Unusual Love, Actually

Love Actually is one of my favorite love movies of all time, and I am not the sort of person who enjoys romantic films. Released in 2003, the complexity of the movie's several overlapping stories of love captivated audiences worldwide. Nearly everyone who liked this movie found a love plot comparable to something they've experienced which made the movie relatable, as opposed to romance films that lead into the perfect happy ending with the perfect story to get them there. It also helped to have an enormous cast of several well-known actors, such as Liam Neeson, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Keira Knightly, and Hugh Grant.

As mentioned, romance is not my forte, and having movie suggestions thrown at me can be an entirely cringe experience because the majority of what people think I would like based off my enjoyment of Love Actually is always, without fail, off base. I never ask for help or advice because I know that when it comes to movies, I'm picky in a way that no one can really help me with.

So, how do you please a picky moviegoer with a movie suggestion that stays in such specifically described limits on what romance can contain to be enjoyable?

Step One: Look for Romance Films with Unique Subcategories

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, starring Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey, was released in 2004 as a romance film with a subcategory of a sci-fi film. While Love Actually is not a sci-fi film, choosing sci-fi or another unique subcategory starts off in the right direction by helping you look for romance outside the rom-com box. Supernatural romance, action romance, romantic horror, and romantic thrillers are all fairly unusual concepts for romance, so these subcategories are a great place to start in selecting a film suggestion (just be certain these subcategories are also enjoyed as main categories as well.) Despite the subcategories of Love Actually and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (Eternal Sunshine for short) differing, they have a similarity in that they are not your commonly seen love films.

Step Two: Look for Big Name Actors and Actresses

The majority of films that succeed in the box office have a lot of "big names" attached. In Love Actually, which grossed $246 million worldwide, showcased a wide variety of acting talents from multiple popular names. Eternal Sunshine brought us the two main characters played by Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey, but it also delighted us with a few other favorites such as Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo, Elijah Wood, and Tom Wilkinson. Even though Eternal Sunshine only grossed $72 million worldwide, the "big names" draw attention to viewers who follow main box office hits most often.

While indie films with lesser known actors and actresses are a favorite category of mine to support and promote, it's important to remember that when making suggestions for relatable films that a large portion of moviegoers look for the big names first and foremost. Besides the movie category, viewers want to see familiar faces on the promotional material; they want to know that an actor or actress they've trusted to entertain them in the past will be likely to do so again. The actors involved are a dominant factor in many moviegoer choices.

If, by chance, the person you're helping has a penchant for indie films, you'll want to hop over to those subcategories and avoid the big names entirely, unless your viewer specifically likes big names. This formula can be adjusted for personal preferences across all genres.

Step Three: Analyze the Plot

Every movie that people resonate with the most tends to have something appealing about the plot. While the visuals, direction, edits, and music all create a vital role in a movie's tone, the plot elements are what matter a lot to a picky viewer.

If you're looking to suggest something for Love Actually-based recommendations, make a generalized list of plot points for the main film to understand where the appeal comes in, and a separate list for any recommended film. From these lists, you can analyze similarities and explore the philosophies of the concepts while deciding if the appeal lines up enough to be a winning suggestion.

For Love Actually, I've compiled this list as appealing plot points:

-Multiple stories that overlap

-Realistic situations in love

-Relatable situations for viewers

-Unlike many other love stories

For Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I've compiled this list:

-Complex story timeline

-Realistic love with an unrealistic sci-fi element

-Realistic characters with relatable lives

-Original, one-of-a-kind love story

(Mind you, these plot points that are "appealing" are only appealing by my opinion, and I do not expect agreement on every level.)

Let's break it down further by drawing specifics of each film and what links them as movies that can be enjoyed by the same selective viewers.

Multiple stories that overlap + Complex story timeline

Love Actually follows eight separate love stories, which sounds like an unreasonable amount of mini-plots for it to make sense as one whole story. Surprisingly, this isn't the case, as the end of the movie ties several of the couples to one another in minor but satisfying ways. With each individual love story existing in different places, all while these characters can still exist as part of a larger whole in the end, it's a very satisfying ending to what may feel like a chaotic film with so many characters to remember.

Eternal Sunshine shows two main characters the most, with focus from Jim Carrey's perspective and experience, but the story's timeline is so complex that at the end, everything wraps up into an exuberant "ah-ha!" Although it doesn't have multiple overlapping stories to the extent of Love Actually, Eternal Sunshine showcases the main characters in love in addition to the dynamics of the other characters with complex love situations that are only exacerbated by the sci-fi element of the film.

Overlapping stories and a complicated timeline to decipher run along the same enjoyable movie concept to me, which is the creation of reality with enough complexities that the movie makes you feel and think when the credits start to roll. They both present very real situations with unique hurdles that create some kind of moral understanding about the concept of love in real life. You don't leave either movie thinking, "How cute was that?" You leave with more questions than answers, and that's what both films do for me.

Realistic situations in love + Realistic love with an unrealistic sci-fi element

Love Actually has multiple stories with relatable characters and common love issues, such as marital dishonesty, adultery, unrequited love, taboo love, love between friends, love that knows no bounds in different languages, and how to find love after a loss. Without describing individual plot lines, I can confidently generalize that there is something in the movie that every moviegoer can find they've experienced before. Even if just one character relates to the viewer, that character's reappearances occur plenty enough to keep hold of interest in the rest of the film. Love Actually provides the opportunity for enough sub-plots that viewers find themselves excited to see what happens next for more than one of the love situations.

Eternal Sunshine follows a man and woman who fall in love, break up, and decide to try again, to put it in the most simple terms possible without spoiling the plot. Kate Winslet as Clementine and Jim Carrey as Joel, the main characters, hold in common a science fiction medical location where they both receive services. Within the medical building, there are complex love dynamics occurring in other characters. We see a few levels of love interactions here while maintaining the excitement of a futuristic medical concept and how that concept is impacting everyone's love lives. However, the level of science fiction isn't so outrageous that the viewer might think it's actually too impossible to enjoy, if the viewer is as realistic as I am; this leaves the medical fiction element to be part of the plot without dominating the entire film.

To put it most simply, both movies exhibit realistic love situations that are relatable. However, both captivate your attention with unique plot points that don't take away from the strength of the love message at the end, and I feel that is what viewers need most in the end: satisfaction with how everything wraps up. Both movies exhibit a well rounded ending, although not entirely happy or perfect.

Relatable situations for viewers + Realistic characters with relatable lives

Love Actually, as mentioned, has relatable situations for viewers. One character loses his wife and has to help his son deal with his first love experience in school while grieving; another character cannot commit to loving a partner due to commitment to her medically unstable brother who requires all of her attention; an office boss and his secretary getting too friendly with the wife discovering the affair; a man who is in love with his best friend's wife doesn't know how to cope with his emotions beyond avoiding her. Even if none of us have ever been in these specific situations, a lot of them involve betrayal, grief, and moral conflict, which are concepts we can all agree upon as universal experiences. The couples didn't meet in magical ways with fireworks and flashy money, and none of them live overly lavishly, which is the economic reality for the majority of us on this planet.

Eternal Sunshine offers an unrealistic situation with the fictional medical services, but the roles are given such vastly unique personalities, you find yourself drawn into the realistic nature of their characters. Clementine is a quirky bookstore employee who dyes her hair vibrant colors and has a knack for spontaneity and danger; Joel is a reserved, quiet man who works an unspecified job and lives in a very small and plain apartment. Elijah Wood plays a heartsick love puppy with unhealthy approaches to women while Mark Ruffalo and Kirsten Dunst play medical employees who like to party while they work the night shift. Even if the characters aren't entirely relatable (admittedly, I share qualities with Clementine, which makes me enjoy the movie all the more) they're all created with such complex personality traits, it draws viewers in much more than a basic formula for likable characters. I've worked in a bookstore, just like Clementine, while plenty of people know someone who was so love sick they were willing to go ridiculous lengths to find love.

If a plot is realistic enough with characters you might not necessarily relate to, a movie can be enjoyable based on that alone. This is where I stand with Love Actually, as the plot is relatable enough to make me feel seen and heard, although I cannot name a single character I have an understanding of beyond regular enjoyment of the role. In Eternal Sunshine, I can identify with a character while finding quirks in all of the other characters that I can appreciate or relate to someone I know and love. The most basic way to describe this concept is the level of realism, and my interest in romance films comes strongly with relatable, realistic situations and people (with occasional futuristic or horrific twists.)

Unlike many other love stories + Original, one-of-a-kind love story

Love Actually has the appeal of several situations to fall in love with for being creative, and the appeal is strengthened by the loose ends tying together in the end as many of the couples have connections that show you just how intertwined all of us are in the world of being in love. It makes the movie entirely unique because it successfully pulls off so many elements as separate entities while identifying them as a complex networking of love and the situations that come from that feeling.

Eternal Sunshine has what no other love movie has: a fictional element never before seen in any other film and the impacts it has on love while maintaining a relatable concept of how we cope with falling out of love and what is and is not healthy in coping mechanisms when it comes to loving other people. It is entirely original in its creation, and truly, there is no other romance movie that comes close to comparison.

However, I find similar reasons to love both movies, while they remain two separately unique movies on their own.

Step Four: Understand Your Viewer Beyond Movie Tastes

This part is likely the most important bit in the formula for the perfect recommendation: viewers are not all the same individuals, even when they're firm in the categories of films they choose as favorites. In order to understand more about what a viewer is looking for, I think it's important to understand who they are as a person. Asking simple personality questions could be useful, like having someone describe their Zodiac sign traits and which ones are most relatable to them or having someone describe their Myers-Briggs Personality Type (if the person has taken the test before.)

Examples

If you ask a Leo what traits she identifies with the most, she might tell you that being a leader is most important. At that point, you might think you need to find a movie for her who had a strong main character, as being a leader is inspiring to her. From there, you can explore preferred categories and subcategories for that element, and from there you can add more complex layers to the understanding. Have them list ten of their strongest characteristics and cross reference multiple movie elements with your assumptions of preferences based on how many elements seem to correspond.

I am an INTJ personality type from the Myers-Briggs test. According to INTJ Secrets, this personality type has, "...conflicting personality traits that are often misunderstood by the masses. The way these qualities work against each other and even for each other at different times makes INTJs one of the most rare personality types." That would definitely explain why I am such a picky moviegoer to help out with recommendations; however, this kind of information is useful, because an understanding that my tastes will not always cross over with one another logically provides more of a chaotic expectation. This provides unique insight into how many different ways movies can be relatable to one another.

It's not a perfect step or idea by any means, but it seems like a reasonable way to approach perfecting the process of determining what someone else should spend time watching.

Too Long, Don't Read: The Formula for Movie Recommendations

Categories and Subcategories

In order to understand what a viewer wants from his or her movies, you have to understand how categories and their subcategories have conceptual relatability. For example, romantic thrillers and romantic horror likely appeal to the same crowd, due to thrillers typically having a horror element of some kind; romantic drama and romantic sci-fi found a connection in my recommendation of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind based on the love for Love Actually.

Big name actors and actresses

The theory that big name actors and actresses draw more attention is fairly debatable, but for this specific comparison within the romance category, it is appropriate that the A-list actors and actresses who maintain a popular following be considered a focus in the formula. Celebrities hold a certain influence over a lot of lives, and people who dedicate themselves to big names are more likely to dedicate themselves to other films that these names are involved with.

Plot Analysis

Watch movies, take note of plot points you enjoy and why you enjoy them, and cross-reference these major points with films that have similar concepts. They don't have to be identical to be enjoyable to the same person.

Human Trait and Category Cross-Referencing

Understanding your subject is a major role in any scientific situation, so if we were to call the perfect formula for viewing recommendations a scientific process, involving individual human traits with categorical enjoyments and cross-referencing the information would be beneficial in narrowing down options. Often, everything is too generalized to be specifically enjoyable as a recommendation, so deepening this process would certainly push us one step closer to perfection. Which is great, because I'm a Virgo and I love perfection.

The bottom line? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is a fantastic recommendation for any fan of Love Actually. Get lost in something different, and maybe you'll come out of the experience a little different, yourself.