How Twilight Inspired My Love for Terrible TV

Twilight is a staple of my teenage years. I still remember when I was first introduced to the franchise after seeing the second movie, New Moon, in theatres with two of my childhood best friends when I was ten years old. From then on, I was hooked. My mom bought me all the books that year for Christmas and I went into a repeated cycle of finishing the books and immediately beginning them again. I’ve probably read the series in its entirety 7 times and have watched the movies just as many times. I can still quote lines from the movies word for word.

This is an unpopular opinion but Twilight was and is still iconic. Bite me! No pun intended. The soundtrack for every single movie (every last one!) is incredible and I could go on for ages about how those movies have lead to me discovering some of my favourite artists. I can also spend hours discussing how Twilight initiated my shift away from reading exclusively children's books to young adult literature. But that's not what we're here for.

Twilight absolutely shaped my preferences in TV. In fact, I believe all these teen franchises and TV shows that came up in the aftermath of Twilight were following the blueprint of cheesy, overdone tropes that Stephenie Meyer laid out for them. Not saying that she created any of these tropes because let's not Christopher Columbus lame TV but they certainly became a hell of a lot more popular following the Twilight Era. After some analysis, I realized that the guilty pleasure shows I love often contain some of the same basic elements. It's pretty formulaic.

1. A Boring, Annoying Female Lead that Makes You Want to Kill Her and Then Yourself - Grey's Anatomy

Meredith Grey is the Bella Swan of medical TV dramas and you can't convince me otherwise. By that I mean, flavourless, uninteresting, kind of irritating if I'm honest. She's also selfish, manipulative and gives little attention to how her actions might affect those around her. The background characters, the ones that they never focus on for longer than a few episodes, are certainly more intriguing and somehow...I still lowkey love the show and her. In spite of my reservations about the integrity of her character, I've been unable to stop watching even though I know I should because they're on their bazillionth season and it's basically nonsense content at this point.

2. A Toxic AF Love Triangle - The Vampire Diaries

Love triangles are so infuriating and toxic but simultaneously addictive. Just for the record, I am forever Team Edward even though I know in hindsight, he was super creepy and controlling and generally awful. Part of my heart still belongs to Robert Pattinson. Have you seen Robert Pattinson lately? I have since then watched a million and one shows that revolve around love triangles but by far the most Twilight-esque is the Stefan-Elena-Damon one from The Vampire Diaries.

Two brothers vying to prove their love to the same girl who, by the way, possesses all of the traits of the female lead I just described above. There's something uniquely disturbing about moving back and forth between brothers constantly. It takes the emotional manipulation of the Edward-Bella-Jacob era and turns the volume up to 100. I'm embarrassed to admit that I watched every minute of it to the very end. I simply couldn't help it.

3. Cringe-Level 1000 - HBO's Insecure

I'm fairly certain that the screenwriters for the Twilight Saga weren't aiming for hilariously awkward when they were drafting the scripts for these movies but they sure as hell nailed it. Because of these movies, I'm happy to say that my cringe-tolerance is astronomical and I often seek out shows that give me that special feeling that can only be described as "ICK". You know, your neck all but disappears into your fully shrugged shoulders, eyes squinted to the point of almost being closed but still open enough to see the mess unfold and face contorted into a grimace that displays pity for both yourself and the characters on screen. My latest binge personifies this ICK. I wouldn't necessarily characterize HBO's Insecure as "terrible TV" because its writing, soundtrack and acting are phenomenal but its main character is exceptionally socially awkward and the cringe is realll (with three Ls, that's how real it is).

4. Supernatural, Fantastical Element - Outlander

My younger sister loves TV dramas and often recommends me her latest binges. Everytime she does, my response is always the same: "Is there magic? If no, then no." I just feel like if I'm going to invest hours and hours of my life into a show, it should draw me out of my present reality. TV should feel like temporary escapism. In fact, I'd prefer my TV shows to be so unrealistic that there's no way in hell something like this could ever happen in real life. But it's great to dream. Twilight definitely played a major role in developing this sentiment. And Outlander presently makes me feel this way. The idea of being whisked back in time and having an epic romance with a hunky Scotsman is morally equivalent to me to randomly moving to a new town and striking up an unlikely romance with a century old vampire. What even are the odds?

5. Ridiculous and Incomprehensible Plot Points - Netflix's House of Flowers

There's something really exciting about things that make absolutely no sense. Like Bella getting pregnant with a demon baby even though vampires don't have blood and no blood means no eggplant. And then Jacob falling in love imprinting on her BABY?!! Netflix's House of Flowers serves me this same chaotic energy and I'm ashamed to say that I eat it right up.

The premise (SPOILER ALERT!): A rich family owns a flower shop in Mexico City. During the dad's birthday celebration, his mistress commits suicide in their shop and leaves a note, revealing that 1)she exists and 2)the dad has another daughter and a whole other business outside of the family (a drag club, to be specific) with the same name. The dad is arrested because the mistress stole a bunch of assets under his name before dying and the family's money is frozen. Broke and desperate, the eldest daughter in the family begs for the help of her ex-wife who she divorced after finding out she was transgender. Also, the youngest son in the family is secretly gay and the other sister is a sex addict who's cheating on her fiance with her father's mistress' son. The mom of the family eventually dies and not only does the dad get released from jail, he also joins a cult and gives his mansion away to the cult leader! Madness! I love it so much!

6. Gratuitous Violence with Little Payoff in the End - Game of Thrones

Breaking Dawn The Movie was disappointing and anticlimactic, the book even more so. There was all this intense buildup and hype and in the end, it missed the mark for me. I find that shows that I binge guiltily often fit this category namely Arrested Development, Modern Family and Shadowhunters but the most prominent example in my mind is Game of Thrones. I absolutely adored Game of Thrones and I was definitely in the minority in my friend group so I was often left defending myself and the other people who loved it. "No it's not just the sex, there's world-building and amazing character development and dragons!" Then, season 8 happened and that dumpster fire of a finale. It gives me heavy Breaking Dawn vibes. Honestly, I could write a book about how crappy season 8 was but the underlying theme is: All that legwork for no payoff!

7. Overall Just Really Really Really Astronomically Awful Screenwriting - Riverdale

Listen, I understand why people hate Twilight and rewatching it as an adult, I get it even more. As someone who has read the books, I can confidently say that the screenwriting is atrocious and doesn't do them justice. The movies took K-Stew and Robert Pattinson who, in their own rights, are both incredible actors and convinced the world that they were actually terrible. It feels like the script was written by adults who have no idea what a teenager is, much less how they act and how their brains work to form words with their mouths. Riverdale is one of my guilty pleasures that exemplifies this lacklustre writing.

Riverdale sucks and I'm not even going to try to defend it as a concept or as a show. The writing is God-awful, the characters are poorly conceived and unrealistic and they just say things that no other human person would ever in any circumstance say...ever! You need only look up those compilations entitled "Riverdale with No Context" on Youtube to see what I'm talking about. That being said, I kind of love it though. I know, I know but it's a show that I find immense pleasure in hate-watching. It just feels so cathartic. It's so comedically bad which is made even funnier by the fact that the writers intended for us to take it seriously but that's a physical impossibility. Don't judge me!

I didn't realize before I started writing just how much my love for Twilight has conditioned the TV that I consume and find enjoyable. I know that people have mixed feelings about the Twilight franchise but it was really impactful to me and before you clown me, yes I realize how bad they are. What can I say? I have a soft spot for trash movies and TV. They're fully aware of how bad they are and aren't trying to be anything other than what they are. It's kind of inspiring, actually.

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