Christ there was no way she was actually into him, right?
She was alone, and would coyly glance at him, then look away once he would notice. This little game continued for a bit until Paul gathered the strength to go introduce himself. He stumbled a bit when he got off the stool. “Shit I hope she didn’t see that.” Paul thought to himself. He wobbled as he walked around the bar to go meet his possible companion for the night.
Thoughts raced through his mind:
“I always get this drunk anyway and I haven’t had a problem yet.”
“I’m sure I can drive home.”
“I’m sure my dick will work”.
“Hel oooh” said Paul to his new friend.
“Hi there.” She said with a wink.
“Was yer nam?”
“Thas a nice nam. I seeeeee you” said Paul as he slyly raised his finger to her face. Clearly, he was nailing this.
“I think you had enough to drink there, honey.”
“Nononono em good.”
“Just checking…I want you to be able to feel everything later tonight”. Claudia looked right into Paul’s soul. She gave the impression that she often took what she wanted without any hardship. But there was some pain behind her eyes, just a touch of it. Masked behind this primal hunger, an unspeakable urge for something. An urge for…him?
“We should get out of here, shouldn’t we?” she asked.
Paul couldn’t be any more smooth, any more lucky than he was tonight. This sexy little MILF was going to get her world rocked.
The duo walked out of the bar into the parking lot.
“Of course” laughed Claudia. Her laugh was a bit unsettling.
“But you didn’t drive her, sweetie. Remember? You took a taxi.”
“Haha hay your ight. How did you…?”
“Because when you killed that little girl while drunk driving, your lawyer daddy got you a deal. You lost your license and spent a few months in prison. He settled the case with the parents, gave them all the money in the world. But there really isn’t a price you can put on a child’s life, is there?
Paul looked confused. How could she know that? He didn’t have time to think about it long before he felt a pain in the back of his head and everything went black.
Paul woke up. His head was killing him. This wasn’t like any hangover he ever had before.
Claudia walked over to him with a man. They were both wearing surgical scrubs and rubber gloves.
“Hello, honey. How are you feeling?”
Paul started to piss himself.
“Oh are we scared?” said the man. “Our daughter was scared when she was fighting for her life in the hospital. She didn’t know if she was going to make it out. You know she didn’t, don’t you? You fucking know what you did.”
The man started to shake with rage. He punched Paul several times in the face before Claudia stopped him.
“We need him conscious, Derek.”
Paul started crying. He opened his mouth to plead and beg and apologize, but Claudia stuffed his own underwear into his mouth. Paul gagged and puked a little bit. But he didn’t choke on it. God would not allow that easy of a fate.
Derek prepared the IV of donor blood ready. He explained to Paul that he was not going to die of blood loss, his daughter didn’t have that luxury. Her name was Tyra and she felt so much pain toward the end of her short life, and so would he.
Derek and Claudia stood at opposite sides of Paul. They started by breaking his feet. Claudia used a hammer. Derek had more rage in him, so he did it with his bare hands. Then the clipped off each toe with garden sheers.
Paul screamed through his gag. He fainted once they hyper-extended both of his legs.
Paul awoke again. He thought that was just a bad dream at first, but after looking around the basement where he lay and tasting the skid marks on his underwear, he knew this was far from over.
The vengeful parents went to his arms, breaking each finger at each joint, then his wrists, then his elbows. Then they cut off his ears. Claudia waved Paul’s own severed ear in front of his face, laughing manically. Derek took a heated spoon and dug out Paul’s eyes.
Claudia removed the underwear from Paul’s mouth.
He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t move anything.
Derek picked up the garden sheers. “It’s Father’s Day today. Did you know that? Too bad youll never be one. Paul couldn’t see any of this, but he felt Derek grab his scrotum and penis.
Paul screamed. Claudia held his mouth open as Derek clipped his tongue and tore each tooth out.
“Okay buddy. Let’s not ruin the family party. We gotta get going.”
The Blanchard family gathered in the living room. Paul wasn’t normally late. “Probably drunk again” was the main hypothesis going around. Suddenly the doorbell rang. The family gathered in silence as they watched Paul squirming on the front porch. Naked, blind, disabled and disfigured.
“Happy Father’s Day. Love, Tyra” was carved into his chest.