I’m all ears

They say this is a no judgement zone and write to my tv binge hearts content but my confessional is liable to get me bypassed. Beheaded, even, in some countries or circles. However, if there’s one thing the past several years have taught us, it’s that the popular vote doesn’t always matter.

That said I’m going out on an often cold and solo limb. Sharing some inside scoopage that may marginalize me when really, if given a chance, could show that ‘the show’ and I have more in common with everyone, not less.

I'd love to just jump right out and say what it is but maybe it’ll be better received if I share the journey to this exhibit.

Once upon a time I was a Grey’s Anatomy addict. It was back in the days of McDreamy and McSteamy. Those well-deserved nicknames earned them a weekly sighting in my livingroom, with two girlfriends and semi-bitter cheap White Merlot. The story lines were juicy. They seemed far-fetched but possible. And possibility… it’s the sort of thing that makes a guy face rejection and ask anyway. It’s the reason so many got the raise they proposed. Possibility keeps the faith-filled believing in God.

I ritualistically tuned in. A twenty-something single mom of two, who braved an early bed-time war for an hour of selfish escape. Just one…

Until, the show started taking a turn. The dramatic pauses were giving way to day-time soap operaness and could no longer keep me hypnotized. After while I had to admit, the performers were all too attractive, slightly over-acting, and unreal. Their fantastic talent just wasn’t worth my time. I mean literally. I had a life to progress that wasn’t getting anywhere in exchange for an ultimately forgettable irrelevance. I’ve heard of guilt shopping, so perhaps my over-indulgences could be best classified as guilt-bingde-watching? I'm sure its a clinically diagnosed thing somewhere. But after significant skin-in-the-game, I just couldn’t find the same enjoyment in that escape.

What I really loved was the storytelling

In fact, when I took the time to evaluate, I identified what I really loved was the storytelling. (Shout out to Shonda Rhimes.) I was attracted to the initial concept and the unpredictable outcomes. Not necessarily the acting or actors, themselves. It’s just, at some point, I started to feel told what to think. I didn’t agree with storyline relationship decisions. How could everyone be shaking in the medicine closet and no one get caught? And how come the doctors were the most freaky and least-condom conscious crew on any syndication? I began to feel like these characters and their actions were defining more norms than I wanted to permit. And the only way I could control a change with the most highly-rated show in America, was to turn it off. So I did.

I became engrossed with fulltime mommihood, fulltime school, and fulltime work.

Sleep was non-existant. In fact I set my alarm clock to 2 am, just to wake up and start studies. Fast forward to older kids, a degree, and a corporate directing position. In many arenas and eyes of others, I had ‘made it.’ Actually even in my own eyes, I was where I wanted to be, doing what I wanted to , making more than enough, and driving a customized-color hand-picked car fresh from the lot.

Yet and still, I had a couple things missing. One of which reared its head during out of state business travels. Love was not on my agenda but low and behold this wonderful man storms into my life. He was everything I was too preoccupied to hope for. So thanks to him, I found myself morbidly obsessed with 2 relationship shows. Now let the record show, I’m not the typical lovey dovey chick. I didn’t daydream of Romeo’s rescue or walking down isies. However, I found my self tuned in to, ‘Say yes to the dress’ and ‘Snapped.’

One show is about brides trying on dresses for their soon to be nuptials. It’s actually hard to believe that so many tune in to watch strangers experience. But I faithfully earned them ratings. It's not like I was taking notes. I had never fantasized of a dress or wedding. And I never formally had either but still that show caught my eye.

Contrastly, so did, Snapped.

It’s a show about women done wrong, so they ‘snap.’ Usually in the form of murder toward their mate. When I found myself getting to a point of sympathy with the ‘snappers,’ I had to turn the show off. Just as I had never planned on a wedding dress, I’d never planned on a revenge murder. I felt like tuning in to either was like being an understudy and I was sure, once again, my time could be better spent.

Just as I had never planned on a wedding dress, I’d never planned on a revenge murder

Fast forward now to marriage, 2 more kids, and business ownership.

Life has gotten even sweeter and with the new phase has come free-time. Not an endless amount but just enough to treat myself to a television treasure. So now, I watch endless... sermons. I know it’s not the sexy thing to do, unless you count the ways I learn to be the best me and mate I can be or the biblical erotica of Song of Solomon.

Again and again Transformation, Elevation, and Relentless church draw me in.

I went from a weekly squeezing of prime time tv fluff, to alternating daily feedings of sermonette virtual fares. I can’t get enough! I seek the latest and greatest.

I always find something relevant. Something encouraging. Something positive and real, in such a hectic and computerized world. I am able to connect in a way covid attempted to strip and mommihood of two kids under two, can rob. I am able to self-reflect not just consume and digest what I’m told. Those other shows would have their popular point of view. The couple shaking up or the consequenceless night out. They sold me the lie that the shows normalcies were the same as my own. But norms are not the standard.

Instead of watching others in and out of love, I invested in mine. Instead of fantasizing, I began to live life to the fullest. And help others do the same.

So there it is. My confessional. I traded in dreary Goggle New for The Good News and it’s the ultimate viewing.