'South Park' Doubles Down on Domestic Violence

In case you missed it, in their last episode, South Park addressed the relationship between Cartman and Heidi. While we've seen snippets of Cartman's abuse toward her throughout the season, this episode really doubled down and went heavy on what abuse can look like.

Now before I begin to look back on previous examples of Cartman's abusive tendencies towards Heidi, I'd like to briefly discuss a few interesting points related to these characters themselves. Cartman has always been known to be manipulative, deceitful, selfish, self-serving, prides himself on being able to provoke reactions from his fellow peers, and seems to have no clear cut boundaries when it comes to rationalizing his hurtful or destructive behaviors. One could even go as far as to argue that Cartman exhibits certain predatory behaviors in the way he seems to hone in on a situation that would allow him the opportunity to take advantage of a person, or system—let us not forget the entire reason he befriended Heidi and began to date her was because he was on a quest to prove that women are funny. In Cartman's eyes, likely due to how he was raised, everything he does is justified and that includes his bad behaviors; let us not forget that even in the rare occasions where it seems like for once Cartman might just have to face consequences, he manages to find a way to work within the system to weasel himself out of an otherwise tight spot.

In the most recent episode titled "Doubling Down," we hear Heidi herself admit that Cartman came into her life during a very difficult time in her life. For those of you not familiar with the show, the friendship between Cartman and Heidi began shortly after she'd been harassed by an online troll which led her to delete her social media, which in turn left her in friendless state. As they are both now excluded from social media—and in a larger context, society as a whole—they begin to grow close, relying on each other for company and support. During this time, Cartman's behavior is at its best. He is considerate, open to her ideas, and filled with praise about how "smart and funny" his new girlfriend happens to be. For those not familiar with his character, it would be easy to believe that he is actively attempting to make a change for the better, but that idea begins to fall apart as the 20th season progresses. When Kyle comes to Cartman asking for "the old Cartman" back, implying his knowledge that these changes are not genuine, he counteracts by accusing Kyle of being threatened of strong women such as Heidi. This in turn causes Heidi to jump into the conversation as she quickly apologizes on behalf of Cartman, and reminds Kyle that they both have chosen to take themselves out of the equation, effectively isolating them both.

As Heidi begins to really flourish toward the end of Season 20, gaining the attention and praise of other boys—from Kyle and Butters commenting on how intelligent she can be, and even Elon Musk who offers her an opportunity to crack a way to get to Mars faster—we see Cartman begin to view Heidi differently. Suddenly her intelligence is not something to be admired, but feared. This leads Cartman to the only logical solution, which is to create a plan that would cause the SpaceX building to explode—expertly sabotaging a project that he was well aware was important to her, which will not only permanently delete all of the internet's history, including the many insulting remarks he's made about women in the past, but also ensure that he remains in a position of power in the relationship.

As a throwback, let's discuss some of the more recent acts of abuse prior to this episode:

Cartman is shown to be visibly annoyed when Heidi focuses her attention on something that isn't directly related to him or something he cares about (i.e. Heidi trying to solve the rocket problem).

At the beginning of Season 21, we know right off the bat that Cartman has grown tired of Heidi—as soon as she enters the room, his mood and tone visibly change, and when she tries to address his attitude, he turns it on her and proceeds to blame her for making his friends leave because she came in and "bitched him out" in front of all the guys. While Heidi started her relationship with Cartman in a place where she was more submissive to him and his ideas, we begin to see how she is also beginning to grow tired of his inability to talk about his feelings or their problems. Cartman's need for power and control is shown in this episode through the relationship he has with Alexa. At one point, he even makes Alexa define the word "subservient" only to interrupt the voice with a threatening point and an "Alexa, Silence!" a peaceful comfort sweeping over him as he falls asleep.

The episode continues to play out in much of the same way, with Cartman expecting Heidi to accept his behaviors as they are, even going as far as trying to silence her in the same way he'd previously done with Alexa. While Heidi spends the episode actively trying to work out her issues with Cartman so the two of them can have a better relationship, he meets her attempts by apologizing in the hopes that it'll get her to stop or mocking her in an immature fashion. Before long, we see Heidi at his door. This time it's her who has come to apologize, but in contrast to Cartman's apology, this one is heartfelt and honest, if not heartbreaking, considering she says the following to his mother:

"Could you just tell him that I want to make him happy? That I was wrong to say a relationship is 50/50. It's 100/100. And I'll start putting in a hundred percent every day. Could you tell him I'm gonna try a lot harder?"

Eventually, Cartman decides to break up with Heidi but not before framing their relationship in a way that places her at the helm of the abuse, and reinforcing that she's the one who has caused this to happen. Naturally, Heidi is left stunned, confused, and desolate.

In the episode immediately following this one, Cartman leaves Heidi a voicemail in which he threatens suicide if she does not take him back. Concerned for his well being, Heidi gets back together with Cartman despite him having left her perplexed and brokenhearted merely an episode earlier.

In the Halloween episode, Cartman proceeds to actively work toward "ridding himself of Heidi" through a series of overly-complicated ideas, eventually tricking her into following him into the woods, only to abandon her there in the hopes that she will ultimately die. Let's be clear, this level of hatred toward Heidi was triggered by the simple fact that she had taken too long to get ready to go to the pumpkin patch, and by the time they arrived, there was a very limited selection of activities and pumpkins. In his mind, the fact that she made him miss something he'd been so eager to do meant that she had to be punished in some way so she learns not to do it again. The same could be said of his previous break-up with her.

Now on to the latest episode!

Essentially, Heidi attempts to break things off with Cartman, who in turn is a sobbing mess who is pleading with her to take him back; after all, his bad behaviors are not his fault, but his mother's—a woman—for feeding him junk food which messes with his blood sugar and thus makes him act the way he does (this leads Cartman to let loose a series of insults aimed at his mother). Heidi opts to give him another chance, but only if he makes an attempt at going vegan in the hopes that addressing his nutritional issues will make his behavior and attitude improve, which Cartman enthusiastically agrees to and eagerly makes promises about how things are going to change.

This is a common tactic we see time and again in abusive relationships, where the abuser will make excuses that allow them to escape taking responsibility. Since, in most cases, the survivor wants the abuse to stop—not the relationship—they will go the extra step to try and address the issue they think is causing the abuse (alcohol, stress, physical/mental illness, childhood trauma, poor nutrition, etc) which the abuser will typically agree to, but rarely follow up with.

We then see Cartman, surrounded by his male companions at the lunch table, where he begins to complain about how Heidi has returned to her controlling and manipulative ways. Again, we see another tactic of abuse at play here which is when an abuser will try and tarnish the image of the survivor in the eyes of the community, at times even going as far as trying to frame themselves as the victim in the situation in the hopes of gaining sympathy. All of this will only make it more difficult for a survivor to break away from their partner—how can you when you feel like they're all you have left?

In fact, isolation is addressed a few times during this episode in a number of ways:

Heidi choosing to continue her relationship with Cartman has caused a rift with her female friends who do nothing but constantly question her relationship, and at times go as far as to imply that she's dumb for being with someone like Cartman. Later in the episode, once she has ended things with Cartman, the girls throw her a celebratory dinner that quickly turns into a slew of insults about her intelligence and a chorus of "I told you so."

While Kyle—likely due to his characterization as the "nice-guy savior"—makes it a point to stick by Heidi to provide her with support and encouragement despite it not always being the easiest choice, that's not always the case in real life. In many cases, survivors ultimately end up losing even the closest of friends and family who have either gotten tired of hearing the stories of abuse and are likely frustrated by the feeling that their advice goes unheard, or have been driven away by the abuser and their behaviors toward the survivor or the family/friends.

Throughout the episode, we see Heidi defend not only her relationship, but Cartman as a whole, and when Kyle attempts to confront her about it, she snaps back with, "You don't know what he's like when we're alone."

Cartman not only puts Heidi down, but since he is well aware that she cares about how she looks, he uses this to his advantage. After tricking Heidi into eating KFC (which results in Heidi having stomach cramps, an issue that Cartman does not even give a second thought to, because he is getting what he wants—his food and his girl), he begins to comment on her weight to others behind her back, even going as far as carrying a drum and beating it in tune to the movement of Heidi's feet. This is a way to humiliate and mock Heidi in front of their peers with the added benefit of knowing that if anyone were to try and let her know what he was doing behind her back, she'd likely only make an excuse for it, or attempt to defend his behavior.

While Heidi seems happier overall and begins to try and move forward in a healthier relationship with Kyle, her progress takes a big step back during her celebratory dinner. After being berated for her senselessness and foolishness, we see Heidi meeting up with Cartman at a park bench, where it's implied that they took up a conversation. The next time we see Heidi, she is at Kyle's house and while he was expecting them to go for a date, he is taken aback when Heidi instead launches into a speech that essentially boils down to her blaming Kyle's Jewish ancestry for being manipulative and "sneaky," and closes with:

"I'm sorry, Kyle. Everybody's trying to live life the best they can. It's hard enough without your people trying to get ahead."

The speech feels out of character for someone who the audience has come to know as a kind and empathetic individual. The speech alone rings heavily of Cartman's past comments of Kyle, especially that last sentence.

In a state of shock, Kyle looks out his window, to see that Cartman had been standing outside waiting for her, and when she returns, he wraps an arm around her, shooting Kyle one last victorious smirk. After all, that's what abusers always want—they want to win, and will stop at nothing to do so.