Ranking Buffy's Boyfriends

In 7 seasons our main hero had very few relationships. In fact we really only care about 2 of them but there were others and today we are ranking them from worst to best.

So obviously at the bottom of the Buffy romance list is Parker. I swear someone in a facebook group tried to make the argument that Parker wasn’t that bad and they better hope we never meet in person because they need a good high five in the face with a chair. Parker sucks. Parker is the guy we have all been through that truly ruins our self image and makes us question all of our life decisions. Parker is a garbage person. If you are like Parker please kindly consider jumping off a bridge. Parker is terrible.

Just above Parker comes Owen, he didn’t get a lot of screen time or time with Buffy. And he did end up just wanting to hunt vampires but that's still better than sleeping with her once and then dumping her. Plus he gets exactly 1 inch of leeway because high school boys suck anyway. Teenagers are dumb, he’s allowed to have a dumb dumb moment.

Slightly above Owen we get Scott. He was sweet and he really liked Buffy but this was also short lived because our girl was still a little traumatized about Angel. He however did nothing majorly wrong so he gets to sit comfortably in the middle.

Right in the middle here we have Riley. Now at the beginning Riley really isn’t that bad, he’s very sweet and he was normal adjacent . He’s not just an innocent farm boy but he also isn’t a vampire. He was as close to normal as Buffy was ever gonna get. Over the course of their relationship however he becomes very insecure over Buffy being way more badass than him and very very jealous. Also the letting vampires feed on him thing was ridiculous and then he tried to make it Buffy’s fault? They had to make us okay with him leaving so they made him truly terrible.

Okay this one is my personal favorite but I can’t in good conscience put him at the top of the list for a few reasons, Spike. Spike is second place because well, he just is. I believe Buffy loved him, but she was never IN love with him. Then there was that time he tried to rape her…yes that was also the catalyst for him leaving and getting his soul back (very painfully). However that does not at all take away or fix the fact that it happened. So for those reasons he will always be second, but first in my heart.

Okay I think we all knew that Angel was going to be first. The actors have been very clear on their thoughts, that Angel and Buffy were the only true pairing. I agree. Angel did his fair share of breaking Buffy though and that’s why it's a bit of a toss up for me between him and Spike. Because Angelus aside, Angel kind of yanked Buffy around and that was fully with a soul. I just don’t think he was very considerate of her and he constantly tried to make decisions for her which I really hated. But that said I do acknowledge that they are each other's one true love.

The Buffy-Spike-Angel love triangle is one of the most iconic in all of television history and everyone has a side that they choose. But unfortunately this one isn’t a matter of opinion, the show itself states several times (all the way through the last episode) that Angel was the only one that Buffy truly loved. That said I still like Spike better but that's because he’s got a British accent and his speech to Buffy in Touched is unmatched by any other TV monologue.