Not Sure What to Watch? Take this Quiz.

“There’s nothing to WATCH!” I lament to my boyfriend, as I sit on the couch flipping through Netflix, Hulu, Prime TV, my entire iTunes library, and every app on Roku that I can log into with Comcast. Surely you have been there too: facing a plethora of choices but rife with indecision. It feels like that familiar meme: staring into a closet full of clothes and complaining that one has nothing to wear. My sister calls it Analysis Paralysis.

The problem isn’t that there’s nothing to watch. The problem is that there are too many things to watch, but we don’t know if any of them will fulfill that need. You know the one I mean. Like a food craving that you have but can’t quite identify (is it chocolate? potato chips?), there’s a media craving we often have but don’t know how to quench. Will that comedy show really make you laugh? Will that romance movie be sweet? Or will you just be disappointed?

Luckily, through a lot of trial and error, I’ve stumbled upon some gems. But before I recommend movies and TV shows to you, I must make one key assumption. I must assume that, like me, you are not the same person every day. Each day that your life brings unique challenges and experiences, your needs for media content change. Not only is it difficult to sift through the massive library of media out there, but challenging to gauge our own readiness for it. Timing can make or break your appreciation of a show or movie.

Therefore I must create a roadmap for you that will guide you to the best viewing experience for different states of mind, emotional and intellectual needs, and energy levels. Follow along, and you may just discover your next favorite viewing experience. Let's start the quiz.

Questions:

1. You’re settling down on the couch for a night of Netflix. What’s your state of mind?


A. Energized and curious

B. Fatigued and unsure

C. Calm and contemplative 


2. You can’t decide on a new movie/show to watch, so you go for ‘ole reliable. What is it?


A. The Davinci Code/CSI

B. Legally Blonde/Modern Family

C. Planet Earth/Crocodile Hunter

3. Work got you down this week - how do you remedy it over the weekend?

A. Work on a puzzle or a project

B. Practice some indulgent self care (face mask and bubbly, anyone?)

C. Read a good book

4. Monday comes back around, and you need some music to inspire you into the week. What are you listening to?

A. A rousing film score

B. Your favorite pop power ballads

C. Calming instrumental

Now, tally your answers. Are you ready?

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If mostly A's, then The Haunting at Bly Manor:

I do not like “horror” movies. I do not like constant jump scares or excessive amounts of realistic fake blood. I do, however, love intrigue. And mysteries and puzzles and treasure hunts. Referencing The Davinci Code as a jumping point for this genre may be polarizing; it’s one of those movies that you love or hate (as with the book). But if you at least enjoy the spirit of The Davinci Code - of cliffhangers, suspense, and cleverness - then you will love The Haunting at Bly Manor. In this show you will not see cheap scares or gore. But you will sit at the edge of your seat. You will remember the delightful, overwhelming feeling of being insatiably curious, desperate for answers, dying to see the entire web of the tale being woven in front of you. But I do recommend it with one caveat: watch when you have the mental and emotional energy. It intrigues, delights, and provokes, but only when you are ready to be enveloped in it.

If mostly B’s, then Chocolat (movie) or The Middle (TV show):


There are some days when we just need to be comforted. To be told a thoughtful tale of love or an uplifting story of perseverance. If Legally Blonde is your all-time go-to movie for laughs, girl power, and a poignant message, then Chocolat must be your next watch. It’s a slightly older film, but I find many people haven’t heard of it. In it the classic Juliette Binoche portrays a nomadic, eclectic woman and mother who settles in a tiny French town to open a chocolate shop at a rather unfortunate time on the Christian calendar: the fasting season of Lent. I will of course not give too much away, as I know you will heed my recommendation to watch it, but it includes delightful humor, poignant messages, women supporting women, a beautiful score, and of course, an abundant amount of chocolate. Throw in a young Johnny Depp as the rogue, wandering male counterpart to Juliette’s character, and you’ve got the recipe for a perfect film.

For a TV show, try The Middle. Interestingly enough, this show is also not new. In fact, for many years it aired in one of the primetime evening slots right before the award-winning Modern Family would run. Yet somehow, many people haven’t heard of it. Modern Family’s acclaim is well deserved, and for me, what Legally Blonde is to movie, Modern Family is to TV show. But The Middle, I find, is often even more relatable and truly laugh-out-loud funny. It depicts an average, struggling middle class American family. And while what it means to be “American” varies wildly for everyone, I’m sure anyone can find something relatable in the daily struggles of family, money, and life depicted in this show.

These recommendations are for all time. They uplift on a sad day and reinforce a happy day. But I find them especially valuable on those days when the world has made me tired, and I need a little reminder that everything will be ok.

If mostly C’s, then Night on Earth.

Night on Earth is a recent Netflix documentary series which, as the name suggests, documents many different habitats on Earth at night to explore previously unseen behaviors of the animals living there. I find it difficult to describe the right mindset for watching such a show. To see nature unfold in front of your eyes is at once awe-inspiring and frightening, uplifting and heart-wrenching. Yet it is those dichotomies that often draw me to nature films. For why watch a nature documentary if not to feel the deep, polarizing nature of existence itself? To contemplate everything’s place in the universe?

On the level of production value, anyone can appreciate Night on Earth. Although the narration brags about the camera technology a few too many times, it is, for lack of more elegant words, really cool. You get to see beautiful shots of animals at dusk using low-light cameras. You get to admire how heat is distributed in an animal’s body with infrared cameras. It’s phenomena that you would truly never get to see in your life were it not for the technology, so it feels special.

But like with Haunting at Bly Manor, I advise watching this series with the right mindset. Nature is beautiful but raw and sometimes cruel. I am only ready to appreciate such a thing when I myself am centered, balanced, and at peace. Then I can take in everything the documentary is ready to show and ponder what it means to me.

So there you are - a hopefully handy guide to some new viewing experiences. Although platforms like Netflix and Hulu categorize their movies and shows by genre, that is never enough information for me to make a decision. I wish there was a "What kind of day did you have?" quiz or personality test to take on there before choosing a show. Anything more nuanced than simply "comedy" or "action" categories. Maybe someone will catch onto that soon.

Until then, you'll just have to trust me.