How many wives are courteous to their husbands?

Some women desire to wear the pants in the family yet expect their spouses or partners to pull out all the stops when it comes to wineing and dining. They desire the life of rose petals on the bed, along with flowers and gifts, as often portrayed in Tyler Perry productions.

How many females flip the script and go out of their way to extend certain courtesies to their husbands? Holding doors open and seating at a table is considered what men do for women, but the roles can be reversed for those who desire.

I was recently reminded when I watched the Season 7 episode of Little House on the Prairie titled Second Spring. 

Nells Oleson (Richard Bull) and Harriet Oleson (Katherine MacGregor) had an unconventional marriage in which he cooked, and she ran the store and Nellie's diner.

Harriet could be overbearing and demanding at times, and their children, Nellie Oleson (Alison Arbgrim) and Willie Oleson (Jonathan Gilbert), were spoiled and unappreciative. Some Walnut Grove residents thought Nells was henpecked, but on occasion, he stood his ground and gave as good as he got.

In this episode, the Olesons were getting on each other's nerves, so he took a job as a traveling salesman. Nells was so frustrated that he almost cheated on his wife. The time apart made them realize how much they loved each other and how their unconventional roles as husband and wife worked for them.

When Nells returned to Walnut Grove, Harriet had cooked him a roast and set the table for a romantic dinner. When she pulled out his chair and seated him, it reminded me of doing the same for my husband. 

During the last five years of his life, I would seat him at the table at our daughter's home and church functions and fix his plate.

This was my way of spoiling him and saying thank you for remaining my spouse. Once, my daughter asked who was going to do all of that for him if something happened to me. We never had to find out because he passed away first in 2021.

Until I saw Harriet Olsen seating NelIs I did not know if other wives did this for their spouses. I asked the question on Facebook, and 24 hours later, not one woman said she had done this for her husband. I did get two likes on the post.

Harriet was brash and crude and at times seemed to be her husband's boss. I enjoyed watching this softer, gentler side of the character. Later, she and Nells laughed as they realized the roast was burned. They knew that his place was in the kitchen while hers was minding their two businesses.

Each couple is different. I have been told of relationships where the wife works outside the home, and the husband raises the children. Marriage should be a partnership of give and take, and not only expecting without giving in some manner. 

I spoiled my spouse in his last years and received the joy of knowing he appreciated the gestures. He did special things for me like washing the dishes and cleaning the house, when I was dealing with panic attacks, or buying me jewelry for no reason.

The point I am making with this article is that husbands and wives should love each other enough to do something special for each other when they can, including stepping out of traditional male/female roles.

If Harriet Oleson can let down her guard and pull out a chair for her husband, it should encourage other women to make a loving gesture toward their spouse. Now that I am a widow, I am thankful to have the memories of being extra kind to my late husband.