The Valley Season 3 Episode 3 Recap: "The Santa Clarita Trail"

Summary:

• Brandon debuts badly
• Danny exhausts everyone, including himself
• Jasmine says what we've all been thinking about Lala.

Episode 3 feels like a long drive through Santa Clarita traffic, with nowhere exciting to arrive at. Brittany is navigating a new relationship with a man who immediately starts performing for the cameras. Kristen is still postpartum, and Luke is still not reading the room. And Nia has relocated to Santa Clarita with Danny and four kids, visibly holding herself together by a thread. I went in hoping the season was finding its footing. I came out with a lot of feelings about Danny Booko.

Brittany Cartwright's Mommy Makeover Consultation

Brittany kicks off the episode by visiting a surgeon for a mommy makeover consultation, and this is honestly the most endearing I've found her in a while. Throughout her confessionals, she's visibly nervous and giggling through everything, and I think it's because this might genuinely be the first time someone has expressed real romantic interest in her on this show. The confidence she's chasing here feels earned, and I'm rooting for it. But girl, watch out for those red flags. 🚩🚩🚩

Kristen Doute Opens Up About Postpartum Struggles While Luke Misses the Point

Kristen's storyline is the one I feel most for in this episode. She talks openly about struggling with her postpartum body, and it comes across as one of the more honest and unguarded moments of the season so far. It's real in a way that much of this episode isn't, and I appreciated seeing it.

What I did not appreciate is Luke. He mentions more than once that he was hoping Kristen would come home drunk so they'd have sex. That landed horribly, and it should. Pressuring a postpartum partner into intimacy is not a quirky storyline, and multiple viewers called it out as coercive behavior in real time. The preview hints at a "what about my feelings" moment from Luke coming next week, and I'm already exhausted by it.

Jasmine Sherrod Vs. Lala Kent: The Girls' Night Blowup That Was Inevitable

On the girls' night party bus, Jasmine says out loud what most of us have been thinking: she and Lala would never be friends outside of this show, and the friendship doesn't feel authentic. It's a fair and honest point, and I respect her for making it. Lala's response is to call her "the enemy", which is such an overreaction that it almost becomes entertaining.

Michelle gets stuck in the middle, which feels like her permanent position this season. She did not carry that bone very well; perhaps Sheree Whitfield can teach her a thing or two. Worth noting: Nia's mom is sitting on this same party bus the entire time, babysitting the newborn.

Danny and Nia Booko's Housewarming Party and Brandon's Messy Debut

Danny throws a housewarming party, announces he has "never been happier," and leans so hard into his cowboy persona that it absolutely grinded my gears. Meanwhile, Nia is managing a newborn, breastfeeding, and corralling kids at her own party. At one point, Danny tells her, "You got a man to take care of these kids," and Nia replies, "You're hilarious," with absolutely zero warmth. He also gets caught sneaking a shot and denies it directly to the camera. Guess some people will never learn.

Then there's Brandon. He shows up and immediately starts performing for the cameras, publicly announcing Brittany as "my girlfriend" with a big arm swing, gossiping with the women, and inserting himself into conversations that have nothing to do with him. My read on Brittany's Brandon? He saw her as his ticket onto the show, which would explain why they reportedly broke up just a few months after filming.

The Valley Season 3 Needs to Trust Its Own Cast

This episode won't be remembered as a standout, but it's doing real work under the surface. The Danny and Nia dynamic has shifted from uncomfortable to an odd mixture of concern and annoyance, and I find myself unable to look away, even when I want to.

The Jasmine and Lala conflict has actual stakes because Jasmine is willing to be honest in a way that most of these women are not. But we need to tone down the emotional outburst a bit, Jasmine. It’s not that deep—unless you’re afraid Lala is going to take your spot? Brittany's Brandon situation is a slow-motion car crash I cannot stop watching.

The bones of a good season are here. The show just needs to stop leaning on its Vanderpump imports and let the original cast carry it. Next week, the boys get together at a cigar bar to discuss the Danny and Jason situation.