This Is the End

Logan walked into his apartment late into the evening. He had a call about a last minute parent-teacher conference involving a troubled student and a stubborn mother that likely explained the student's behavior. The call, unfortunately, interrupted a movie night that Patton wanted the two of them to have together.

Patton was understanding about Logan's work teaching, but when it came to scheduling dates, two weeks prior was three months since he stopped trying. Patton was understanding and optimistic, so Logan expected to carry a sleeping Patton from the couch to the bedroom and to cuddle with him. However, what he found, instead, as he turned on the lights and put his stuff away, was an empty couch, the TV off, and an open laptop that was clearly on. Logan sat on the couch and looked on the laptop. The monitor had a video that seemed to start with Patton sitting on the couch. The teacher clicked on the video to play it and took notice of a somber Patton, a sight he had never seen in the half-year they've dated. On the screen, Patton stayed silent and uncertain for a little while before looking at the camera.

"Logan," he started to say, "I've been providing patience and understanding. There have been times where you'd get so caught up in your work and miss out on dates except for the last ten minutes, but I text you at most twice to remind you. I casually mention these things to friends, as well as the visual clues that my signs of affection I've adjusted for you have been suffocating you and that you don't show signs of positive retaliation, and they would ask me if I'm at all concerned about you not being affectionate in any way. As much as I know that they meant well, I always blew them off by claiming you were a workaholic and that I could wait for you to meet me halfway or that maybe you express emotions differently."

Patton stopped and sniffled before looking away. As soon as Logan saw tears coming down his cheeks, he paused the video. He remembered there were many times when they would agree on a day and time for a date and Logan would get caught up in other tasks (paperwork that's not always immediately necessary, self-assigned errands that were more mundane and irrational in hindsight) and he'd look at the clock to see it's long past the time they were supposed to meet up. The few times he would actually make it to a date, he spent so much thinking about how to retaliate whenever Patton showed affection that the animal lover stopped the affectionate act entirely. Logan would ask if he was alright and Patton would always smile and claim that everything was okay. Logan played the video again and Patton just removed his glasses and wiped his tears before putting his glasses back on again.

"Do you know what kept me with you for six months? I told myself that you cared deep down. I told myself that, in due time, you would at least give me a bit of proof that you acknowledge me as a boyfriend. I said to myself that there would be a time where I would call you my husband and that you would somehow show me that you didn't feel obligated to say 'yes' to a private proposal in a public area or even a casual discussion about marriage if you actually wanted me for that long. And I sure hope you can find a reason for me to do this for so long, because I certainly can't anymore."

Patton turned away from the camera and sobbed for a while. Logan couldn't believe what he was watching and hearing. He never meant to keep Patton in the dark and seem emotionally neglectful. He certainly never meant to give Patton any reason to feel ashamed for needing affection and emotional validation.

"After giving myself reasons to not do so, I've finally decided that we shouldn't be boyfriends anymore, if we ever were to begin with."

Logan knew that he wanted to be better when it comes to keeping a significant other. He was more aware that he had to do more than just be logical in a relationship. He wished Patton was still there so he could hug the animal shelter owner and promise that he'll do better.

"To prove to myself that it's over, I put the cat hoodie you gave me in the autumn on the bed. Goodbye, Logan. I hope you find someone who doesn't want affection."

The video ended and Logan went to the bedroom and turn on the light to see the unmistakable cat hoodie he gave to Patton before they went apple picking. It was one of those days where he wasn't late for a scheduled date, but Logan sobbed into it as he recognized that it was too late to write his wrongs with Patton.

The following day and onwards, he used all Patton had taught him and then some to be more emotionally empathetic to the best of his ability. Not only did he rely on logic to figure out how to deal with the problems of his peers and students, but he actually thought to ask about their feelings for extra certainty.

He, eventually, met with a caricature artist named Virgil and bonded with him over different types of art. There would be times where Logan found himself enjoying Virgil's company more and more, and he made sure to remind him during times of distress, platonically and romantically. He provided enough emotional support to help Virgil feel valid, and Virgil was okay with Logan not being over enthusiastic with affection (just a little was more than enough). As for Patton? He found a partner in a local thespian named Roman who encouraged Patton's affections during their relationship and understood the concern of compensating for insecurities.