#140

One genre of horror that has often been more entertaining than scary is that of the slasher variety.

They all follow the same principle of providing strong moral lessons to junior assholes. We are meant to sympathise not with victim's but with the hideous blood drenched killer.

I, like many and I'm hoping someone backs me up on this, fantasise of being our favourite slasher killer.

And before you judge, I ask you to hold fire and hold your breath. And hold.

Often stalking my victims on GTA online, with my own narrative and back story. But moving on cause I'm getting the feeling that I'm being judged.

Our beloved horror figures are yes evil monsters, but often they do have some pretty valid points.

Jason's anti-sex rampage so a massive reduction in teenage pregnancy numbers for Camp Crystal Lake. Or Freddy's strict no over sleeping policy that saw an all-time peak in productivity and caffeine consumption.

But the once beloved heroes have now fallen from our favour. The last 40 years has been a complex but satisyingly hurtful slap for horror fans.

We're Freddy once had us fearful to sleep, the legacy and horror has been so worn out that the closest he'll get to keep people up all night is working at a Starbucks.

Or he and Deadpool performing some sick devil's triangle with a disturbed fan, no relation.

The thing is that the modern slasher films just don't have the commitment they used to the story.

It's become tired overworked hooker whose only scary when you realise their contribution to the herpes virus.

In that the shit is just spreading.

Slasher movies were great in their origin because never before had such juvenile humour and violence were rarely used hand in hand.

The first that came like Pre-Inception Freddy Krueger film, or Friday the 13th, were truly shocking.

I grew up fascinated with horror, not entirely sure why. A.k.a I'm content not addressing those skeletons just yet. And as a kid in the 90's alot of these films terrified me as I'd catch glimpse.

And though I can now predict the out come of almost any horror within the first ten minutes. I do still occasionally get scared, but never when it comes to a good ol' slasher.

Main reason I think is the tenuous evolution of character clichés that have become vapid stereotypes.

We have the thug, the arrogant bro who will ultimately be humiliated, the princess, sex hungry hot chick who has tits oh and dies, the fool, a character whom is often more aware of the situation than you think, the sceptic, they usually don't last long.

And then the virgin, the innocence of the group, as well as often the main focuspoint of the movie.

If this sounds familiar then well done in seeing a cabin in the woods flick, moving on.

But this stereotype annoyingly is true, and as the film industry has lost touch by allowing corporate a seat in the cool club, we now have a formula that has been hacked away like a rentboy at slasher orgy.

Any originality the movies had, have now become so over used and reworked into reboots and sequels that the sad fact is they don't really scare us any more.

And whilst the stereotypes are often warrant a bootleg root canal performed by leather face, there's only so many times I can find it amusing before it starts becoming problematic.

Honestly I can the future of horror with some anti avengers team made up of horror icons.

Omg I'm genius someone write that shit down.

#slashingteensforfun

I've often had an idea of a reboot for the Saw films, from the perspective of Colin a health & safety inspector.

Also if you're still holding your breath well do e you're an idiot.

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