I'm Not Her

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me!” You let out a sigh as some stranger ran past your art easel, clearly set up as you were painting a portrait of someone. The easel fell towards you, knocking your paint palette out of your hand, where it splattered all over your clothes. You looked up at your customer apologetically. “I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” You hear a voice coming from the left of you, quickly jerking your head to another unexpected stranger. It was a male, who was slightly taller than you. “It was my friend who caused this mess, he should be the one apologizing.” He bent down to pick up the easel and canvas off the ground taking a look at it.

“Hey! Bobby!” The stranger raised his voice lightly as the one who ran past you approached. “You should be more careful.”

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to destroy your work." The man named Bobby responded apologetically.

"I know it won't make up for the amount of effort you put into the painting, but how about we go out for drinks or grab something to eat sometime." The first male said. You look between both of them confused for a moment.

"All of us or just me and you? She needs apologizing too, you know?" You asked calmly before looking up and seeing the man known as Bobby already talking to the girl you were painting a portrait of.

"Just me and you. Bobby can apologize to her in his own way." The male smiled at you cheekily, and you couldn't help but let out a little chuckle.

"Well, if you're practically taking me out on a date I at least need to know your name." You said smiling back at him.

"Oh, I am Hanbin, Kim Hanbin." He introduced himself. "And you are?"

"It's nice to meet you, Hanbin. I'm Zoey."

---

It was almost a week since that incident happened, and you almost thought that the male that had ruined your painting and then casually asked you out on a date, forgot everything. Of course, that was until your phone screen lit up with a message from Hanbin.

“Sorry! I meant to message you sooner.

I thought maybe I could pick you up tonight and take you out for those drinks?”

You shake your head lightly, letting out a soft chuckle.

“That’s sort of last minute.

But since I have nothing else going on, I guess you got me at the right time.”

“Well that’s perfect then! :D

Send me your address and I will be there in an hour.”

You sent your address to him before setting your phone down and looking at the mirror, trying to process everything in your head. You were in lazy, comfortable clothes because you thought you were going to spend your evening binge watching your favorite show on Netflix, but now you had to make an effort to look good.

An hour later, you were dressed in black booties with brown bottoms, white skinny jeans and a black v-neck and a small bag hanging on your side, sitting on your couch looking at your phone waiting for a text from Hanbin.

Knock. Knock.

You jump lightly, having been distracted by Instagram, having been brought back to the world of reality by that knock. You get up, answering the door, a bright smile coming across your face. Hanbin was standing on the other side, holding a bouquet of flowers towards you.

“I’m late, I know. I wanted to give you these.” He chuckled lightly. You stepped aside motioning him to come in after taking the flowers.

“Well since we can’t take these with us, I have to properly display them.” You said looking around, until you found a glass, considering not everyone has vases, just the right size to put them in. “That will have to do.” You looked at Hanbin. “I’m ready to go now.” You smiled brightly, and he took your hand walking you out to his car.

---

It was those small things from the beginning that led you into falling in love with the man named Kim Hanbin. From the beginning he was always late for your dates, never messaged you on time, and yet it was your favorite thing about him. Not only because of him always taking his time on everything, but he acknowledged that he was doing so.

You started to get to know him and even his group of friends a lot better, and it was on one day that Hanbin had asked you to come on an outing with his friends that you learned something about Hanbin, that you know shouldn’t happen to anyone. You were chatting with one of his older friends, Jinhwan, when he slipped out about the first woman he loved. They never dated, as she always told him that she wasn’t interested, and then one day she called him, breaking down. She couldn’t do it anymore, she lost the war inside her head and took her own life. Since learning this, you haven’t been able to look at Hanbin the same anymore. You finally understood the emptiness inside of him that you didn’t know before. Why even if it took him a while, at the end of the days, he would always check up on you.

“What’s troubling you?” You heard Hanbin speak, poking in between your furrowed brows as you were lost in thought.

“Hm... oh, nothing.” You shook your head, leaning forward.

“It doesn’t seem like nothing. You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” Hanbin stated, taking a seat next to you.

“Jinhwan told me about Sohyun.” You glanced over at Hanbin, noticing him flinching at the girls name.

“Oh...” Hanbin sighed, leaning back on the bench that the two of you were sitting on. “What do you know?”

“I know that she didn’t have feelings for you like you did her, and that she was fighting a war inside her own head…” You paused, “And that you were the last one that she called.”

Hanbin closed his eyes lightly, taking your hand. Something that he always did when he just seemed to need a moment to breath. So you took the moment to be silent with him.

“You know, as much as I still love her, she is in the past, right?” Hanbin finally broke the silence.

“I know that… but, Hanbin. I’m not her.” You said knowing how hard it is to get over a first love, especially when they leave in that manner.

“I know that.” Hanbin said looking at you, giving you a soft smile. “But you are you, and I love you for that.” He said pulling you closer to you, giving a small peck on your lips.