"We were on a BREAK"

The phrase, "we were on a break" is objectively iconic. Everyone knows what it's referring to even if they've never seen Friends.

There's often a debate about whether Ross technically did anything wrong by hooking up with the girl from the copy place, given they were, "on a break".

However, I'd argue that it was still a betrayal, even though they were on a break.

Ross' perspective: We just had a fight. We broke up. I'm out with my friends. This hot girl is interested in me. I'm sad and lonely. She's hot. We bang. (Season 3 Ep15) And now I'm sorry.

Unfortunately, that's not even hardly touching the Mark of it all.

Their fight was over Mark, one of Rachels co workers. Ross is jealous of him because Ross, is a jealous freak. It is explained to us in season 5 Ep18 that Ross was extremely trusting until Carol cheated on him with Susan. At this stage he doesn't trust Emily but that's another essay.

He is now paranoid and jealous, and he and Rachel keep fighting about Mark, and anything involving him. Rachel exclaims that she's tired of having the same fight over and over again, as Ross' jealousy first reared its ugly head and hasn't left since 7 episodes ago. Rachels says let's take a break from us, and Ross leaves in a huff. He later calls Rachel to make up, and she is so on board, but he hears Mark in the background and hangs up in another huff. Almost like a tantrum.

Rachel's perspective: We had a stupid fight and are now taking a little break. I still love him and miss him, and even though my work friend is here. I just want to work through this. (Season 3 Ep15) And now I find out he slept with someone last night and I am PISSED.

I agree that they were on a break, but I'm with Rachel on this. I'm PISSED! Ross was jealous that Rachel would hook up with Mark, however when given the opportunity she turns him down, and Ross is the one who ends up hooking up.

Not only was it the actual night they "broke up", which is an obscene turn around time but whatever, but Rachel has been cheated on before so it stings extra hard.

In season 5 Ep8, we learn that Rachels high school boyfriend left her for a sluttier girl and they suspect he cheated. We know Barry was cheating on Rachel (S1 Ep20, S6 Ep16, S10 Ep 5) for the entirety of their relationship, and that Paulo was likely cheating on her, or at least willing to, because he made a pass at Phoebe (Season 1 Ep12).

In those 3 relationships she didn't love any of them like the loved Ross, and that's why it hurt so bad. To be cheated on 3 times in 10 years, and then have this betrayal, it hurts worse than the previous ones combined. Sure, it's caught in a technicality, but the hurt is still there.

Their relationship as a whole:

All their troubles really started when Rachel got a job at Bloomingdales. Rachel was so excited to finally feel like she has a purpose and direction in her life, and wanted to put everything into this new job. Ross however expected nothing to change. He wanted her to be at his beck and call instead of working late all the time - which is a thing Ross did all the time (Season 2 Ep15), proof he's a hypocrite.

Ross is arguably the most hated character in the series, mostly for his toxic behaviour and jealous rage.

He is also very controlling, and wants Rachel all to himself. He insists on having things his way, regardless of who is involved, and he wants Rachel on his terms and his terms alone (S3 Ep2, S5 Ep9, S10 Ep2). He doesn't want Rachel to have agency of her own, and doesn't trust her with Mark.

Fixing it on the day:

He should have trusted her and let go of his jealousy. He should have not hooked up with someone else the night of their fight. He should have relinquished control. He should have been patient with her on the phone when he thought he might be hearing Mark in the background.

Rachel should have told Mark to go home when he arrived. She should have gone out looking for Ross before he had the chance to hook up with someone else. NO! No. Rachel was not responsible. How could she have known there would be a time crunch before Ross would go and bang some rando?

While Ross was under the impression their relationship was over, he is still in the wrong. Even if they did fully break up and never got back together, I'd still be bothered that he hooked up with someone else so soon. Literally hours.

Using "we were on a break" as an excuse, is not enough to make it ok. You were on a break, but should've known that this would jeopardise your future with this woman you supposedly love.

Did Ross even really love Rachel? Am I wrong, and using the excuse "we were on a break" really does make it ok? Who knows? Who cares? It's fiction. Regardless, Ross done messed up.

Ross sucks, but so does Rachel. So maybe they're kinda perfectly imperfectly toxic together?

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