One more film, with feeling.

"Hey, we need a movie idea for tonight."

My parents are notorious for sending this text message, seeking last-minute movie recommendations, and it has taken me years to sort out the formula for finding precisely what they want. As with a lot of older folks, there are a lot of contributing factors in narrowing down what their deal-breakers are: rating (R is only acceptable for certain types of violence, e.g. The Passion, or Speed), the year it was filmed (before 1980 or after 1999 is ideal), nudity and sex (none preferred, but there is wiggle room for a scene where they can hit the "next chapter" button on the remote without missing any major plot points. Thank you Double Jeopardy), and so many other elements that dig deep into who my parents are as people. I used to factor in religion, upbringing, known actors, filming locations, all before realizing I could break this strenuous process down to a simple question:

How do you want to feel at the end of the movie?

A question like this is necessarily dependent on a few things. First, you have to know the movies, particularly how they end. I'm morally opposed to revealing spoilers to anybody, but I feel it's entirely within my rights to point out that The Boy in the Striped Pajamas won't leave you with a smile on your face. On the other hand, a film that appears to be based in pending sadness can surprise you with a warm feeling of optimism, like The Farewell. I've made the mistake of joining my family in watching some classic movies without knowing the exact way it plays out, and it's safe to say that none of them will ever watch The Way We Were or How Green Was My Valley again.

Feelings are elusive and customized, so it's also key to know how your intended audience feels about different scenarios. I adore the romance, music, and finale of Moulin Rouge, but I know that my parents would typically prefer a happier ending all tied up with a bow, like in The Greatest Showman. The nostalgia and fun of the Muppets Take Manhattan is a hit for us, while Muppets in Space falls outside of our good graces for taking a simple story of wacky puppets and making it "too weird." Even more important to the customization process is throwing away popular opinion for personal taste. Ant-Man may be criticized as one of the lesser Marvel movies, but does my Dad have it on DVD for frequent viewing? You bet your thorax he does. Likewise my partner still references Vertigo as "the worst movie of all time," while praising 2002's live-action remake of Scooby-Doo. Knowing your people is everything.

Once the understanding of who we are is established (myself as the all-knowing wizard, my parents as the unique beings they've grown into), we can finally decide, when we get to that ending scene, how do we want to be feeling? Are we looking to just soak in light-hearted happiness? The Importance of Being Earnest will almost entirely keep us there, or Legally Blonde is another safe, low-stakes investment. Are we looking for historical fiction, but don't want to be drowned in sadness? Life is Beautiful (always with subtitles) will leave us in a miraculous state of joy and gratitude that only a small Jewish boy riding in a tank can provide. (JoJo Rabbit, on the other hand, can be entirely unpredictable depending on your pre-viewing opinion of Scarlett Johanssen.)

If they want to feel the thrill of mobs and crime without any of the reality of mobs and crime, there's Cellular and 2003's The Italian Job (though beware, you'll be questioning the phrase "I'm fine" for years to come). If you want horror and suspense that somehow meets the PG-13 palate of a sweet couple in their 60's, there's The Glass House, A Quiet Place, or it's always safe to go back in time for hits like Wait Until Dark and Rear Window. (Keep in mind that modern remakes of known movies, like Disturbia for Rear Window, will produce groans and broad comparisons. "Shia LeBeouf is no Jimmy Stewart.")

Feel free to use this knowledge to push your own agenda as well. Hoping to sneak in some queer cinema to expand a family dynamic? Push aside any idea of watching Netflix's The Prom for something more sincere like Philomena; this movie slides a sweet and understanding perspective into a story about an elderly woman tracing down her child. (James Cordon wishes he could pull that kind of authenticity off.)

At the end of the day, trust is key when you're basing movies off of that sweet feeling at the very end. We know to expect resolution and justification in Sleeping With The Enemy and The Net, but be prepared to defend yourself the whole way there. Families are wonderfully unique, and you can't please everyone who plans to watch together (notable exceptions: The Princess Bride and Sylvester Stallone's Oscar), but do your work to ensure that however much protesting and arguing you encounter when you push play, you're all going to be exactly where you want to be when those credits start to roll.