Movie Review: 'Our Friend'

A poignant time-shifting look at grief, loss and friendship, the new drama, Our Friend, is deeply moving. The film features star turns from Casey Affleck, Dakota Johnson and, in perhaps the most unexpected and nuanced performance from funnyman Jason Segal. Segal has done dramatic work before, he very well portrayed the loss of a father on the TV series How I Met Your Mother and, in 2017 he stood out playing legendarily troubled author David Foster Wallace in The End of the Tour.

That said, Segal’s role in Our Friend has him flexing all of his muscles, comic and dramatic and finding a place within that range to create an indelible character. Part of Segal’s success likely comes from the source material, writer Peter Teague’s remarkable article in Esquire “The Friend: Love is Not a Big Enough Word” that became the book ‘The Friend." So well brought to life is Dane in article and novel form that Segal had a very strong base for this character.

Nicole Teague (Dakota Johnson) is dying. She has Ovarian Cancer and it has spread to most of her other organs. At just a mere 36 years old, with two relatively small children, Nicole Teague was leaving this world. Left behind was her husband, Matt (Casey Affleck), a writer turned full time caretaker. From 2012 to 2015, when Nicole passed away, Matt spent as much time as possible with his dying wife. That time was made possible by a remarkably selfless friend.

Dane (Jason Segal) had met Nicole and Matt in college. Matt initially believed that Dane was just another creep trying to hit on his wife. Eventually however, Dane’s genuine and personable nature won Matt over. As life progressed, they grew closer than even Dane and Nicole had become. When Nicole was diagnosed with cancer in 2012, a devastated Matt fell into a depression. Caring for Nicole became his full time job.

A year, later seeing how much Matt was struggling, Dane moved in and never left. He just showed up one day in December. When the family dog fell ill, it too had cancer and would pass away, Dane was the one who took the beloved pet to the veterinarian and wept when he begged the vet not to tell him that the dog was dying. Having to explain to the kids that the dog had died of cancer while their mother was suffering from cancer was too much of a blow. Sadly, the vet had no choice and cried as well telling him of the dog’s fate.

Our Friend uses a shifting time scale to give scope to the lives of Nicole, Matt and Dane. We see aspects of their story divided into time frames from before Nicole fell ill to days before her death. This shifting time scale keeps Our Friend from becoming as oppressively bleak as it might have been if it just focused on Nicole being ill. Scenes that circle back to when Matt met Dane, after Dane had befriended Nicole, allow the actors moments to breathe and demonstrate charm before we have to dive back into the deep end of grief and agony.

The three central performances of Our Friend are fantastic. Casey Affleck’s dire affect and sour demeanor are perfectly suited to playing a man who is completely out of his depth with grief. Dakota Johnson’s lively beauty and spirit provide the basis for the drama that comes as her story unfolds. A once lively, energetic and graceful young woman disintegrates slowly into death and your heart breaks for her and those who love her.

Then, there is Jason Segal whose childlike playfulness is infectious and charming. He’s always been likable and, with his stature, a unique presence in comedy, but here he’s incredibly human, warm and compassionate in a fashion that amplifies those friendly qualities we’ve always admired. The lovely qualities of Jason Segal are couched with a sense of inevitable despair that appears like a truck in the distance that , even though you see it coming, you simply cannot get out of the way.

I don’t want to go into any more detail than I have already, Our Friend is a weighty meal best consumed whole. I will just once more say that Jason Segal’s warmth and compassion flow through this character and off the screen to us in the audience. You want to know and befriend Dane. You want Dane to never feel the pain he is about to experience, you want to be there for Dane because you know he’d be there for you if he were your friend.

That’s a powerful punch for an actor to carry and Segal wields with good measure. He’s funny but never at the expense of the drama. He’s kind but never in the treacly manner of so many lesser dramas. He rises to the challenge of making a movie about death and grief that isn’t overwhelmingly, desperately, despairingly sad. It’s still an incredibly emotional movie, you still feel the sadness and despair but it’s bearable in the same way that the real life Dane made Matt Teague’s life and grief bearable.

Our Friend was adapted by screenwriter Brad Ingelsby, writer of Out of the Furnace and the inspirational basketball movie, The Way Back. The film was directed by Gabriella Cowperthwaite, the documentary filmmaker behind the remarkably bleak Blackfish, about the repeated murder of Whales around the world and at Seaworld in San Diego. It’s the second feature for Cowperthwaite after cutting her teeth with the feel good military true story, Meagan Levy.

Our Friend arrives in theaters and On Demand rental services January 25th.

This review is dedicated to my very own Nicole and Matt, Faith and Brad Rogers. I'm the luckiest person alive to be your Dane. Like the real Dane, I will always be with you when you need me.