'Octonauts': The Dark Secret They Don't Want You To Know

Octonauts is an adorable show, beloved by many children, and it's inspired by seminal sci-fi series, making it ideal for geek parents to put on for their children. It teaches kids about animals in a way that's both fun and smart. But it is undeniable, Octonauts has some weird shit in it.

There are already some people who have talked about the absolutely bizarre menagerie kept by the underwater explorers, which were dubbed the Vegimals. They're part vegetable and part animal, they mysteriously appeared growing on the side of the Octopod, and they speak a gibberish language that only Shellington understands. Also, they do the gardening, harvesting, and cooking of fish biscuits, so, they're technically also cannibals, which is horrifying. I don't know which part of this story to point out as disconcerting first, especially since it all leaves me convinced that there's some kind of sea-dwelling Dr. Moreau out there that is still getting away with his abominable crimes against nature. But that's not what I'm here to talk about today, because there's something else on the show that's been nagging me.

Tweak.

Tweak Bunny.

No, seriously, her name is Tweak. And she's the engineer. And she is known to stay up all night building random machines. She's also way too excited on the day that they're going to clean the entire freaking Octopod. Now, if you don't know what the term "tweaker" means, it's a slang term for people who enjoy methamphetamine a little too much. It makes them erratic, unable to sleep, jittery, and hyper focused on inexplicable activities like building random stuff out of junk.

I don't know if this term exists in the U.K., where the show originates, but you'd think, hey, maybe when it was adapted into English, someone might have, I don't know, changed it? Also, her name is also the only one that doesn't alliterate, which makes it stick out even more. Most of the other Octonauts have names that alliterate with whatever their species is -- Barnacles Bear, Dashi Dog, Peso Penguin (which is, like, totally racist). Tweak is Tweak Bunny. Bunnies, which are known for their speed and, well, hyperactivity, by extrapolation.

It may be a silly gripe, since the kids watching it will have no idea whatsoever of the term "tweaker" or its meaning, but as an adult watching the show over and over and over again, I find it unintentionally hilarious, especially since Tweak somehow has a myriad of gadgets ready-built for weirdly specific instances, like goggles that let you see in "Damsel Fish Vision" and It sounds like she's just spent way too many nights being paranoid about unlikely situations (that, granted, usually do come true) and creating devices to solve these weirdly specific problems. And she's known for being fast, as her catchphrase is "I'll have it fixed faster than you can say buncha munchy crunchy carrots!"

However you frame it, Tweak is a strange character. I mean, she's freaking green. What rabbit do you know that's neon green? She's also somehow the same size as Captain Barnacles, a Polar Bear, but that's a whole other barrel of fish. Next to those creepy-ass Vegimals, I'd say she's the weirdest character on the show. And these "coincidences" just keep piling up, until you can't help but notice them.

I get it. I'm the weird one for connecting all these things. And this is absolutely not a serious complaint against the show, I freaking love it, tweaker rabbit inventor and all. It's exciting, it's intelligent, and, as a Trekkie, I think it's a great age-appropriate precursor to showing my daughter The Next Generation when she's old enough to enjoy it. But, yeah, if you look for them, the connections are there. And it's weird, but also hysterical. Admit it. Now you're going to notice all these things, too, and I bet you it will make sitting through the show again and again more enjoyable.