A Baker's Dozen

Sally Macbeth loved to bake. She also loved her white, medium-length furred cat, Misty, who was always by her side. Misty would even sit and watch Sally bake. Sally loved all things food, especially cake. However, there was one recipe she could never nail- chocolate cake.

Sally had tried about twelve vastly different recipes, and they all ended in chaos. One cake was dry, another burnt on the cusp, some weren’t chocolatey enough, and others simply took hours to bake, and still had a toothpick come out covered in liquid in the end. So, Sally was getting quite frustrated, as anyone would. She had mostly tried online recipes, along with a few family ones. None of these recipes worked. Therefore, Sally sought out a new recipe.

She took the bus to her favourite bookstore, The Bookmen. The Bookmen was a small, new and used bookstore in her large city. Well known to the locals, but not to tourists. The walls were all shelves, each stuffed to the point of exploding, and the floors, well, just be careful not to knock over a pile of books. There, she was hoping to find a new recipe. She dug deep through the baking aisle, skimming over many famous chefs, and many famous books, none of which spiked her fancy. Eventually, with a heavy heart, she left that shelf of books, and started skimming the rest of the genres for the heck of it.

History of Canada, History of the world, Ancient History, and Classics were all great categories, in which none of them she was in the mood. As she rounded the corner, she saw “Spiritual” on the sign. She glanced at it, like she did the rest, only this time, something did spike her fancy. A book entitled “Death by Chocolate”. A misplaced book she thought. So, she grabbed it and was going to put it where she thought it belonged. As she walked over two aisles, she flicked through the pages. This caused a piece of paper to fall out of the book, going unnoticed by Sally. The recipes were far too captivating, and she walked right out of the store without paying.

She went to the store to pick up more cocoa and returned home, ready to begin her cake.

“Attempt thirteen.” she thought with a hopeful sigh.

Sally boiled water and prepped all the ingredients. The baker grabbed a couple of bowls, a spatula, and a whisk. She combined the dry ingredients: cocoa, cake flour, a pinch of cinnamon, salt, and baking soda. As this was happening, the kettle on the stove began to steam, and eventually scream, like a teapot does. Once it was ready, she poured the boiling water into the wet measuring cup, just until the “one cup” line. Sally grabbed the steaming hot glass and screeched, just before she dropped it, and grabbed her wrist. The cup shattered on the floor, spilling water everywhere, and almost hitting Misty. This caused the cat to leap and bound for another room. The water began to seep into Sally’s socks and made her jolt back. With a slightly toasted hand and glass everywhere, she began to pick up the pieces with her good hand, and threw them out, and proceeded to weigh out a cup of the boiled water.

Sally continued with the recipe, and finally divided the batter amongst two eight-inch cake pans, coated with butter and cocoa. She baked them at the proper temperature and waited. While she waited, Sally went to check on Misty. The cat seemed well enough, and so, Sally decided to look at other recipes in her new book. The recipes all seemed to be scientifically perfect recipes, good number of dry to liquid ratios, the right amount of fat, a solid measurement of leavening agents, all sound things. However, Sally thought it a bit odd that the book was clearly old, (age-coloured pages and such), but there was no flour on the book. No batter fingerprints, no drips or drops of liquid either, something that is always found in used cookbooks. But maybe it wasn’t a used cookbook at all, maybe it had been sitting on that shelf since it was bought by the store owner. Sally was puzzled but figured that was the best response to her question. She dropped the thought when her timer sounded.

The baker went to the kitchen and the smell was divine. She let the cake cool, for her toothpick came out clean, and the bounce test was springy. Sally began making her family’s classic chocolate icing. It wasn’t anything fancy, not quite a buttercream either, but it was delectable.

By the time the icing was done, the cakes were finished cooling. So, Sally pulled out an offset spatula, and began to tort, fill, and ice the two cakes, bringing them together as one. She let the dessert sit for only a moment before she cut herself a slice and took a bite with a fork.

The cake was heavenly. The most incredible cake she had ever tasted. It was too good to be true. Did she find it? The perfect cake recipe? She did! She finished that slice and then had another, and another… it was so good she couldn’t help herself. Even when she got full, she continued to eat. Once she finished the entire eight-inch cake, she moved on to the left-over spaghetti she brought home from dinner yesterday. And then she began to eat some cheddar- the whole block of cheddar. Sally couldn’t stop eating. She finally ended with raw chicken, and when seeing what she had done, she screamed. Her stomach had expanded three times the size it had been when she started, and eventually, she passed out. Sally’s stomach never went back to normal, even after all the vomiting from salmonella.

Sally died a week later. However, had she not flipped through the book so quickly, maybe that piece of paper wouldn’t have fallen out, and she would have seen the inscription on it. A note entailing a ritual that was supposed to be done with the cake. You see, Sally was never supposed to eat the cake herself. The point of the entire book was to give the cake to someone who had wronged the baker, so that the victim would begin to eat, and eat, and eat, until they burst, quite literally. The book was in the correct section of the store, nestled in right next to other curses. Something Sally missed during her peering.

Sally’s aunt went to pick up Misty the day Sally was self-admitted to the hospital. Her younger cousin, Hannah, was with her aunt during the retrieval. Hannah saw the book sitting on the table, and she grabbed it, tucking it into her bag. Hannah loved to bake…