The Budding Relationship Between Sam and Diane

With Diane joining the staff at Cheers at the end of the pilot episode, we are still getting to know the characters. Episode 2, titled “Sam’s Women,” helps establish Sam as a careless playboy who runs around with beautiful women. Diane challenges him in this episode, believing he could do better.

It becomes clear right from the outset that there is some sexual tension between Sam and Diane. While they both find themselves angry with each other, they are challenging the other’s assumptions, and they both, in spite of themselves, find that intriguing.

But the reason this episode standouts out to me on rewatch is the secondary story about Leo, who has flown to Boston all the way from Seattle to talk to Gus, the former owner of the bar, about his son, who has come home from college with a Black fiancé, who just so happens to be a man, which is revealed as a bit of a surprise later in the episode.

It was pretty rare to discuss a homosexual relationship on a sitcom in 1982, and Cheers was at the forefront of this conversation. It’s not the driving force of the plot, but it takes up a fair amount of space in the episode. I found it striking that Leo refers to his son’s partner as his fiancé, more than 20 years before Massachusetts became the first state in the United States to legalize gay marriage.

The show’s discussion of the relationship does come off as a bit dated, as the interracial relationship initially thought to be the “problem” would likely not be presented as such in a lighthearted comedy today. And Coach’s actual advice -- that Leo tell his son he never wants to see him again -- is of course something that would not be suggested on television today. But it leads Leo to the natural conclusion that he has to accept his son for who he is.

It was a pleasant surprise to me that Cheers decided to take this decidedly progressive stance so early in its run.

Cheers is available to stream on Hulu, Paramount Plus and Peacock Plus.

A VERY DETAILED PLOT SYNOPSIS

OPEN

Diane carries a loaded tray to the table up the stairs by the door and distributes all the drinks to her customers. A gentleman sitting at a nearby table states, “Those are our drinks.”

Diane apologizes, then asks if they can save her a few steps, and the parties just get up and switch tables, much to the amusement of Coach, Sam and Carla.

SCENE 1

Norm enters and orders a beer and has some banter with Carla about her kids.

“Two of them are ugly, one is obnoxious, and one’s just stupid,” says Carla. “He’s my favorite.”

A stressed out man, Leo, enters the bar and asks Coach to get Gus. Coach doesn’t know who Gus is, but the man insists. Norm doesn’t know who he is either.

“Gus, the owner of this bar,” Leo says.

Norm says that was two owners ago Leo says he came all the way from Seattle to talk to him.

“You’ve got troubles, you take them to Gus, he straightens you out, just like that,” he says.

Coach says he’s spent a lot of years as a Coach and a bartender listening to people’s problems, and he’d be happy to listen.

“Last semester my son comes home from college with his new fiancé, who is Black,” Leo says.

“And your son is not?” asks Coach.

Leo, who is white, looks at Coach incredulously.

Norm gets Coach’s attention and tells him to get Gus. Coach says he’ll make some calls.

Norm then sees a woman’s legs outside up the stairs.

“If those legs are attached to anything, even a truck, I’m going to marry it,” he says.

When she starts coming down the stairs the whole bar buzzes with anticipation.

“I don’t believe this,” says Diane. “I feel like I’ve been transported in time back to a fraternity house in the ‘50s. Come on guys, in this day in age, aren’t we a little bit beyond ogling women?”

Brandee, a blonde bombshell, walks in and even Diane is blown away.

“Excuse me, miss,” says Carla as Brandee sits down at the bar. “The gentlemen at the end of the bar would like to buy you an automobile.”

Brandee orders a glass of white wine then pulls out a cigarette and Norm runs down to the other end of the bar to light it for her. He then tries to put the lighter back into his jacket pocket while it’s still lit, singeing his finger.

Carla tells a pair of men at a table near the back of the bar not to get their hopes up.

“As soon as Sam comes out here, it’s dinner for two at his place,” she says, using air quotes around the word dinner.

Diane doesn’t believe that Brandee would be the type of woman Sam would be interested in.

“She may not be flashy enough for Sammy,” says Norm.

“They had Sammy in mind when they built her,” says Carla.

Diane still doesn’t believe them, saying while she has only worked at Cheers a short time, that Sam has more depth to him than that.

Carla knocks on Sam’s office door, and Sam comes out, annoyed.

“Carla, never disturb me,” he says, then sees Brandee at the bar. “Unless there’s a customer.” He makes his way behind the bar and takes the glass of wine that Coach has served her and tells her not to drink that, and gives her another glass instead.

“I think you’re going to like this,” he says. “It’s an amusing little wine. Do you like to laugh?”

“I love to laugh, how did you know?” Brandee asks with a smile.

“The great ones make it look so easy,” Norm tells Diane, who is clearly appalled to see Sam flirting with Brandee.

“Do you think there’s a chance that you and I could go someplace and laugh together?” Sam asks.

“My mother told me to watch out for guys in bars,” she says.

“Well then let’s get out of this bar so you don’t have to worry,” Sam says.

Brandee says she would like to see a movie, and Sam suggests that they see “something short.”

“Oh,” says Diane, clearly disgusted and loud enough to draw Sam’s attention.

Sam asks the bar if anyone knows of any good movies, and Norm suggests a new Australian film.

“No, no Australian films,” Brandee says. “I hate subtitles.”

Diane laughs, then replies, “This one’s no problem, it’s dubbed.”

Sam asks Diane if he can talk to her back in the pool room.

“What’s your name?” Sam asks before leaving to talk to Diane.

“Brandee, with two ‘Es,” she says, which causes Diane to laugh again as she walks back to the pool room.

Cliff and another bar patron, wearing a Somerville Alumni t-shirt, are playing pool when Sam comes back to talk to Diane and wants to know why she was laughing at Brandee. Cliff asks Diane to get a couple of beers and she goes to get them, but Sam stops her. She says she didn’t mean anything by her laughter, and Sam says he gets the impression that she doesn’t approve of Brandee.

“You know, I may just be the dim ex-baseball player and you’re the post-graduate,” says Sam. “But I’m the boss and I didn’t hire you as a critic. I hired you as a waitress.”

“You’d never know it by me,” says Cliff.

“Beer,” says Cliff’s buddy. “With two ‘Es.’”

Sam asks Diane to be honest and tell Sam that she thinks Brandee is dumb.

“I don’t know that I think that,” says Diane.

“Oh Diane, she’s a tree stump,” says Sam.

Diane admits that “she’ll have to do until dumb comes along,”

“She’s a total airhead,” says Sam. “Incredible body, no mind, right?”

This piques Cliff’s attention.

“To you, Brandee’s just a one-night woman, built for cheap laughs, wild times, and easy sex,” says Sam.

“Where? Where?” says the Somerville alum.

Carly comes back to let Sam know that Brandee is getting a little “utsy,” and shimmies her shoulders.

“Get her out of there, Sam,” says Carla. “The customers are warping the wood with their drool.”

Cliff and his buddy then drop their pool cues and race to the bar to get their eyes on Brandee.

Diane says that she thinks that Sam can do better than Brandee, and Sam insists that he doesn’t want to.

“I like fun women,” says Sam. “Hot dogs, game shows. And I don’t care what anybody says about it.”

“Did you read that they found rat parts in hot dogs?” Diane asks.

“I like rat parts,” insists Sam. “It’s my favorite part of the hot dog.”

Sam, annoyed by Diane’s disapproval, goes back to the front of the bar to take Brandee out, only to find out that she has left with another man.

“If I see one sign that you’re enjoying this you’re in a lot of trouble,” Sam tells Diane. She cautiously orders a couple of beers for the boys in the pool room, and every time Sam turns his attention away from her, she displays a big smile.

[EXTERIOR SHOT OF THE BAR]

SCENE 2

Leo returns and asks Coach if he was able to connect with Gus.

“He can’t drop by tonight,” Coach says. “He’s dead.”

Leo is clearly distressed. “Gus had all the answers,” he says.

“All but one,” quips Carla.

“What am I going to do without Gus?” Leo asks.

Coach says he’s fed up with Leo’s obsession with Gus.

“I’m taking you on, Leo,” says Coach. “You and all your problems.” He orders Leo to sit down and tell Coach what the problem is.

“Last semester, my son comes home from college with his new fiancé, who is Black,” says Leo.

“I’ve been thinking about that,” interrupts Coach. “And it’s a tough one, but I think I’ve got it.”

“Wait a minute, because there’s more you see,” says Leo.

“Leo, Leo, it’s a problem of communication,” says Coach. “Here’s what you do. When you get home, you sit the kids down, and you say to your boy, what’s your boy’s name?”

“Ron,” says Leo.

“Ron. What’s Ron’s fiancé’s name?”

“Rick.”

“Rick. You say, Rick, Ron,” says Coach. “Rick and Ron?”

Coach now realizes that Leo came for advice on a completely different subject than he was anticipating. Coach puts his hand on his forehead, now trying to find the right words to help Leo out, and Norm, Cliff and the rest of the bar give him some encouragement.

“Leo, if you’re that unhappy about it, just throw him out and tell him you never want to see him again,” says Coach.

“I can’t do that, I love the kid,” says Leo, who suddenly finds meaning in Coach’s words. “I see what you’re saying. If I can’t accept the kid the way he is, I’ll lose him.”

“Boy, that’s good,” says Coach.

“When you put it that way, what choice do I have?” asks Leo. “Thanks Coach. You know, you’re not Gus, but you’re not bad.”

“Leo, even Gus isn’t Gus anymore,” says Coach.

Leo leaves the bar, happy with the advice he got, and the bar cheers on Coach.

“Coach, where’s Sammy?” asks Cliff, changing the subject.

“Where else?” asks Coach. Cliff says that he’s been out with a different beautiful woman every night that week.

“He’s overcompensating for feelings of inadequacy with an ostentatious display of hormonal activity,” says Diane.

“That’s our Sammy!” says Norm.

Carla then outlines all the drawbacks of dating beautiful women. You can’t eat Italian because they’re always on diets, and you can’t go to hockey games because they might get hit in the face with the puck. “Where’s the fun?” she asks.

“Carla,” says Coach. “The fun is in the fun.”

“Ah yes,” says Diane. “Unlimited sex. The adult male’s version of owning a candy store. But tell me, once you’ve consumed as much sex for as long as you wanted, what would you do then.”

After a long pause, Norm chimes in. “I’d help the poor.”

Sam walks in with Debra, a brunette, and Sam introduces her to Diane. She orders a “very dry martini.”

“That’s a very classy order,” says Sam, who is clearly trying to impress Diane with his date’s intelligence.

Sam says they just got back from Symphony Hall, where they heard Mozart’s Symphony No. 41.

“Sometimes known as the Jupiter Symphony,” says Debra.

“What was that comment you made at intermission?” asks Sam.

“Give me a cigarette?” she asks.

“No, the smart one, about the music,” Sam says.

“Oh, yeah, I said it’s hard to believe that all that music could come out of one man’s head,” Debra says.

“One man’s head,” Sam says to Diane.

“Where else would it come out of?” asks Coach.

“You know I read in the program that Mozart died when he was 35,” says Debra. “Imagine writing all that music before you’re 35!”

“Slow down, Debra,” says Sam. “You’re giving us too much to think about.”

Debra says that she has to be going, and Diane goes to the table where she and Sam were sitting and picks up the program from the show to give back to her, then sees the date.

“This program is two years old,” she says.

“Well Mozart must have been 37 years old when he died,” says Debra.

“I didn’t say we came straight from the concert,” says Sam.

“Okay, okay,” says Debra. “We went to see Star Wars again, and I’m glad.” She gives Sam a kiss on her way out, then asks him, “How’d I do?”

After Debra leaves, Sam goes back to the pool room, and Diane asks Carla if Sam has ever had a lasting relationship with a really intelligent woman.

“That’s the best I’ve seen,” says Carla.

“What about his ex-wife?” asks Diane.

“That was his ex-wife,” says Carla.

Diane goes back to the pool room to talk to Sam.

“I think I know why you brought Debra here,” says Diane. “You’re trying to prove that you date smart women.”

Sam angrily insists he brought Debra to Cheers for a drink.

“I sense that you’re a little unhappy right now,” says Diane.

“I’m not unhappy,” says Sam. “I’m on top of the world. What a life I lead! Tomorrow night I’m going out with a girl who wears a pinwheel hat.”

Diane asks why Sam is so upset. Sam says he has gone out with all the women he really enjoyed going out with in the past that week, and all he can think about is how stupid they are.

“My life isn’t fun anymore. And it’s because of you,” says Sam. “You’re a snob.”

“Well you’re a rapidly aging adolescent,” says Diane, taking offense. “Sam, do yourself a favor; go back to your tootsies and your rat parts. I would hate to see the bowling alleys close on my account.”

“Are you saying that I’m too dumb to date smart women?” Sam asks.

“A really intelligent woman would see your line of BS a mile away,” Diane says.

“I’ve never met an intelligent woman that I’d want to date,” says Sam.

“On behalf of the intelligent women around the world, may I just say, ‘whew,’” says Diane, and she walks back into the main part of the bar.

After a brief conversation about whale intestines between Norm, Cliff and Coach (see the Clavinism at the end of the article), Diane comes to the bar with an order for Sam.

Sam apologizes for the things he said, explaining that he was upset. Diane also apologizes.

“We both got a little carried away,” says Diane. “Especially you.” The two share a laugh.

Sam then says that he just noticed Diane’s eyes, saying he’d never seen eyes that color before.

“Matter of fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen that color,” says Sam. “Yes I have, yes I have.”

“Where?” asks Diane.

“I was on a ski weekend up at Stowe,” says Sam. “I was coming in late one day, last person off the slope, the sun had just gone down. The sky became this incredible color. I usually don’t notice things like that, and I found myself kind of walking around in the cold, hoping that it wouldn’t change, wishing that I had somebody there to share it with. Afterwards I tried to convince myself that I had imagined that color, that I hadn’t really seen it. Nothing on this Earth could be that beautiful. Now I see I was wrong.”

There’s a long pause, and Diane is transfixed.

“Wouldn’t work, huh?” says Sam, sipping his coffee.

“What?” asks Diane.

“An intelligent woman would see right through that,” says Sam.

“Oh,” says Diane, the spell broken. “In a minute.”

NORMISMS

Coach: “Beer Norman?”

Norm: “I’ve heard of that stuff. Give me a tall one in case I like it.”

On-Screen Pours for Norm: 2

CLAVINISM

“You take your average whale’s intestines and you stretch them out? You’re looking at three miles and change.”

GUEST STARS OF NOTE

Keenan Wayans plays the gentlemen in the open who points out to Diane that she delivered the drinks to the wrong table in the open.

LINE OF THE EPISODE

Coach, to Brandee after she tells Sam her name: “Brandee with two ‘E’s?” She nods. He looks down at a bottle of brandy. “A big company like this and they spelled it wrong.”