How Two "Givers" Figure Out What to Watch During a Pandemic

I've always been labeled a giver in all of my relationships - friends, boyfriends, strangers, everyone. For reference, a "giver" or so I've been told, is defined as:

"Someone who shows their love through action, gifts, or acts of service. The issue that can arise is that this person gives so much to everyone else, that they feel spent when taking care of themselves."

example: making dinner, cleaning the house, buying groceries, etc.

My boyfriend, who I recently moved in with, is also a giver. Occassionally, we have to remind each other that taking care of ourselves is sometimes important too - so we compromise. When I make dinner, he does dishes. If I clean the bedroom, he cleans the kitchen. And vice versa. We make it work.

However.

When it comes to what to put on TV while we watch dinner - we have a nightly script that comes into play.

One of us starts with:

"What do you wanna watch?"

The other responds:

"You can pick tonight."

And so the cycle begins until one of us "gives" up.

So we came up with a system.

My boyfriend and I have two different lists - a page and a half long list of televisions show we want to watch together that never stops growing and a longer list of movies to watch. Since moving into together we've finished treasures like Gilmore Girls (which he loved, don't let him tell you otherwise) and the newest HBO Show - Flight Attendant, which was much easier to binge. Our system involves two questions:

1. How much time do we have? Getting old makes us account for bedtime now.

2. What mood are we in - light, dark, humor, documentary, you get the idea.

A list of five shows at once, one for each mood. Here's what the two of us are watching currently and what my recommendations would be based off our "weekly mood":

LIGHT MOOD

The "light mood" nights are all about the ability to eat dinner or sit on the couch after a long day and just zone out, or not have to think too hard about what you're watching. Hence the first genre of light mood...

Reality Television.

If you spent the last summer during lockdown binging horrendous, yet guilty pleasure shows like Love Is Blind, 90 Day Fiancé and Too Hot To Handle, take a trip across the pond and have your pick of six seasons of Love Island (UK). You won't regret it.

This among the other various reality dating show, involves a group of single people who move to a luxury villa in the hope of finding love and the summer of their life. Throughout the series, the presenter drops in unannounced to deliver shock twists and surprise announcements that will test the relationships between the islanders. To remain in their luxury paradise and stand a chance of winning the £50,000 prize, contestants must couple up and win the hearts of each other and the public, as they ultimately decide who stays on `Love Island' and who goes.

If this doesn't reel you in, the drama, romances, bromances, and of course, the UK jargin will have you watching every season back to back. Ordinary conversation, shared enjoyment and laughing together that underpins the success of cheeky games, dating around, and of course, 20 people all sleeping in the same room - what could go wrong?

Light-Comedies.

If we're still in a light mood and we want to pay attention a little more, but not numb our mind with reality tv (one can only take so much, I get it), we turn to Friends. Of course, the 90s show that people love to binge or love to hate is always a crowd pleaser in this apartment. My boyfriend actually owns the boxset with all the scenes that didn't make it to television. However, if you're not in the mood for a show you've seen a million times with a little bit of young adult and sex appeal - Sex Education is your next go-to.

Socially awkward high school student Otis may not have much experience in the lovemaking department, but he gets good guidance on the topic in his personal sex ed course -- living with mom Jean, who is a sex therapist. Being surrounded by manuals, videos and tediously open conversations about sex, Otis has become a reluctant expert on the subject. When his classmates learn about his home life, Otis decides to use his insider knowledge to improve his status at school, so he teams with whip-smart bad girl Maeve to set up an underground sex therapy clinic to deal with their classmates' problems. But through his analysis of teenage sexuality, Otis realizes that he may need some therapy of his own.

Sex Education is in all actuality, is one of those shows that you expect to be bad, based off the description, but along the way makes you laugh, cry, and learn a thing or two about sex and yourself. It covers all the "uncomfortable" topics that no one wants to talk about. It also tells us that being ourselves and asking questions is the best thing to do to not feel inept when it comes to your own body. It's a show for the masses that really has something for everyone... just don't watch it with your parents.

MEDIUM MOOD

Here's where the more adult television shows come into play. Whenever we want something that makes us scratch our head or solve a puzzle, and yet, still make us giggle from time to time. Genres like action, gore, mystery, and drama. Our first pick of the pandemic was Killing Eve with one of my favorites, Sandra Oh. While Killing Eve is not a new find, if you enjoy the comedic, mystery that brings you along with every twist and turn, then HBO Max's Flight Attendant is your next binge, because you can bet it was ours. Kaley Cuoco, from the popular tv series, Big Bang Theory, hits it out of the park. It really covered all the bases of a comedy, but with a hint of mystery and a whole lot of drama. The synopsis goes as follows:

A reckless flight attendant with an alcoholism problem wakes up in the wrong hotel, in the wrong bed, with a dead man - and no idea what happened. Unable to piece the night together, she begins to wonder if she could be the killer.

Cuoco surprised both of us from the jump with acting skills that had yet to be released during her previous comedy. You see the actress break down in tears on multiple occasions, play a believable alcoholic with a tramautic past, and of course, you fear for her, laugh with her, and run with her through the show's entirety.

HEAVY MOOD

I'm a crier. My boyfriend is not, it takes A LOT for him to even tear up. So, when I need a good cry and I know it, we turn to our heavy mood nights. Our starter was good 'ol Peaky Blinders. My boyfriend has seen the first season, and since I had pushed shows like Gilmore Girls and One Tree Hill on him, it was his turn for a pick. I absolutely loved Peaky, it had all the drama I was looking for, it wasn't predictable, but incredibly clever, and it got me so invested in the characters, that it made for a good cry every few episodes. When we finished what Netflix had to offer of Peaky Blinders, as I hear it's still going, we moved on to yet another drama, mystery, with a inkling of crime and shock - The Sinner. Two seasons, and a brand new third, we took our heavy moods of this show in strides. The show has a different cast every season, except for Bill Pullman as Detective Ambrose, who tries to understand the killers, while dealing with problems of his own:

Anthology series that examines how and why ordinary people commit brutal crimes.

Season 1 stars Jessica Biel as she figures out the trauma of her past, before it completely ruins her future. Season 2 covers an 11-year old boy and the murder of his parents. While Season 3, I have yet to watch, but I'm already hooked because the lead is non-other than (Matt Bomer, if you can't identify the photo):

So, if you're a giver, you're dating a giver, or you would like to start basing your television watching procress off of your current mood, this is your starter kit.

Hi there!

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