The McCallister's Are a Terrible Family

With Christmas just behind us now, and most of us looking forward with at least a little hope for the coming year I still feel the need to post this. Mostly because somethings aren’t just seasonal, even if that’s when they crop up.

One of our Christmas traditions, which will come as no surprise to anyone who knows us, is watching Christmas films: Die Hard, Lethal Weapon, Long Kiss Goodnight, the Grinch and Home Alone.

Anyhoo this year whilst watching the latter it really struck me just how horrible the McCallister family is. Sure Kevin is a bit of a jerk, but honestly if I was the youngest in that family I’d be a bit of a jerk too.

His parents dismiss him, overlook him, they never even say anything when other people, including adults who should know better, are downright cruel to him. I’m looking at you Uncle Frank. Any adult as self-important, rude and generally arseholey as that man, who speaks to my kid in that manner, wouldn’t be staying in my house. Family or no. In fact those people are not people I’d be wanting to spend any significant amount of my holiday time with.

So to lead you down my path of thinking, I’m going to break a few things down and see where you come out.

• A specific type of cheese only pizza is ordered for Kevin and when he arrives at the table it is all gone – there are so many levels of inconsideration here.

• Buzz jokes about eating Kevin’s pizza and throwing it back up for him in a manner that indicates he did it on purpose – as a parent this behaviour wouldn’t be tolerated in my house, it causes so much unnecessary dissention, not to mention leans very much towards favouritism.

• When Kevin breaks due to the bullying (let’s call it what it is, ribbing between family members happens both ways) he is the one who gets blamed and punished.

• Uncle Frank calls him a jerk when the drinks get spilt, due to the aforementioned bullying, and no one calls him on it. Frank is essentially on the same level as Buzz – what a great adult role model.

• The mother clearly isn’t impartial.

• What dickhead doesn’t check all passports (one gets thrown in the bin). On a similar note, who assumes even the youngest child would be responsible and have their own documents, and there be no need for the adult to check?

• What idiot doesn’t check their alarm is set correctly before going to bed when they know they have a specific time of departure?

• Seriously, how do you not do a head count before everyone gets on a plane, especially if you aren’t all sitting together?

• Neither parent bothered to check their youngest was settled in fine for the flight. It must be nice to have travelled that extensively to assume a child of that age is fine sorting everything for themselves.

• The parents clearly fucked up, yet in so many interactions the mother is blaming everyone else for her being kept away from her son. That’s some kind of entitlement.

• The whole family is incredibly arrogantly entitled, but this comes out more clearly in the second film, so more on this later.

• How is it that no one thinks - okay this is a disaster, let’s send one person back to get Kevin and we can all celebrate Christmas a day or two late and still get a holiday.

• Everyone is still being a dick to Kevin.

• All the adults laughing and encouraging Buzz’s dickheadery during the concert.

• Buzz’s apology is bogus and he isn’t called on it, the responsibility is placed on both children equally when the second action wouldn’t have happened without the first. If anyone had bothered to correct Buzz about his general bad behaviour previously, we may not have got to this point.

• Okay it’s clear the Kevin may need some anger management counselling.

• They don’t check the alarm clock again. How?

• Not checking everyone gets on the plane – again.

• Again the mother blaming other people for what her son got up to rather than taking any real responsibility herself.

• And back to the entitlement I mentioned earlier – at the end of the film the family wake to find thousands of dollars worth of presents in their complimentary suite and not one person questions where they came from, they just rip into them.

• My goodness, not once is Kevin punished for all the trouble he caused.

The McAllister’s are self-centered, entitled assholes, not to mention entirey too stupid. I think I’ll stick with Die Hard and The Grinch next Christmas.