House of the Dragon

I have finally watched the new season of House of the Dragon…you could say I wasn’t necessarily….excited for more. When the writer of the world you're occupying publicly denounces your work, as a writer, that just makes you wrong in all future creation no matter what. And I already hated the show before that, George R.R. Martin’s public outrage at the current direction really cemented my feelings on the matter. But I am an entertainment journalist and this is what I do, so here we go. 

Salt and Sea, Fire and Blood

We open on Rheyna and a dragon, love that for her, as she should. God this show is so damn dark you can’t watch it in the daylight.

“I’m fucking pathetic”

Aegon Targaryen

- that’s correct Aegon good job. Keep that energy buddy. 

Bend the knee bitch. Larys gave him up to Rhey’s followers….oooooo. Obviously I don’t like how easily he talked this guard out of killing him. Dead is always better than not dead in a war and your literal opposition is right there. Could have ended this war before it started. 

I forgot how much Alicent’s face pisses me off (not you Olivia, you’re perfect), just Alicent.

Why exactly did they make Rhaenyra so stupid? I’m sorry my girl wasn’t exactly a tactical genius, but she wasn’t an idiot. Believing anything that comes out of Alicent’s mouth is bullshit. 

Internal Thoughts

Ooof Daemon…blood soaked Matt Smith is pretty hot. See this makes the show worth watching, sexy Targaryens and dragons. 

I do love watching more people join my baby Rhea so that’s very good. I really can’t wait to watch her sit upon the iron throne it will make me whole. 

I am loving how protective baby Jace feels over his mother. It’s actually super awesome. He’s great. Good son, so proud of you baby boy. 

Killing Jace in the first episode makes me violent. I am so upset right now. Literally how fucking dare you. 

Conclusion

Okay well I’m not sure what the fuck that was, but it was shot too dark, paced poorly and truly made Rhaenyra look way dumber then she is supposed to be. So we are not off to a great start. I didn't even come into this season with any expectations because the show has never been good, and its only gotten worse. But this is just bad, bad and boring and poorly executed.

Queen’s Landing

We start this episode grieving Jacerys. We are all devastated. Rhaenyra has already buried a son. Dameon really did claim those boys as his own, he is also not doing well. Here’s the thing: I love silent storytelling, I think it's inherently beautiful, so much can happen in the silence. But nothing is being said in too many of these shots. And they aren’t connected together, some of them have no time to linger, it's just really choppy and not saying anything. 

They are still trying to push this whole Alicent and Rhae were best friends do you think they still love each other - it's so baseless and stupid and infuriating because it really highlights that none of the writers have ever had or even been around female friends. I have talked about this before and I will never stop talking about it, if Rhaenyra and Alicent were actually as close as we all keep saying they were (they gave off SUPER gay vibes in their first scenes together btw), there is no universe in which Alicent doesn’t tell Rhae, “hey my dads trying to pimp me out to your dad”, it doesn’t happen. Your whole story falls apart because of an unnecessary change you made - that COULD have been really emotionally impactful - if they had been written by a human being with feelings and common sense. 

Hey so we didn’t need a sexual assault scene. That is not only necessary but they really seem to have a fetish for it and it really pisses me off. 

Otto dying was actually great. He really said, save me the humiliation of being hacked at, and then Rhea sinks the first swing into his back. And ya know what he deserved to feel it a little bit before he died. Good for you baby girl, so proud. 

And then I got to see my queen sit on her throne. My soul ascended. I truly think this show is slightly more tolerable when I’m high.