This Is Your 'Infinite Icon'? What You May Not Have Known About Paris Hilton

Just one day before the start of Pride Month 2024, a statement that I’ve waited for with bated breath for nearly 18 years was finally made –

Paris Whitney Hilton, the first of her name, she of the Juicy Couture era, The One Who Lives A (Not So) Simple Yet Glamorous Life, was finally releasing her long-delayed second studio album, Infinite Icon.

Sweet merciful Damita Jo, I never thought the day would come.

Since the first season of The Simple Life (which is not coming back, despite what you think you’ve heard), I have lightly but consistently followed the career and existence of the now 43-year-old controversial socialite-turned-modern businesswoman. From the moment she first stepped on the scene in 2003, I found myself drawn to the massive hype that embraced her seemingly overnight – a relative no-one who quickly became infamous, partly due to her famous last name. Paris wasn’t the first to gain national attention for such a non-feat, but she was one of the few who knew how to keep it on her and still does to this very day.

With just a season-and-a-half of The Simple Life under her bejeweled belt in 2004, Paris decided to make one of her biggest dreams come true: Pop stardom. Unlike most who gave her a heavy side-eye following the announcement, I knew exactly what to expect from her. She wouldn’t dare try to be the next Christina Aguilera or even a Mandy Moore type, but she would deliver some great songs to drink and dance to for the summer months – and that, she did.

In 2004, the first tease of Hilton’s music career, the bouncy “Screwed,” leaked online. Some claimed she was lip-syncing. Others said she stole the song from them (sorry, Haylie Duff). But I didn’t care what anyone said. From the very first listen to the 100th, I was hooked.

Almost two years later; following her official first single, the dreamy “Stars Are Blind,” Paris, the album, was released. Despite many criticisms from professionals, music listeners, and haters alike, the album did surprisingly well. It sold around 77,000 copies in its first week and debuted in the top 10. Mind you, this was still in an era when digital music had not yet become the norm, which means a good chunk of those sales are physical copies.

And yes, I own one of those copies – the deluxe DVD version, to be exact.

Since that time, she has gone through more than a few metamorphoses. Now far removed from the party girl many of us saw hitting hot spot after hot spot via TMZ, she is now a wife and mother of two, a world-renowned DJ, a New York Times best-selling author multiple times over, and an advocate for children and teenagers. In short, Paris Hilton is now an adult and she’s kind of killing it.

Incidentally, she’s also killed all the respect and admiration I once held for her. You should know how this goes by now, folks – if I’m bringing up a name, it’s to take them down a peg or two (and usually for good reason).

In March 2023, Hilton published her third book and first memoir, Paris: The Memoir. I have yet to read it, but I’ve learned through multiple reviews that she reveals many things about her privileged life for the first time. This includes but isn’t limited to, deep dives into her multiple stays at teen treatment centers, her relationship with professional poker player Rick Salomon and the leaking of their infamous sex tape, her time on The Simple Life with former BFF-turned-frenemy Nicole Richie (who, if you didn’t know, is also a pretty good singer), and much more. She also speaks on the multiple controversies she’s caused or had a hand in.

In one section of The Memoir, Paris shares dark memories from her time at the Provo Canyon School in Utah, a residential treatment center for troubled youth. She alleges that she, along with other teens, was physically and sexually abused by staff at the treatment center. Sometime after her release, she was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which Paris says she still suffers from today.

While she notes her trauma is not an “excuse” for some of her more unsavory actions, she claims a combination of it, along with excessive alcohol abuse, has been the instigator for many of those scandals. This includes her usage of multiple slurs.

"The N-word. The C-word. The F-word. (Not that F-word, the worse one.) I look back on some of the things I said in the years after I left Provo, in the throes of PTSD, and I'm mortified," Hilton wrote. "I'm grossed out because that means those creepy people got inside my head. I never really left them behind."

Well, that’s a new one: “I was abused so much, slurs entered my vocabulary.” First time for everything, I suppose.

“Sometimes I was just wasted and being a fucking moron," she continued. "I don't remember half the stuff people say I said when I was being a blacked-out idiot, but I'm not denying it because coming out of the [teen treatment] system, I had a severely damaged filter – except when I was buzzed and had no filter at all."

Until a few months ago, I only recalled one specific incident. It was in September 2012, when Radar Online acquired audio of a conversation between Hilton and a gay male model during a cab ride in New York City. The story goes that once the taxi driver heard how Hilton was speaking, he began to record their conversation.

"Say I log into Grindr,” the male friend tells Hilton. “Someone that's on Grindr can be in that building and it tells you all the locations of where they are and you can be like, 'Yo, you wanna fuck?' and he might be on like, the sixth floor.”

Disgusted, Paris replies, “Ewww. Eww. To get fucked? Gay guys are the horniest people in the world.”

(We can be, but that’s not the point.)

"They're disgusting,” she continued. “Dude, most of them probably have AIDS. I would be so scared if I was a gay guy. You’ll, like, die of AIDS."

I was floored when I first heard the audio. Not just because of how demoralizing it was to the LGBTQ+ community, but because the LGBTQ+ community was the very reason Paris Hilton still had any pull in 2012 (#FactsAreFacts). Additionally, just a year before, Hilton had been photographed by the NOH8 Campaign, a popular LGBTQ+ charitable organization, known for featuring celebrities with duct tape covering their mouths.

You would think someone in her position would think twice before speaking out of turn about the ones keeping them culturally relevant, but as Momma often told me, “That’s what you get for thinking.” Sorry, Momma – you were right, as always.

On the same day the taxicab confession leaked, Hilton had a spokesperson do some damage control on her behalf.

“Paris Hilton’s comments were to express that it is dangerous for anyone to have unprotected sex that could lead to a life-threatening disease. The conversation became heated after a close gay friend told her in a cab ride, a story about a gay man who has AIDS and is knowingly having unprotected sex,” they explained. “The cab driver who recorded this only provided a portion of the conversation. It was not her intent to make any derogatory comments about all gays. Paris Hilton is a huge supporter of the gay community and would never purposefully make any negative statements about anyone’s sexual orientation.”

So being called “disgusting,” “the horniest people,” and being “scared” of us was a show of support. Wow, don’t you love when people come up with new definitions of words to make crap choices seem less crappy?

Paris herself would follow suit later that day with a direct apology through GLAAD, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.

“As anyone close to me knows, I always have been and always will be a huge supporter of the gay community. I am so sorry and so upset that I caused pain to my gay friends, fans, and their families with the comments [from] this morning," Hilton said. "I was having this private conversation with a friend of mine who is gay and our conversation was in no way towards the entire gay community. It is the last thing that I would ever want to do and I cannot put into words how much I wish I could take back every word."

"HIV/AIDS can hurt anyone, gay and straight, men and women," she continued. "It's something I take very seriously and should not have been thrown around in conversation."

Good work, PR person! You earned that bonus.

The story was mostly swept under the rug. Case in point, the original apology is no longer accessible on the GLAAD website. To Paris’ benefit, this all happened around the same time she began her overseas DJ career. Out of sight, out of mind.

While I never forgot this incident nor the audio connected to it (which, unlike her apology, is still accessible), I found myself dealing with the matter the same way many queer people have in the past. Sadly, we’ve all known someone speaking negatively of the LGBTQ+ community, either directly or indirectly. Blinded by varying levels of emotional attachment to the offender, we chalk it up to ignorance or people being uneducated about certain matters, like HIV infections and AIDS.

At the time, I didn’t think someone like party queen Paris Hilton cared to know about how HIV and AIDS could affect anyone’s life – gay or straight – much less possess the mental capacity to acknowledge the true weight of her words. Looking back, I can see how my need to forgive and forget was just as ignorant as her actions.

This wasn’t some young, dumb 20-something. When she made these comments, Paris Hilton was 31 years old. She was a whole-ass grown woman. Even if she didn’t understand the ins and outs of such a life-changing condition, she should’ve known not to say something so vile to a gay person or any person, for that matter.

I would discover other things I didn’t know concerning Paris just a few months ago, and somehow, they were worse than I could ever imagine.

While speaking to a friend about my love of Paris’ album, they asked me if I was aware of a Buzzfeed News expose about Hilton from 2023. When I replied I wasn’t, they sent me a link and told me to brace myself. The warning, I would soon learn, was justified.

That post, titled ‘People Are Calling Out Paris Hilton’s “Rebrand” By Pointing Out Her Long History Of Racist And Anti-Gay Comments,’ still makes my skin crawl just at the thought of it. The thorough write-up, by reporter Stephanie Soteriou, begins with a summary of Hilton’s impact on pop culture and her switch-up from hotel heiress to household name.

What follows next is a timeline of dubious and problematic behavior, starting way before the infamous 2012 cab ride recording, and well beyond it. Here are just a few instances (read on at your own risk):

A [uncovered video] shows Paris and her younger sister, Nicky Hilton, dancing together at a house party to the Notorious B.I.G.’s “Hypnotize.” While dancing with exaggerated movements, Paris approaches the camera and says: “We’re like two n*ggers!”

In 2006, LA party planner Brian Quintana was granted a restraining order against Paris after he claimed that she called him a “lazy Mexican” and bombarded him with abusive phone calls.

In 2020, Jezebel were sent archival footage of Paris singing a parody of “We Are Family” by Sister Sledge, where she changed the lyrics to: “I am a fat ugly Jewish bitch / I’m a little j*p-y Jew / I am a little Black whore, I get fucked in the butt for coke / I’m a n*gger and I’m Black and I steal shit.”

The rest - yes, there's more - can be read here, but please be warned – it is not an easy read, especially with so many disgusting words appearing right after the other. Protect your energy if you must.

As I sat there scrolling through this piece, reading each vile slur that allegedly escaped her lips, I could feel the rage build within me. With every publicist and friend claiming she wasn’t the “type of person” such vileness would reflect (and there were a few), my rage would surge. For years, I had defended this woman; not just her album, but her as a person. I saw Paris as someone misunderstood and forced into the limelight in the worst way; someone who managed to turn it around and prove that she had, at the very least, earned the attention that always seemed to find her.

I looked on proudly as she built her brand and positioned herself as an inspiration to others. All of these years… and all of these disgusting words. When I reached the final line of the Buzzfeed article, my face was hot and I was in tears. Angry tears. I allowed them to flow. I felt extremely deceived.

I’d like to take a moment to both decompress from these memories and combat, what I’m sure, will be a mass of Paris’ fans – particularly, gay white fans – charging in mass to my comment section to play (white) savior. I expect more than a few of them to claim I’m trying to “cancel” her (as if I could. Paris Hilton is a goddamn millionaire. You can’t cancel white people with that much money).

A few months ago, TikTok content creator Bela Delgado took on a bunch of problematic notables, including actor Mark Wahlberg and his multiple hate crimes. Bela effortlessly explained why I, or any other marginalized party, have every right to feel how we feel about these people and these acts, no matter how long ago they may have occurred. You can check out the video below.

Here’s the section I want you all to focus on:

“I understand [Wahlberg] was young when these things happened. However, I feel like there's a fucking line. Yes, people can grow and change, but typically, this logic is applied to edgy problematic memes you posted on Tumblr when you were in high school.”

Paris was an adult during many, if not all, of the incidents mentioned in the BuzzFeed article. It wasn’t just once or twice where she opened her mouth and complete and utter fuckery flew out – there were multiple occasions of this happening, and it wasn’t just targeted toward Black or queer people. To borrow another line from Bela, “That's the type of shit you have to have a very specific hate in your heart to do."

If you can get through that entire Buzzfeed piece and think, “You know what? That was back then and Paris has since grown up - I forgive her,” then, good for you. You truly have every right, God-given or otherwise, to forgive Paris Hilton. What you don't have the right to do is forgive her on my behalf or those from the various marginalized communities those words she spoke are meant to hurt.

As a person with ties to more than one marginalized community, I don’t feel good reading those comments, and I’m sure others feel the same. Do not tell us how to feel. This is not about you. And with that, please get out of my mentions.

(Fair warning - the second anyone tries that whole, “but Black people say the “n” word all of the time!” bullshit, you will find out just how vicious I can get with my words. Tread lightly.)

I believe someone’s mindset can evolve well after their 20s and 30s. All through our lives, we learn, we grow, we evolve. Human evolution only ends when we do. It is safe to say that Paris has displayed signs of clear evolution from the young woman many of us first met in 2003. Not only has she evolved her name into a worldwide brand with staying power, but she also has displayed emotional maturity through her two young children and her marriage to Carter Reum.

I cannot say if her mindset has evolved, but I know mine has. As such, I will not be claiming her as my infinite icon, or any other type of icon anytime soon. As it currently stands, I don’t see her. I don’t hear her. I don’t know her.

This past weekend, Paris celebrated the announcement of Infinite Icon with fans during a huge bash in NYC for LGBTQ+ Pride Month. As photos and videos of a beaming Paris wearing a sequined rainbow dress started to flood social media, I found myself smiling at the thought of all the queers in the crowd most likely losing their minds while singing along to her iconic hit, “Stars Are Blind.”

For a second, I wished I could be there, singing and laughing along … but almost as quickly, I came to my senses. The stars may be blind, but I’m not. If she is what constitutes as an “infinite icon,” I’ll stick with my legends, thank you very much.

P.S. Paris, if this somehow crosses your path, an apology – and not just an acknowledgment of your wrongs – would be nice. It wouldn’t be the fix-all to everything, but it’s a good place to start.