January 1st, 1048
Dear people of Scotland,
This is my confession, a side to me that was not known to anyone. As dark as I am, as frightful as I am, and as sinful as I am. And I am glad that I am finally letting it all out. The thing is that I never understood destiny until it led me to this, to this very state that I am in right now. For me, fate was just a word. A word our ancestors used to make sense of the society, of the universe when there was nothing to believe in. But now, after everything that happened to me, I think fate is not just a word. It is a sign from the universe to undo the sins that one did. A signal to announce that people had to pay back for their wickedness but for some fate is the opposite. It comes in a sweet form and leaves after blessing the kind ones with health, fortune, and prosperity. But instead of letting fate decide for me, I decided to play with fate instead. And it was the biggest mistake I made in my entire life, which caused me many innocent lives and even my own mental health. And I risked everything just for the sake of my greediness. The feeling of success impelled me, and I indeed forgot what it is like to be humane, what it is like to be kind, to be composed...and I guess I am the fault here. The main root of all evil...Because I have blood all over me now and even if I try to wash, it won't go away because it is a sin that's too big to be pardoned. Because of me, a woman and her child died, because of me, an innocent man who died, and also a father of a child. I am the force that destroys everything in its way, destroys the good in this world, and why not, because when you spend so much time confined in darkness, you find that It is darkness begins to stare back. And I guess that's what exactly happened to me. The overcoming of darkness filled my entire state of mind that I forgot everything else left to enjoy in this world instead of success. That life has joy and love, and one can find these even in the tiniest things in life. But I perhaps missed it along my quest for success, and maybe it had been overshadowed by my greed, by my selfishness. But look at me now, look how helpless and weak I am right now, how exposed and vulnerable. I want to go back in time and undo all the horrible deeds that I committed. And all the pure souls that faded because of me. Still, I want to seek forgiveness from the innocent people that were killed because of me. That's the only thing I can do right now. To seek forgiveness, right? But the sad truth is that I will never get to seek forgiveness from them because they are long gone. Their kids will never be able to hear their voices ever again. Their parents will never be able to listen to their cry for help, and it's only because of me, only because of my desires, my greedy nature. And once again, just like that, my villain was able to destroy me by pretending to my dream. And at last, after all the chaos and the murders I caused, I took a deep breath and let it all go for good this time, inhaling the scent of the sea and the freshness of the air.