My Favorite 'Toons: C.O.P.S.

Not to be confused with the reality show COPS, this C.O.P.S. stands for Central Organization of Police Specialists, a team of talented police officers from all across the United States fighting the notorious Big Boss and his gang of crooks in Empire City in the year 2020--or rather, 2020 as it was envisioned in 1988, the year the cartoon premiered.

In the two-part premiere, Empire City's Mayor Davis calls in federal agent Baldwin P. Vess to deal with Big Boss and his crooks. During the investigation, Vess is near-fatally injured and then given a cybernetic torso to keep him alive and functioning--and makes him impervious to bullets. Vess then decides to form the elite C.O.P.S. unit with Longarm, a local cop who acts as the team's second-in-command; Highway, a motorcycle cop; Sgt. Mace, a SWAT team leader; Bowzer, a canine handler with a robot police dog named Blitz; Sundown, a former Texas Ranger; Barricade, a crowd control officer; Mirage, a female undercover cop and mistress of disguise; Mainframe, a female computer operator who's also tough while in the field; and Hardtop, a rookie cop, Longarm's police partner, and the team's Armored Assault Vehicle driver. Mainframe and Hardtop weren't picked as part of the C.O.P.S. team until they proved themselves in the field in the premiere's second part. Vess himself earned the codename Bulletproof.

Big Boss's Crooks have their specialties, too: Beserko, the Boss's dimwitted street punk nephew; Turbo Tu-Tone, the spiffy getaway driver; Rock Krusher, a strongarm who wields a jackhammer and still wears his prison uniform; Buttons McBoomBoom, a machine gunner whose deadliest guns are attached to his chest; Dr. Badvibes, the mad scientist who proudly keeps his oversized brain under a glass dome; Ms. Demeanor, a former lady wrestler turned petty crook; and Nightshade, a gorgeous cat burglar. Big Boss's manservant, Squeaky Kleen, keeps his Boss neat and clean and also drives the limo for him.

Other recurring characters in the show are the aforementioned Mayor Davis; Whitney Morgan, beautiful local TV reporter and Hardtop's big crush; Brian O'Malley, Longarm's ten-year-old son and expert skateboarder; and Mickey O'Malley, Longarm's retired cop father who thinks our heroes' futuristic gear is "silly".

Halfway through the run of the cartoon, new C.O.P.S. and Crooks appeared. On the C.O.P.S. team: Checkpoint, a former military cop; Apes, inventor of a climbing apparatus for scaling walls; Airwave, a loudmouth communications officer; Tazer, who flew an electronic hang glider; and Powderkeg, a Bomb Squad officer. Big Boss recruited Bullit, a weapons fanatic who can't shoot straight; Hyena, a gymnast/cat burglar; and Louie the Plumber, a crooked handyman. The C.O.P.S. even enlisted the help of Yukon, a Canadian Mountie, in a couple of episodes.

All the show's stories began with titles that started with "The Case of..." and a file folder with pics of that episode's caper; and ended with the folder shut and Bulletproof declared, "Case Closed." Since this was an Eighties cartoon, there was also a "C.O.P.S. for Kids" safety segment. Sometimes it was done by the characters but most times it was done by a real-life police officer from the era. I liked both versions.

My favorite C.O.P.S. episode, "The Case of the Big Little Green Men", could be considered timely today. A space shuttle mission to Mars brings back a large gemstone that Big Boss desires. After Beserko fails to steal it, he, Dr. Badvibes, and the Doctor's robot Buzzbomb disguise as Martians and take the gemstone, along with Police Commissioner Highwater as a hostage. Back at headquarters, Mainframe exposes the phony aliens and learns the gemstone will cause a devastating explosion as long as it's on Earth! The female cop leaves her computer to fetch the Martian rock and delivers it to the space shuttle just in time to return it to space. As Bulletproof says in a voiceover, "Mainframe was a celebrated hero for some time after that." That's Girl Power--with a badge!