3 Iconic Horror Movies That Haven't Aged Well

I might be a bit of a modernist, but I'll always give credit where it's due. In the case of so many of history's most famous movies, sometimes a story can truly endure through the generations (The Shining, Alien, the best episodes of The Twilight Zone).

In other cases, though, we allow the lens of nostalgia to romanticize films that don't entirely deserve it. When considering so many of the most classic names in the horror genre especially, many of the greats simply don't hold up to modern standards.

1. Psycho

Psycho is the obligatory entry in every cinephile's list of greatest horror movies ever made. I think they're kidding themselves just a bit. By no means is it a terrible story. It's tense. It subverts expectation. I'll even admit that it was genre-defining. But is it scary?

No. And isn't being scared what horror movies are all about? Special effects aren't everything, but films like Psycho are enough to make you yearn for even the cheapest of gore effects that would emerge in the following decades.  

You can say it was great for its time, but I wouldn't recommend putting this on in front of a modern audience unless it's a comedy night. The film's most climactic moments are enough to elicit laughter by today's standards. 

Not to mention that shocking twist at the end (I'll spare you the spoiler in case six decades is still too soon) where Alfred Hitchcock assumes the audience is stupid and explains the whole thing! It's a woefully anti-climactic conclusion for a film that's still lauded as one of the all-time greats. 

2. The Exorcist

As a child, each time I asked my dad the scariest movie he'd ever seen, there was one recurrent answer: "The Exorcist." He said the words with such dramatic weight that I was sure beyond all doubt that it would be the material of nightmares.

But by the time I'd reached eleven and my father deemed me old enough to lose sleep to disturbing movies, I'd seen at least 20 films more terrifying. By the end of The Exorcist's first hour, I was desperate for it to end. 

"Dad, is it actually going to get scary?"

"Uhh… maybe this hasn't aged quite as well as I thought it did," he admitted as the dense, scare-free dialogue droned hopelessly onward. 

For years, I decided I didn't ever need to revisit the film. But for years, that title continued recurring inexplicably on nearly every list of greatest horrors ever made. 

It was only yesterday that I decided I could finally give the film another chance. I needed to know what made this movie so worthy of the entire decades of praise it's received. But even as an adult, I admit that the search has been fruitless. I can't for the life of me figure out what people find so utterly terrifying about this one. Is it the gratuitous cartoon vomit scenes that make the movie scary? Is it the comically lecherous sex demon trapped in this docile girl's body? 

Am I wrong for laughing out loud when the spirit possessing her yelled "Stick your cock up her ass, you motherfucking worthless cocksucker!"?

This demon is a more vulgar comedian than George Carlin, for Christ's sake.

Sex-crazed demon child from The Exorcist / Warner Bros. Pictures

Is it the not-so-subtle religious messaging that makes this movie great? Because if you ask me, one creepy head rotation and a few "The power of Christ compels you" chants aren't nearly enough to redeem this dragging, mediocre movie.

3. Scream

Scream I can make a bit of an exception for, because at least it knows that it's not a good horror movie. It's ironic and self-aware and completely forgivable… as an entry in the Scary Movie franchise. As a horror movie that routinely makes lists of peoples' greatest horrors ever made? I'll never be able to see that. 

If watching a man in a cloak and mask tripping and stumbling over every obstacle in his path like he's a Home Alone criminal is enough to strike fear in your heart, you might just scare easily. 

It's a movie that seems more like a satire of itself than it does an attempt to chill an audience. It's too self-mocking to instill any real sense of fear or consequence. The moments that seem as though they're supposed to muster something in the vague direction of unease fall comically flat. For all its "inventiveness," Scream to me just feels like a film with an identity problem. 

Horror, like all genres, evolves with time. It's shaped by the fears and cultural shifts inherent to each era. While the cinematic milestones of yesteryear have undoubtedly paved the way for modern terrors, they may not always strike the same chords of dread with contemporary viewers. And that's okay. As audiences mature and cinematic techniques advance, what was once the pinnacle of fear may now look plainly comedic. These classics can still be considered essential viewing, but to pretend they hold a candle to the forsaken closet doors that more modern films have opened so often just feels dishonest.