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Someone Who Fakes It 'Til He Makes It

by Monique Star 3 years ago in fan fiction
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Will Roman be believed if he wasn't flawless.

Even though they never explicitly admitted it, the Light Sides could agree that Deceit was able to contribute in ways that could help Thomas. Maybe that was why Roman felt it would be a good idea to hang out with Deceit every now and then. On the other hand, maybe it had something to do with them bonding over a love for theatre and a habit of lying. What has Roman lied about? Simply his insecurities of living up to Thomas's expectations and being the brave, strong Prince Thomas wanted to be. Deceit knew that Roman was suffering and was actually low-key amazed by the fact that the Prince was hurting so much and still seemed to stand so strong. Unfortunately, whenever Deceit complimented Roman as of recent, Roman never looked at his eyes, so he never seemed to believe the snake man nor did he seem to care.

The two were in the Imagination and Roman was rambling his emotions again.

"I mean, all it took for Thomas and the rest of us to recognize Patton's sorrow was Virgil nearly breaking down and me thinking Thomas actually wanted his ex back for more than just the memories. If that's the case, I wonder what disaster would bring my fears to light," he concluded jokingly.

"You need me to get your brother off his leash?" Deceit asked.

"Keep your kinks in the bedroom and don't harm the other Sides or I'm summoning a bunch of squirrels your way," Roman responded.

Deceit shivered at the thought of being bombarded by squirrels and just lied down on the ground next to Roman. Considering a majority of his life consisted of cold, darkness, planning, and watching the Light Side of the mind from afar, Deceit didn't consider himself to be the best at being loving or comforting. Even though the snake wasn't like Patton, Roman was just glad to be comforted by someone who understood that the Prince had some human flaws and fears.

"Do you think Thomas would recognize me if I let my guard down?" Roman asked.

"To be frank, I'm not so sure. However, we can try a test to be sure. I'll even let you bring us to him," Deceit mentioned.

Roman was still lying on the ground when he saw Deceit sit up and turn into a spitting image of himself. Roman was surprised since he expected Deceit to half-ass his attempts again with Roman's old outfit.

"You even copied the new duds?" Roman asked.

"Of course. This isn't about wanting to bypass Thomas's security in order to be acknowledged in a group discussion, this time; it's about seeing if Thomas would accept you as a human or as a cookie cutter mold," the doppelganger declared.

They both sat up at different paces and Roman snapped his fingers. They found Thomas watching bloopers of The Office until Roman cleared his throat. Thomas looked up and jumped back in shock before pausing the bloopers. Before him were two Romans that looked exactly the same and, though the outfits were the same, Thomas knew one of them had to be Deceit. Thomas stood up and kept his distance while trying to observe them. The two Romans looked at each other as they were waiting to see what Thomas would actually say.

"Umm, how do you see yourselves?" Thomas asked.

"Easy, the courageous of them all," one Roman declared with the signature cockiness.

"Uh, someone who fakes it 'til he makes it," the other Roman answered, while rubbing the back of his neck and looking down.

Based on answers alone, the former seemed more like the Roman Thomas was familiar with, so the carrot hater ran up to the former Roman and hugged him to declare his answer. The latter Roman felt hurt, anger, and betrayal, but he was just glad the former Roman didn't hug back for the sake of rubbing it in.

"Fine! Don't expect me to turn to you anymore!" he declared while sinking out.

Thomas took in the words before looking at the Roman he was hugging, but by the time he fully acknowledged that he chose the wrong one and the real Roman needed help, the Prince was already gone. He pulled away and saw the pauper turn into his normal snake man form. He didn't have the gleam in his eyes that would mean he was planning something sinister, but rather a stare anger aimed directly at the clueless gay. The angry eyes turned into that familiar snake yellow before he said,"I had such low hopes for you of all people" in a disappointed tone, before vanishing.

Thomas thought back to what had happened and what Deceit meant. Why did he have to believe the real Roman wasn't the one who was clearly struggling? Why couldn't he have helped the Prince when he had the chance? Why did he screw up? He turned off his laptop since he was no longer in the mood for bloopers of The Office and sent a message to some friends about a project he wanted to work on.

For several hours, Roman stared at himself in his bedroom mirror, silently wishing he could be better for everyone. Deceit appeared behind him and Roman noticed his eyes were brown.

"How are you feeling?" he asked gently, knowing Roman wasn't in the mood for bullshit.

"Nothing related to happy, that's for sure," the Prince retorted.

"For someone who has a diverse array of friends in his social circle, I actually expected him to choose you."

"You didn't over-exaggerate more than I usually do, plus Disney princes don't always show internal conflict."

"The franchises have been evolving, you know."

"The point is, even if he—well, if they all—did a better job at deciding what to ask, you would still be the ultimate chose because no one is used to me letting my guard down!"

Roman shoved the mirror down and slammed it broken. He started to pull his hair in frustration, but he felt gloved hands pull his own hands away from his head.

"Too many Sides have resorted to self-destructive habits already. Don't escalate it!" Deceit warned in reference to the overworking and repression and pretending to be okay he could sense from the other Light Sides.

Roman became more convinced that Deceit genuinely cared about him, but it only made him feel a little bit better. After several hours of Deceit comforting Roman to the best of his abilities, they heard a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Roman called out.

"Kiddo, it's me," a voice retorted.

Deceit vanished, but not before promising to keep his eye on Roman in case something happens. Roman walked to the door and saw Patton an oversized version of his shirt from the merch store as pajamas.

"Did you need something, Padre?" Roman asked.

"Well, Thomas was working on a project and he couldn't think of a better judge for it than you," Patton nervously claimed.

"Can't he get himself to do it? Maybe Virgil or Logan can force him into perfectionism. Or better yet, maybe a prince less likely to let him down," Roman suggested.

"Okay, I know you're upset. This is why he wanted us to get you when he fell asleep. Can't you look over it to see if he needs to improve and maybe leave a note for him?" Patton asked, with irresistible puppy dog eyes.

Roman knew he couldn't say "no" to the puppy dog eyes, so he snapped his fingers and found himself in Thomas's dimly-lit living room. He looked around for a little while until he saw what looked a giant Funko Pop figure of himself with some black-and-blue blotches on the skin. Roman slowly approached it with awe and picked it up to reveal that it was a plush figure. He saw that other parts of the skin had black-and-blue blotches on it. He looked down at the table and realized that it was initially standing on a piece of paper. Roman grabbed the piece of paper and noticed some writing.

'As a prince of black and blue,

Strength and good never left you.

A prince with no flaws

Are just bland by laws

To say you're bland is not true.

We know more that you have fear

That limits will drive away a peer

We just want to say

Please don't cry far away,

Because, for you, we'll always be here'

Something about the plush and the poem made Roman certain that everyone in his family chipped to do such a project for him. Maybe he still had doubts about being worth enough for everyone to put the project together for him, but at least he had a reason to talk to more than just Deceit about his troubles the following day.

fan fiction

About the author

Monique Star

I'm not the most sophisticated adult out there. I'm also not the best at communicating all the time, but I do try my best to get my thoughts out there into the world verbally or nonverbally.

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