Remus Rewind

Warnings: Swears, murder plot, murder, referenced nudity (inspired by the above video)

In a modern kingdom of Diversite, in the massive fortress known as Shadow Corner, the villainous sorcerer Remus and his allies, Devin and Virgil, surrounded a steaming magical cauldron.

Remus: Hahaha! Prince Roman might be the strongest knight in the kingdom now, but what if we used this concoction to travel back in time and kill his mother before he's born?

Remus laughs hard enough that he pukes before turning to his allies for a reaction. Virgil and Devin looked at each other before looking at Remus.

Devin: *agitated* Would our input really make a difference?

Remus: *thinks for a little while* You're right. We're basically traveling back in time to kill Prince Roman's mother and I don't give a shit what you have to say. *dives headfirst into the cauldron*

Devin and Virgil looked as Remus disappeared in the cauldron. They looked at each other unamused since Remus's initial plots to take out Prince Roman and take over the kingdom have failed many times before.

Devin: So, how long do you think it'll be before he comes back defeated and using us as scapegoats?

Virgil: *shrugs* I say an hour at most. Maybe 15 minutes.

Devin: You wanna grab some hot wings while we wait?

In a flash, Remus arrived 23 years in the past and landed on his hands before he flipped onto his feet.

Remus: Haha! Perfect! This seems like the right spot! *looks down* Wait, did I lose some pubes on the way here? *looks all over his body and screams* No! My body has traveled back in time as well! *shouts* Devin! Virgil!

In the present, Devin and Virgil are at a restaurant having some wings and Devin looked like he was struggling.

Devin: *with a hot wing in his hand* They call these hot? I'm sure the Atomic won't be a better challenge for me! *eats the wing in his hand*

Virgil: I'd hate to break it to you, bud, but we ordered the Mild.

Devin: Bullshit "We ordered the Mild!" Mind if I drink your ranch?

Devin hastily grabbed the containers of ranch from Virgil's own portion of the order and drank from them.

Meanwhile in the past, Remus was dealing with his physical limitations.

Remus: This is terrible! How am I supposed to murder Prince Roman's mother now?

Once he was quiet long enough, Remus heard footsteps coming closer.

Remus: Ahh! I should at least make sure I don't stand out!

Remus grabbed a nearby cloth and wrapped it around himself as if he were a regular baby. He made whining noises until he saw a younger-looking King Kingsley above him. The king picked up the young Remus.

King Kingsley: Oh! Are you alright, little guy? You shouldn't be out here all alone.

King Kingsley strapped Remus to the back of his personal vehicle before he started to drive.

Remus: *muttering* What luck! King Kingsley will take me home to his wife! I'll smother her in her sleep and I'll be a hero... well, to myself.

A beeping noise sounded and King Kingsley slowed down to check his phone. After a few seconds, he put his phone away and kept both of his hands behind the wheel.

King Kingsley: Looks like we're going to have to make a quick detour. And, considering things are complicated, how about we keep this a secret from the queen, alright, little buddy?

King Kingsley drove the vehicle to a smaller house of stone where a person with darker skin, taller height, and longer hair was outside the door. King Kingsley rushed over to the person and muttered before kissing the person passionately.

Remus: So, King Kingsley has a piece on the side, huh? I mean, sure, who am I to judge? But, what if this bitch is Prince Roman's mother? No! This will not stand!

Remus unbuckled himself and operated the vehicle leading it to speed towards the pair. The long-haired person pushed the king out of the way which caused them to face the full impact of the vehicle and the king to hit his head on the wall dazed. Remus jumped from the seat and walked towards the corpse.

Remus: Well, let's see whose lights I knocked out.

Once Remus removed the hair from the person's face, he recognized the features of a certain someone whom he knew as bald for his whole life and knew was trans.

Remus: *in shock* Papa? B-but that means King Kingsley was... my birth father! Which means—*starts to vanish* Nooo! Avenge me, Devin! Avenge me! *completely disappears*

Back in the present, Virgil was annoyed at his messy and distressed companion, Devin, and their waiter, Ophelia, was trying to help them.

Ophelia: You need a wet wipe?

Devin: Wet wipe? What I don't need is a spell to get rid of my sticky scales to ease the burns!

Ophelia: First time eating buffalo wings?

Devin: So what if it is?