The Depressed Goblin Nightmare Man; An Introduction.

She likes all your favourite bands, and a few you haven’t heard of yet. She is unteachable, unethical, and unstoppably wonderful. She is every male writers’ favourite poorly thought out plot device, now legendary, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Famous examples of MPDG’s are Ramona Flowers (Scott Pilgrim), Clementine (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), and anything Zooey Deschanel has ever been in. These girls are interesting, creative, wilful, charismatic and within themselves often complex and invaluable characters. However, their existence remains attached to a man for whom she exists as a plot point, used to guide him to a better life, or else some other form of masculine clarity.

I was having a discussion with a friend not long ago, and he revealed that he has discovered her exact opposite; the Depressed Goblin Nightmare Man. This phrase sums up in every way the counterpart to the MPDG; a man who exists to place women on pedestals, and slowly eek out poetry/ art/ acoustic guitar lessons until eternity takes him. He dies with her name on his lips, wondering if she still tastes like sunshine. These men have been called out before for their problematic behaviour, and the often-distasteful treatment of their fairy-tale gals. At this point in time there is a good level of awareness of the MPDG, articles have picked out her pros, cons, and in between bits for many years. But the scrutiny lands little on the men who live at the centre of these stories. I’m not trying to prove that these men are inherently evil, deceitful or difficult, but rather that the position they hold in their stories should be held to the same level of intensive analysis as the MPDG. Thus, I intend to take a closer look at a couple of the notable standouts who I believe are deserving of the title; Depressed Goblin Nightmare Man.

Tom- 500 Days of Summer

Joseph Gordon Levitt plays a fine young man who works at a greeting card factory (weird). On the outside Tom appears to have many things that would appeal to his desired partner. The steady job, decent apartment, family man, connection with friends, and ultimately a longish term goal. Not a bad lot in life, and nothing here that could condemn a man. Tom’s nightmarish qualities are discovered early on however. In a classic move, Tom falls for Summer at first sight, across a crowded room. Pretty, yet problematic, already placing Summer on a pedestal she is at no point happy to be on. While they enjoy their time together Summer is bright and sparkly, with just enough hidden emotion to keep her enticing to the male gaze. Tom, however, has full breakdowns through the roller coaster that is their one and half year relationship. He goes from choreographed dancing with too many extras, to breaking plates and yelling at unknowns on his street. His world is wrapped up in her in a way that violates her personal agency, and is at times, quite frankly, cringy. The movie asks us to come with him on this journey and sympathise with his character however distasteful some of his behaviour is. In this way, we also vilify Summer as she goes through her own journey of discovery, and eventually commits herself to another man. Her trajectory is one of self-discovery, which eventually leads her to a happiness she wasn’t sure she would find. Tom bases his self-worth on her perception of him, and though we leave him in a hopeful position his growth is minimal, and we are left with the assumption that he is about to throw himself into another arse-over-tit relationship. Tom your behaviour was at best unhelpful, and at worst, completely toxic.

Goblin Line:

“Roses are red, violets are blue... Fuck you, whore!”

Scott- Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

This film is so well loved that I’m a little hesitant to read through Scott for his depressed Goblin ways. But Ramona Flowers is often heralded as one of the most stereotypical Manic Pixie Dream Girls, that I couldn’t leave this couple alone. The ever-changing colourful hair and deadpan expression has made her a favourite of the genre. And she is a favourite of mine! But upon inspection, my god, Scott has some problematic antics in this comic book-based escapade from 2010. Not only does he -ahem- overlap his two relationships in the film, most of the women he has any romantic relationship with are built up to these unattainable expectations. He also follows the trend of falling in love at first sight, and literally following her around a party trying to gain enough information to ask her on a date. Completely casting this aside, the real problem lies within his treatment of the women in his life. He holds a hypocritical standpoint on heartbreak, not understanding Knives’ out of character behaviour post their relationship. At the same time, he can hardly stand to be in the same room as his ex, who ‘stomped on his heart’. Chill out drama king, you should know more than anyone else the pitfalls of the heart. Scott’s one redeeming moment comes in the final battle, which he first attempts to fight with the metaphorical “sword of love” which he gets from Ramona (is that a euphemism?). With this weapon he loses spectacularly, and only wins the battle when he gains the “sword of self-respect”, a good lesson for anyone. Though even this says more about the relationship that he works on with himself, at the expense of the women who lift him up to get him there. In the immortal words of Kim Pine “Scott if your life had a face, I would punch it.”

An alternate ending was filmed in which Ramona decides to explore who she would be single, probably for the best my gal.

Goblin Line:

Kim: Where's Knives? Not coming tonight?

Scott: No, we broke up. Hey, check it out. I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy II.

Kim: Scott, you are the salt of the Earth.

Scott: Oh, thanks.

Kim: I meant, "Scum of the Earth."

Scott: Thanks.

My intention in the exploration of the Depression Goblin Nightmare Man is not to insult or attack, but to educate and give these characters the same level of scrutiny as their female counterparts. It does not mean that these are bad films, or even bad characters, it means simply that we need to address male film leads for their problematic points. It also means, maybe give the Manic Pixie Dream Girl a break, she’s probably tired. I know I am. Let’s just take the good with the bad, the small smiles from soft boys, with the misplaced arrogance that seems to always come along behind it. Or, you can ignore everything I wrote and just enjoy the film.