Why 'The Princess Bride' Is the Greatest Movie Ever Made

Yes, The Princess Bride. A cult classic. But more than just a great film.

• Reason #1: It tells the greatest love story ever told.
• Reason #2: Every single genre is in this movie, and it tells the greatest love story.

Now, hear me out on this.

Let's start at the beginning. We open on a song being played digitally. We all know it, and some of us find ourselves singing it (in our heads, of course. It would be crazy to sing out loud during a movie, right? 😉)

"Take Me Out to the Ball Game..."

And we fade into a video game being played, an animated video game.

Bit of dialogue, Grandpa comes in, and he begins reading the story. This is, for all intents and purposes, a form of documentary for the story.

Again, hear me out on this.

We have our romance blossom for a minute, before we cut back to "Is this a kissing book?"

Don't you remember? He just told you it's got it all. "Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles!"

The story continues. She is forced to marry a man she does not love, but the man she wanted is dead, so far as she knows.

She gets kidnapped for a plot to incite war between two kingdoms. She jumps ship, and a fantasy element is placed: shrieking eels.

Slight bit of a horror element, too, but not really. More fantasy.

Grandpa tells him that she lives. The cutting back and forth between them engaging in the story, and the story being played out as documentary, as well as historical in that it was a tradition to read this story generation after generation.

Back to the story. We get to the cliffs of insanity. The Man in Black climbs after them, and he and Inigo Montoya have their moment of dialogue.

One-on-one face-off. Western.

Also, Inigo's tale of revenge. Western and a little bit thriller.

The Man in Black wins, and continues on to face off against Fezzik.

Fezzik is about being sportsmanlike. He demonstrates accuracy in his stone toss, and challenges The Man in Black to a wrestling match (for those of you who didn't know this, Fezzik, played by Andre the Giant, used to be a famous wrestler before ever showing up in movies).

Again, the Man in Black wins, and moves on to the Battle of Wits. And wins again.

The secret identity of the Man in Black is revealed, and the underlying superhero element nobody else sees is far more subtle here. Plus, there's the piracy element of the Dread Pirate Roberts.

Prince Humperdinck is quickly revealed to be manipulating the events; a brilliant military strategist who understands how to ensure war and chaos occur (even though he's a bloody coward). But only to those who notice that he seems to be reporting these events likened to someone who is spreading fake news. Still, newscast.

Meanwhile, more fantasy elements with the Fire Swamp. Again, slight bit of horror elements. The flame spurt, the lightning sand, and the Rodents of Unusual Size.

Each one carries a bit of a horror element to it. Her dress catches on fire, and she could have burned alive. But Wesley saved her.

She sinks into the lightning sand, instantly, and Wesley dives in after her. That moment of anticipation, that "oh no, will they make it?" however extremely small, is horror.

And finally, the RoUS that attacks Wesley and Buttercup. More horror, especially getting bitten.

Still, Wesley defeats the RoUS and saves the day again. But loses his love to Humperdinck when she bargains her life for his.

Wesley awakens in the Pit of Despair. Our true horror element, as well as science fiction, suspense, thriller, all in one setting.

And then we get a porno section where Humperdinck ties up Princess Buttercup and has his way with her... Whoops, that's just the fan fiction. My bad.

Kidding. But I had to make sure you were still reading, and not asleep.

And now we get to our religious section: Miracle Max. No, this wasn't a coincidence, his name. Miracles are a religious belief, more than anything, and Max even says, "It'll take a miracle."

Although, the true religious moment is among the most iconic moments:

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"Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder today. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam..."

Comedy and religious, because you cannot help but laugh at this moment.

Castle is stormed, and the strategy is not unlike pulling off a heist.

The final Western Standoff moments occur: Inigo Montoya VS The Six-Fingered Man, Count Rugen, and Wesley VS Humperdinck.

Also, Superhero moments, good vs evil.

Movie is over, and we have our completion. Every genre exists in this one beautiful film about the greatest love story ever told. The lengths one man triumphs over for the woman he loves.

And a movie one can never watch enough times. One you can quote from just about anywhere in particular, and know who's seen it, and who hasn't because they don't know the quote.

A movie that is impossible not to love.