Loki: Lamentis

Opening with Hayley Kiyoko’s Demons, Lamentis, is a mesmerizing spectacle with adrenaline-fueled fisticuffs, a deluge of hilarious repartees, and most importantly, a lesson on love. Yes, you heard me right. After all, isn’t love the only thing that transcends time and space?

Oh, and I forgot Lady Loki called and she would very much want you to stop calling her Loki. Lest we incur her wrath, we’ll start calling her Sylvie.

Fleeing from Mobius and the Minutemen who were at his heels, you can imagine Loki’s relief when the portal transported him back to the TVA. (Turns out, that’s where the rather dramatic portal escape led to). At the TVA, Loki and Sylvie engage in a scuffle which was promptly thwarted when Renslayer arrives at the scene with the Time Stick (pruning device), all set to prune (delete) the astray Variants.

Loki manages to port the hell outta there, only to be trapped on a moon bound to crash within a couple of hours. Sylvie, furious at his misstep, resumes the squabble with doubled intensity successfully prying the TemPad from Loki, only to find that it’s drained of power.

In a skillful maneuver, Loki re-acquires the TemPad, assuming a tactical advantage over Sylvie which he puts to good use over the length of the entire journey.

The duel is interrupted when a meteorite comes crashing down the roof, landing between them. Stepping out of the tent, Sylvie realizes that Loki has brought them to one of the most disastrous apocalypses among the many apocalypses stored in the TemPad.

Dodging the debris of the meteor shower, they reach a mining shack and concede to work together for the sake of their survival. Yet the playful barbs they exchange remain one of the highlights of the episode.

In the hunt for a power source to repower the TemPad, they discover an occupied house where they take turns to glean intel. Sylvie tears down the door, only to be blasted off to the porch by the occupant. A diplomatic Loki shapeshifts into the woman’s husband, but endures the same fate.

Upon placation, however, the woman shares details about the Ark, an evacuation vessel, which, according to Sylvie, would have enough juice to recharge the TemPad. All they need is a ticket for the train headed to the capital city of Shuroo. The notion of deities trying to procure a ticket is very droll indeed.

Well, technically, they don’t. I mean, they’re literally a reservoir of wiles. How hard is it for them to finagle their way into the train?

And that is exactly what they did.

With not having to steer clear of meteor showers, the pair has ample time to swap not just snarks but also stories about their upbringing, a confab which further arouses our suspicion of the TVA. Why are the variants drastically different, if they were all the same ones who diverged from a particular point? Is there more to the TVA than the space lizards? The episode does expose a falsity which we’ll get to in a few seconds.

Loki fondly reminisces about his mother, Frigga, who he credits for teaching him the many tricks he’s capable of, including conjuring up fireworks from his hands. The bartender arrives with two glasses of champagne, but upon offering it to Sylvie she declines and Loki, like a true Asgardian, joyously accepts both the glasses, toasting to the end of the world. Meandering to the subject of love, Loki fails to find a proper metaphor for love.

But after a couple of drinks, he concludes rather foolishly, that love is a dagger. Sylvie notes he is inebriated to which he responds with the most Loki retort you could ever hope for: No, I’m just full. And... I’ll be using that.

Viewers also get to see a drunk Loki warbling a song along the lines of ‘When she sings, she sings come home’ in Asgardian language (with the exception of this verse).

This catches the attention of a Lamentian guard who asks Loki to produce his tickets before him. A brawl ensues and Loki is ejected out of the train, with Sylvie following in his wake.

The TemPad has shattered into smithereens due to the impact of Loki’s tumble, incensing a livid Sylvie who lets out a primal scream. Sobering up, Loki proposes that they get the Ark off the moon and try to save the people from the incoming doom, even though the decimation of the Ark was preordained.

On the walk to their ride, Loki (and the viewers) learn that the Minutemen were Variants just like them and not created by the TVA as Mobius claimed. Loki is aghast at the revelation since no one at the TVA knew that. Or did Mobius lie? Something tells me that the TVA would turn out to be the baddies of the series.

In an eye-popping spectacle, the duo scamper through the pandemonium as civilians run hither and tither for cover. Before they make it to the Ark, however, a meteor crashes into the Ark with a blinding flash, sending a thunderous clap across the planet as their last hope of survival explodes before their eyes.

Lamentis was more of an expository episode doing very little in terms of moving the plot forward. At the end of the episode, we have no updates on the TVA, which is, as of the second episode, grappling with the bombing of the Sacred Timeline and much to my dismay, no sight of Owen Wilson’s Mobius.

With that said, the episode was an enthralling experience myriad of badass action scenes aided by an impressive set-piece, cool stunts, and remarkable special effects.

Rating: 4.5/5

Now streaming on Disney+