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Samurai Cop Review [Minor Spoilers]

I had heard Samurai Cop was one of the most awesomely bad movies ever made. Did it live up to it's rep? Well...

By Paper StarshipPublished 7 years ago 3 min read
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SAMURAI COP

Level of insanity from 1 to 10? This one goes to 11.

When you think crazy B action movies, you think of the 80's and 90's, ninjas, big muscles, big guns, ditzy female characters, bad plot, and shoddy technical work. The 1991 film Samurai Cop captures every one of these aspects in spades; whether it's intentional or not is up for debate.

We're told about a gang called The Katana Gang early on, and are informed that they're some seriously bad dudes. So the L.A.P.D has called ultra badass cop Joe Marshall from the San Diego to take out the trash. He's teamed up with a black cop named Frank and it becomes a Lethal Weapon rip-off very early on. The acting is astoundingly horrible, and so is the action. I don't think I've seen a movie with sooo many off-screen deaths. The recycled kills and stock footage too is just... Wow.

Sure I could nitpick every scene of this movie, but it's a movie titled Samurai Cop; I'd be a fool to expect something good, but I didn't think coherent was too much to ask for. I understood the kindergarten plot that was laid out in about one minute, but there are so many filler scenes that are random it makes you forget what the characters are even supposed to be doing.There are long stretches of these like softcore porn scenes between Joe and whoever. It felt like I was watching the brainchild of Bloodfist 2050. I can’t lie though, I was holding my sides in laughter a number of times during this flick.

One last gripe though; for a movie titled Samurai Cop, that makes such a big deal about the main character being nicknamed Samurai, and how he speaks fluent Japanese, he uses a samurai sword twice in the whole movie (not even his own sword) and never speaks a word of Japanese. Hell, he can barely pronounce Fujiyamas’ name.

“ Are you Fuji…Fujiyama?” – Joe Marshall

I can’t blame Matt Hannon, that’s the director's fault for using takes like that where characters trip over their words and its so obvious it belongs on the blooper reel, and I’m sure they probably couldn’t do more takes. Maybe that’s what Samurai Cop actually is; a blooper reel movie.

Never mind the fact that almost every female in this movie was probably starring in a soft core porn before this...or during this; with the amount of awkward flirting scenes to a female doctor flat out asking Joe if he wants to f**k her. No joke.

The action scenes here are the stuff of legend though. Oh my god it is so cheesetastic. Fake limbs being chopped off. Really bad blood effects, and guys just not selling moves at all, but that’s what is so entertaining about this movie also.

I love when old awesomely bad movies gain a cult following. Movies like The Room, Miami Connection, and Samurai Cop are the modern version of Rocky Horror in terms of group viewings to rip on the movie with fellow movie fans to bond and endulge in the guilty pleasure of watching terrible movies like these.

Would I recommend this movie?

HELL YEAH!!!!!!

Yes, the movie is god awful, but it was fun and enjoyably bad. I'd rather watch a horrible movie that's entertaining and makes me laugh than a well acted artsy movie that's going to leave me depressed and pondering philosophical questions. If you like movies like Predator, Roadhouse, or Commando, Samurai Cop will be right in your wheelhouse.

Oh and to answer the question of if this movie is intentionally or unintentionally bad...

I STILL DONT KNOW. :)

8/10

Interestingly, Samurai Cop 2 was made last year as it gained enough of a cult following to finance a second film. Matt Gannon returns as Joe Marshall and I’ve heard Tommy Wiseau (The Room) is in it as well. This may be the holygrail of bad movies. One way to find out. Wish me luck.

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About the Creator

Paper Starship

I've moved on to making YT vids but this is a nice old treasure trove and example of process an iteration. These reviews are terrible from a structural and tonal perspective, but they're a reminder of how far I've come content wise since.

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