A Cthulu-ish Christmas

We drove up the snowy winding road towards the cozy A-frame cabin. The car had been on fire for the past half hour but none of us seemed to notice. Our bright smiles were only slightly clouded by the chemical smoke rolling from the engine compartment. All of our 863 teeth were shining and freshly sharpened as we sang Christmas carols and laughed about the wonderful times we were all going to have together on this, our first-ever Christmas vacation.

Demons do not normally get to have Christmas off. This trip was a special treat as a reward for over a decade of hard work tormenting souls and just generally making everything gloriously wretched. It may come as a surprise but even demons like a break now and then. And though we don't like to admit it we enjoy recognition. It warms the acid chambers of our hearts.

As we approached the cabin, our tentacles waiving out the windows, it became clear the car was not going to last much longer. The fire had spread. Our singing was so loud that trees were falling as we drove by.

By the time the adorable little cabin came into view the car had lost all its doors and was no longer actually running. Not that demons need to rely on automobiles or internal combustion engines we just really enjoy them. Our pre-existence temporal twisting slime traces lead the way around the last corner and up the drive. As the flaming car slid to a stop we burst out obliterating the remnants of the car and some of the driveway. We all agreed that we had better cool it down a little if we wanted to make the evening last.

With the woods beginning to ooze into the void left behind from the erasure of the car, we thrust ourselves up onto the steps of the cabin.

This little cabin just outside Eben Junction was absolutely perfect. Inside, as promised, all the essential Christmas goodies had been laid out and ready for us. There were ingredients for cookies, mistletoe, a tree and ornaments, presents ready to wrap, and a fridge full of food. Human food. Sadly there were no actual humans though. Best yet was the smells. There was pine from the tree, cedar from the paneling, cinnamon from some holiday decorations, but best of all was the damp mildew smells, and the rotting rodents that formed the base of the sent of the place. That familiar smell of neglect. Wonderful!

Without much more delay we lunged into our task. No one wanted to miss any of the experience so we all worked on all of it at the same time. There were tentacles making the dough, hanging ornaments, baking the roast beast, wrapping presents, cutting out cookie shapes, frosting, hanging tinsel, and making quite the mess really.

It only took a few hours and the tree was done, glimmering and twinkling with glass bulbs and tiny lights. The presents under the tree with bows and ribbons were piled high. The table was set, heaped with every treat. Roast beast, candied yams, bean casserole, pies, and a pudding ready to be flamed.

When everything was set and ready, even the foundation of the cabin was thrumming with anticipation. Mariah Carey was playing and we croaked and groaned along.

Standing before the scene in all its glory we smiled. The air was electric. The thrumming of the foundation had grown to a rocking and just before anything fell time slowed.

I reached out with one sticky moist tentacle. Still covered with tinsel and frosting and touched the star that crowned the tree. Pure ecstasy. Rocking and thrumming and glowing. The cabin seemed to take breaths as it undulated with the withering of time and space as I exulted in my first delicate bite of the golden glowing star atop the tree.

The floorboards ripped and split as we took bite after bite of the tree. Windows blew out. The table hovered as the pudding spontaneously ignited. Rocking and lurching, the cabin began to stretch into the void left behind where the car had been. The tree began to glow. Not from the string of lights but the splitting of atoms and imploding fury of collapsing reality.

As we consumed our feast the earth outside failed and spun into the space around us. To anyone beyond the cabin, there would seem to be nothing but growing darkness. The exponentially accelerating blooming of a black hole. But inside all was festive and bright. The joy of demons on vacation celebrating the holiday with family and friends and the total annihilation of earth.

Poof!