TV's Stupidest Classic Shows (List)

In a medium as dumbed down as television is, it’s hard to go lower. But, TV does keep trying.

Cable makes broadcast TV better, but, now and then, something truly stupid makes it through. For some reason, the 60s, 70s, and 80s were the Golden Years of Dumb TV. To prove it, look at the ratings. Most of these shows were hits...

The Flying Nun: A short, skinny, missionary nun, wearing an aerodynamic habit, and living in a mountain convent in Puerto Rico, discovers she can fly because of the high winds. So she uses her powers to cadge donations from a wealthy island native Playboy who is always prevented from getting the girl. Stupid idea terrifically pulled off by an always appealing Sally Field.

She's The Sheriff: A gorgeous, ditzy sheriff’s wife and young mother takes over his job after he’s killed on duty. Makes perfect sense. Also, it didn’t hurt that Suzanne Sommers looked totally hot in that suede Sheriff’s uniform.

Cop Rock: Cops in the middle of a drug bust, start dancing and singing, using their cars and equipment as props. Even the robbers join in now and then. Beats getting shot.

Dark Shadows: Ghosts, monsters, and even Dracula (sort of) show up in a small town, terrorizing the populace. Sound like a cheap horror flick? Not even close. This stupid TV show was actually a daytime Soap Opera! Where's Bela Lugosi or Vincent Price when you really need them?

Knight Rider: A cop has a near death experience and pairs up with an indestructible Pontiac Firebird equipped with artificial intelligence. Which was what was required for anyone with an IQ above 80 to watch this show. But, the car was so cool, most viewers didn’t care.

Manimal: A rich guy learns how to transform himself into any animal. He sticks to either a Hawk—or a Jaguar. Instead of turning himself into a kitten strolling into a ladies locker room. He solves mysteries. Why? The show was so stupid it was cancelled after only eight episodes. Sometimes, putting a Manimal down is the only choice.

Homeboys In Outer Space: Two bros from the hood fly an 18-wheeler low rider around space in the 23rd century. Are humans even dumber in the future? Looks like it.

Holmes and Yoyo: A black-cloud detective with a knack for getting his partners killed is paired up with a new one who seems to be impervious to injury. Because he's an experimental Android. Maybe they should have gone with IOS?

The Powers Of Matthew Star: Another stupid TV show in which the alien with hidden super powers uses them for good instead of for picking up hot chicks. All of his powers were useless after the show was cancelled in the first season.

Hee Haw: Intentionally stupid? Or just plain dumb? We’ll never know. But, as funny as the Hillbilly Vaudeville was, there was an intentional “Dumbing Down” vibe that was ultimately too hard to shake. So how did it last more than 600 episodes? Think Country music, Daisy Dukes, and low-cut push-up bras.

My Mother The Car: A lawyer discovers his mother has been reincarnated as a 1928 Porter automobile. Huh? It’s never explained how or why. Apparently, viewers didn’t care. And still don’t. The show is currently in syndication, and it’s considered a Baby Boomer cult classic. Not so stupid after all.

And, finally...

Hogan’s Heroes: How did this show get past the pitch stage? “It’s about a wisecracking Army Officer in a Nazi concentration camp…” “Go on…” Ghastly bad taste, yet terribly funny, because of the richly drawn characters and rapid-fire jokes. Hey, it was a hit show for more than six years.

Kind of like the war itself...