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3 Ways to Transmute Your Mental Illness into Positive Writing: Horror with a Twist

Turn your nightmare into a dream.

By Cory DeAn CowleyPublished 3 years ago 8 min read
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A cosplay from Ju-On: The Curse.

When authors began the process of writing, the conquest to write those crucial first pages can be daunting. As I previously covered in my tips blog, I'll be shedding light on a very taboo subject--and for good reason. We all know or are someone who suffers from a mental illness. I think it's safe to say that it's one of the most debilitating things that can affect millions of Americans across the country. The mystery shrouding the way it works, along with the common misconceptions, prejudice, and neglect only accumulate into a ball of shit that rolls downhill. It's no wonder that so many people in the world hide their affliction out of fear of judgment; there are too many individuals that are treated unfairly by those who haven't taken the time to empathize and understand the importance of what a mental illness entails.

I am a long-term suffer, myself. I suffer from ADD/GAD/OCD, with OCD being the biggest thorn in my side. I live with it every day, with some days being better than others, but nonetheless, it's always there.

Before I started writing, I could not harvest my energy and transmute my torment into something proactive. It's a cliche and quite honestly sometimes an insult to hear others tell you, "you need to find a hobby." Well, I think we have all been on that shit-end of the stick and experienced just exactly how belittling that truly is. If it were that easy, then drinking ginger and taking supplements should cure cancer overnight, by that logic. As we all know, the shit isn't that easy, and frankly, we all become tired of hearing the same solutions over and over again.

In this blog, I'm going to explain to you that you are perfectly beautiful, in all your neuroses, forms, and emotions. I will not remotely pretend that this will be a cure-all to anxiety attacks or depressive episodes, but I'm hoping that this will give you some hope that your mental illness doesn't have to win; and in the process, you'll conjure up some of the most diabolical literature this side of Hell.

Create Badass, Relatable Characters

Every writer wants a badass in their story no matter if they are the antagonist or protagonist (sometimes both.) One of the best ways you can incorporate your neurosis/psychosis into your horror novel is by channeling your own emotions through their eyes. As I mentioned in the previous blog, utilizing your own life experiences is one of the best ways into creating an awesome story; not only does it feel real, but adds an extra layer of detail that will keep readers hooked. This same principle applies to your mental health. My primary protagonist in Bending Reality (which was myself) suffered from the same neuroses I did in the book. I wanted to use my experience of what I suffered with and tell a story through my eyes. One of the things I enjoyed most about writing the center character was the fact that she was broken, but she was still a badass who kept going no matter what.

If it's one thing I know about people who suffer mentally, it's that we are some of the toughest motherfuckers to emerge out of the ash. Writing a character with some realistic issues, mixed with a good amount of stoicism will definitely keep people intrigued; it allows the reader to sympathize more with their personality and allows them to gain a general understanding of what it is they are experiencing in the story. When you apply your own experience with a character--you're giving the reader an opportunity to get a clearer picture of what YOU see.

Don't be afraid to write in everything you've gone through, and don't fall into the trap of thinking you'll be judged. Remember: fiction allows anyone to write whatever they want. If you want to write about an anxiety attack that plagued you at one point in your life, write about it, but add that extra layer, by giving the central character the strength to overcome it. It will make you feel good knowing that you have some control, and anyone who suffers from OCD knows that we always like control.

Channel Your Aggression

We get angry; we get really fucking angry. If it's not dealing with the unpredictability of emotions, crying, guilt, and physical ails, it's the fucking rage. This is something not many folks like to touch on when it comes to this issue. Rage/aggression is one of the many common symptoms of anyone struggling with mental health. We have a tendency to associate our rage with more sinister players in our minds, but when it all boils down to it, we just hurt; and we hurt...a lot.

Now, before anyone gets into a tizzy and starts calling the PC police, listen. When you first start writing your horror novel, you're going to have to think about writing some horrible things. This was another theme I touched on previously, and the same applies in this case. When I wrote 'Bending,' I found that writing kill/torture scenes were therapeutic. You're probably thinking, "what a sick bitch," but in reality, it's one of the best ways you can channel all that aggression into words and experiencing emotional release. Anyone suffering is always looking for a way to escape the pain. I can't tell you how many teenagers and young adolescents self-harm due to not having a way to release emotion. Writing an intense torture scene can have the same effect as hitting a punching bag, without the risk of injury.

Something that really pisses me off with a lot of people is their way of manipulating people into thinking they're "sick" or "need help." Look, nobody is perfect; everyone carries skeletons in their closet has at one point in time done something they regret; with that being said, writing an intense torture sequence doesn't automatically make you the next BTK killer. When you spend the majority of your day feeling guilty about the thoughts in your head, sometimes the only thing you want to do is hit something or hurt yourself. Personally, if I could detach people from those feelings of self-harm, I'd be so happy.

Don't be afraid to write some grotesque stuff. We can't help our thoughts, and I perfectly understand what you are probably going through at this very moment. Sometimes when we write those horrible things down onto paper, it helps us to understand that they're just words. The mind has the ability to create some terrible things, and when it comes down to it, it can hold power over us. There is no known cure for mental illness, and the only solutions we have are things like cognitive therapy, medication, and meditation. When I say the word transmute, I mean turn your negative thoughts and feelings into something creative. In my experiences as a writer, I have found that writing down how I feel can make me feel a hell of a lot better about life.

Use Your Own Darkness as Therapy

You heard me; find your ultimate light in the deepest, darkest depths of Mordor--so-to-speak, of course. Let's face it, when we write down how we feel, no matter how tragic or exciting it is--we feel better. An emotional purge is one of the best things for mental health, and I can wholeheartedly confirm that jotting down in a diary or writing personal letters are great ways to curb negative spiraling. What's even better is writing a novel that could allow you to not only gain release but get your creative juices flowing. I think it's important to remember everyone--good, bad, in-between has two sides. Every human on this planet has dark and light, and I believe that when we are at our lowest, we can find our most precious light. It takes a lot of strength to pick yourself up crawl out of Hell, but I promise you, if you take that darkness inside you and make it into art...friends, you'll come out a hell of a lot tougher and more in control of your emotions.

It took me a long time to come to terms with the darker parts of my personality. I tried for a very long time to censor who I was and pretend that my mind was not capable of such horrible things. We all know that is the farthest from the truth, and I very much enjoy relishing in all things putrid, grotesque, and despicable. I came to love the dark side of myself, because with my light--that is who I am. The process of writing forces you to sit down and have a one-on-one session with who you are. One of the most difficult challenges we face as human beings, is the act of loving yourself in your entirety.

Writing horror has been one of the best ways for me to feel at home with the darkness that resides inside me. Sufferers of mental illness often face the challenge of not being given a chance to be loved for who they ARE; and who they are--are wonderful, passionate, creative individuals.

If you've read this far, just remember that you ARE loved. I love each and every one of you all who are suffering at this moment. It takes a lot of bravery and courage to show the world who you are, and never think for one moment that you are not deserved of great things. Our mental illness is a part of us, but it does not define us. Go out and write the best goddamn story of your life, without any reservations about what people think. Sometimes, what people think, is less than nothing, and I am one who is here to tell you that you are capable of producing some of the best art of your life. Never give up, never quit, and always look to the horizon.

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About the Creator

Cory DeAn Cowley

Founder/Owner of C.D.C. Works

Making disgusting, horrific, raw art and books is what I do.

www.linktr.ee/foliumdiscognitum2

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Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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  1. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

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    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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  • Lizveth Del Valleabout a year ago

    Long-ass comment incoming. I stumbled across this article by accident several months ago through random googling and I'd like for you to know that this single-handedly gave me enough confidence to attempt my first horror novel. I am now almost 30,000 words into it and hope to finish it at some point next year. Thank you so much. I also have the ADD/GAD/OCD triple whammy and I also grew up with a huge guilt complex surrounding everything about myself. You understand that the journey to self-acceptance and self-love is a very long and difficult one made many times harder through mental illness. To me there has been nothing more therapeutic than making art. No compromises, no self-conscious "softening", just pure expression. You express this very well. Your confidence in yourself and compassion for others shine through, here. My novel is completely unmarketable, and I can proudly say that I don't care. It's a mash of psychological/supernatural/erotic horror and writing it has been deeply fulfilling and a fucking blast. Your writing has helped me find this joy, thank-you again. :)

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