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Pay Attention, 007

Trivia about the world's most famous spy

By Christopher DonovanPublished 3 years ago 11 min read
Top Story - February 2021
7

'No Time To Die' will not only mark the end of Daniel Craig's blockbusting run as 007, it will also be the 25th installment in the globe-trotting adventures of the world's favorite (not so) secret agent.

Furthermore, as 'lock-down' restrictions are announced, in addition to being able to watch Craig cause all sorts of mayhem on the big screen, we'll also soon be able to return to the pub. Which means we'll be able to participate in another British tradition - the pub quiz.

In honor of both of those things, here's 25 facts regarding the (quite frankly) ridiculous life of James Bond (let's be honest, there's always at least one question in every quiz about him):

1. What's in a Name?

Ian Fleming "wanted the simplest, dullest, plainest-sounding name" for 007. Purely by chance, he stumbled across a 1936 book called 'Birds Of The West Indies', and borrowed the author's name:"James Bond seemed perfect.” In a non-too subtle call-back, this is the very book that Pierce Brosnan is seen handling whilst in Cuba during (the unforgivably bad) 'Die Another Day.' (An invisible car? No. Just no.)

2. A British (not English) Spy

Despite the hullabaloo every-time a non-English actor is touted to play the role, James Bond isn't actually English. His father was Scottish, and his mother was Swiss, and, although educated at Eton, Bond himself was born in Germany, and raised in Scotland.

Bond's mongrel status has only been amplified by having been portrayed - officially - by two Englishmen, one Irishman, one Welshman, and an Australian.

(Unofficially, he's also been essayed by an American, and another Englishman, if you count David Niven in 1967's 'Casino Royale' - which no-one does: It's worse than 'Die Another Die').

3. I'll have a P, please, Bob

Delightfully, he's also been played by a South African. Namely, the host of British game-show Blockbusters, Bob Holness, who once voiced 007 in a radio drama.

4. Mixed Reviews

Ironically, Fleming wasn't initially overly impressed with the only genuine Scotsman who played the part; upon being cast, the author described Sean Connery as an "overdeveloped stunt man." Ouch.

5. Awkward...

In fact, it wasn't just Connery Fleming had an issue with; he hated everything about 'Dr. No' the first time he saw it. His response? "Dreadful. Simply dreadful." However, I'm pretty sure his view softened when - a few months later - he saw how much it was making at the box office.

6. A Different Kind of Baddie

However, as disappointed as Fleming was with the finished film, it could have been so, so much worse. An early draft of the script had the titular villain written as an evil monkey.

An. Evil. Monkey.

I love 'Dr. No' but I would pay a king's ransom to see that version.

7. The Thin White Duke

Likewise, much, much later, 'A View to a Kill' would have been very different if the producers, instead of choosing Christopher Walken, had been able to land their first choice for the role of the baddie, Max Zorin - David Bowie.

It wouldn't have been as weird as 007's nemesis being a simian, but weird nevertheless.

8. Hair Today...

Although Sean Connery's hairpieces got more ridiculous the longer his stint progressed, what is less known that he wore a toupee in EVERY outing as James Bond.

9. The Blunt Instrument

Fleming introduced the idea of the '00' (i.e. the licence to kill) in the very first novel, 'Casino Royale.' In the 2006 film version, this concept is developed, and Bond is assigned his '00' status after killing twice whilst on assignment. In the novel, Bond is 38 when he became a 00 agent. Weirdly, this is the same age Daniel Craig was in his debut in 'Casino Royale.'

10. Work Colleagues

And, as for the other 'oo's? Bear with me; this gets complicated.

001 never appears in any movie (though some argue that - technically - Bond's boss, M, holds this code-name - but this appears to be wild fanboy speculation.)

Meanwhile, 002 seems to be particularly unlucky: he dies twice - in 1974's 'The Man With The Golden Gun', and in 1987's 'The Living Daylights.'

003 doesn't fare much better - his frozen corpse is found by Bond at the beginning of 1985's 'A View to a Kill.'

Ditto for 004, who gets killed (again) in 'The Living Daylights' (which seemed to be a very unlucky film for any '00' who didn't have '7' in their name).

005 appears in the books but not the films (no great loss; he suffered an eye-injury, and got transferred to a desk in Greece, the dullard).

006 first appeared in 'Thunderball', but made a much bigger splash in Brosnan's debut, 'GoldenEye' when Sean Bean played the traitorous spy.

008 never appears in the films, in person, but he's the guy M is always threatening to replace 007 with on missions because "008 is good at following orders." Which means he's boring, and we're lucky Bond's boss is all talk.

009 is killed in 'Octopussy.' He's also name-checked in 'Spectre' - it's his Aston Martin Bond launches into the Tiber.

There's also a 0010, 0011, 0012, 0013...

All of whom are either double-agents or dead.

The upshot is that if you do manage to attain '00' status, the only number you should accept is '7.' All the others are cursed.

11. Money, Money, Money

One thing that isn't cursed is the franchise's takings at the box office. Adjusted for inflation, the 24 films released to date have grossed more than $14 billion in total.

12. Top of the Tree

The most successful is 'Skyfall', closely followed by 'Thunderball.' Both grossed over $1 billion each.

13. The Runt of the Litter

The least successful is 1989's 'Licence to Kill' with a feeble $280 million. Well, I say feeble...

14. Death. Death. And More Death

In the movies, Bond has made the most of his licence to kill, employing it over 380 times. His two most favored means of disposing of his foes are blowing them up (over 140 times), and - most simply - just shooting them (over 130 times). He's also drowned at least 3 people, and dropped over 20 villains from a great height.

15. Who's the Baddest?

Despite Daniel Craig being as hard as nails, 007's most bloodthirsty incarnation actually came in the shape Pierce Brosnan. Craig's Bond only averages 15 kills per movie, and is even outstripped by the cuddly Roger Moore, who worked his way through 17 baddies (on average) per film. Meanwhile, Brosnan offed - on average - an obscene 27 per outing.

I'm not saying Bond is a really bad secret agent, but - come on - he does appear to leave a bit of a bloody, corpse-ridden trail wherever he goes... he's hardly subtle...

16. Shaken, Stirred, Don't Care - Just Pour It

In addition to killing people, Bond likes a drink. On average, he has some booze every 24 minutes. That might go some way to explaining his overall lack of stealth.

In Fleming's novels, Bond also smoked 70 cigarettes a day. The results of his yearly physical must make for interesting reading.

17. And to Bed

After death, and alcohol, Bond's next favorite pursuit is sex. Roger Moore leads the way here: In 7 films, his 007 slept with 19 women. Keeping the British end up indeed... though I'm amazed he managed such a workload given his alcohol intake.

18. The Not So Fair Sex

However, the sex-part is a double-edge sword: Over 66% of the women 007 has slept with have also tried to kill him.

19. Wanderlust

In addition to drinking, women, and killing, James also likes to travel. To date, he's visited 111 destinations around the world. Not counting the UK, top of the list is Italy with 8 visits, closely followed by the US where he's been 7 times.

The 007 with most stamps in his passport is - again - Roger Moore who survived 30 deployments around the Globe (and also, let us not forget, one in space).

20. Mr. Bang, Bang

One of the most bizarre things about the Roger Moore period is that his agent was able to complete any missions at all. For, in real-life Moore suffered hoplophobia - a fear of firearms. Truly, the actor cast as the most most lethal secret agent was sacred of guns.

21. Taking it Easy

Not only that, he never ran. Roger Moore believed he had a strange, inelegant run, so in every scene in which his 007 had to sprint, a double stepped in to do the work for him.

22. Who Next?

The problems Fleming had with Connery weren't the last time casting was an issue. Despite being one of the most famous acting jobs on Earth, it's not a gig everyone wants.

Actors who’ve turned down the part include Liam Neeson, Sam Neil, Hugh Jackman, and Cary Grant. Clint Eastwood and Burt Reynolds also passed, believing oo7 had to be British.

Even the Bond's themselves seem to be ambivalent about the role.

Timothy Dalton was originally considered for the part following Sean Connery’s initial departure, but he removed from the process himself because, at the age of 25, he thought he was too young.

30 year-old George Lazenby then took the role.

And, once he actually had the part, he did one film, and acrimoniously left.

Connery came back for one last hurrah. But only for the money.

Then Roger Moore took over. And then spent the last few films moaning to the producers he was too old for the part, begging them to find someone else.

At least he didn't go as far as Daniel Craig; asked if he'd like to return to the role whilst promoting 'Skyfall', the current Bond said he'd rather slit his wrists.

23. More Villain-related Shenanigans

The casting strife isn't limited to 007. It's the baddies as well.

Heading back to 'Dr. No', after the whole-monkey farrago was rejected, the producers sought out one of the greatest purveyors of screen villainy - Christopher Lee. Despite being Ian Fleming’s cousin, and the Bond author's chosen casting option, Lee turned the part down.

Which probably made Christmas's a bit awkward.

However, Lee made up for this by later accepting the part of Scaramanga in 'The Man With The Golden Gun' - in which he was vanquished by a man who didn't like to run, and was scared of guns.

24. The Man with the Midas Touch

However, none of that holds a candle to the man who played Goldfinger, Gert Fröbe. There's so much to cover, it's difficult to know where to start...

It's a fairly well-known fact that actor Michael Collins had to voice all of Goldfinger’s lines, because Fröbe, unbeknownst to the film’s producers, couldn’t speak English. Might be the kind of thing you'd check beforehand...

A lesser known fact is that 'Goldfinger' was banned in Israel when it emerged that Fröbe had been a member of the Nazi party during World War II. The ban was eventually lifted when a Jewish family publicly thanked the actor for protecting them from persecution during the conflict. Again, all of the might be things you'd possibly like to check before casting someone in one of the most high-profile films being made at that time on the planet.

25. I Expect You To Return This In One Piece

As much as I love Bond, my favorite character in the films is Q, the perennially-grumpy quartermaster who provides 007 with his gadgets.

Despite Ben Wishshaw's impressive turn in the Craig films, the late, great Desmond Llewelyn will always be Q in my eyes. He played the role seventeen times, and served Connery, Moore, Dalton, and Brosnan. My favorite inventions of his? Well, I don't thing anything could top the alligator submarine in 'Octopussy', or the flame-throwing bagpipes in 'The World is Not Enough.'

However, no discussion of Q can take place without mentioning the greatest item of hardware he's even given Bond - his car.

Across the franchise, 007 has driven (and destroyed) multiple cars - however one stands head and shoulders above the others: The wondrous Aston Martin DB5.

It was already an impressive feat of automobile engineering; given that Q has added an ejector seat, machine-guns, and oil-sprayers it's doubly-so.

It's just a shame 007 can't look after it.

However, it's not just that car: Over the 24 movies to date, Bond has caused so much carnage on the roads it would take over $6 million to either replace or repair the vehicles he's trashed, which - in addition to an untold number of Aston Martins - also includes an oil tanker, and a T-55 tank.

He might have a licence to kill, but why he's never had his driving licence revoked is beyond me.

So, that was 25 facts about the world's favorite secret agent.

He likes a drink, enjoys time in the bedroom, has a fondness for travel, and killing people. If he can destroy things along the way even better.

His creator didn't like the actor initially hired to play him; and everyone who's played him since has spent as much time slagging off the role, as actually acting it.

He faces outlandish villains, and the stories of the casting of actors for those roles are often as outrageous as the baddies own back-stories.

Here's to another fifty years of his ridiculous adventures!!

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If you've liked what you've read, please check out my other article about the world of 007:

Among other things, I also write about film, theatre, and mental health.

If you've really liked what you've read, please share with your friends on social media.

If you've really, really liked what you've read, a small tip would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

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About the Creator

Christopher Donovan

Hi!

Film, theatre, mental health, sport, politics, music, travel, and the occasional short story... it's a varied mix!

Tips greatly appreciated!!

Thank you!!

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