Half Time Show Shenanigans:Intro

The Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Performance was, is, and forever will be :

Prince.

This is not up for debate.

I mean you can try to fix your face to name someone else, but I’ma just stare you down until you relent or drop your gaze in shame and /or embarrassment while pretending to reach for the nachos…and while you’re crunching and the crumbs fall onto your shirt…

…I’ll still be staring at you.

Kinda like this 🤔

No other halftime show will ever compare.

Periodt.

Yes, the t at the end of the word period was meant to be there and it is also meant pronounced with perfect diction and emphasis.

Try it… periodt.

Prince was it!!!

No one else.

Nope, no ,not one

NO ONE

No -not even Bruno Mars!!!

😱

I know I guess that makes me horrible. I mean I like Bruno, but he’s not the beautiful one.

But no one is.

With all of that being said, since I literally don’t have a team in this competition, I’m only watching the Super Bowl this year for the snacks, the fellowship, and of course the halftime show.

And this year’s halftime show acts preemptively has me making this face 🤨.

Why??? I can hear somma y’all asking.

Well according to what I’ve read online the special performances are or will be:

Dr. Dre

Eminem

Snoop Dogg

Kendrick Lamar

& Mary J. Blige

And for the record, I’m only gonna watch it to see how in the entire hell, this is gonna work.

Y’all remember my blog about Janet Jackson, right? Well if not, you can read it here:

You’re Welcome.

So basically, it’s common knowledge that I believe Janet Jackson has a subpar singing voice but AT LEAST SHE COULD DANCE HER ASS OFF!!! And for all intents and purposes, she’s entertaining and puts on a good show.

Mary J. Blige can only sing with computer enhancement, and she is a notoriously horrific dancer.

Even in the “dancery” 🙄.

So, I have questions which led me to Google:“how are the acts chosen for the Super Bowl Halftime Show”?

What I found out is that the NFL creates a “short list” but it’s the host city who chooses the acts.

Inglewood California

Scans list again. Yeah, whoever chose these acts indulges in excessive amounts of opiates and they were high af when they made up the list. I say opiates because cannabis doesn’t cause you to make poor choices like that.

🤷🏻‍♀️

Here comes my other observations:

You know the FCC is gonna be all up in the grills of these performers, so obviously Dre can’t perform any of his NWA catalog. Snoop can’t walk a woman onstage wearing a leash and dog collar. Kendrick won’t be allowed to wear shackles, and Eminem will have to “watch his profanity”.

So what are we really gonna watch at halftime?

I think Mary J. Blige is only there as a home health aide for Dre in case he gets disoriented due to his recent brain aneurysm issues.

I’m not being funny about Dre at all, I’m thankful he has survived and is thriving.

My predictions:

•”Forgot about Dre” HAS to be performed.

•Pharrell will come out of the audience as a surprise guest to do “Drop It Like It’s Hot” with Snoop.

•Kendrick will be fined by the FCC for something stupid.

•This will be Mary’s last performance.🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

(From this blog to God’s ears)

Right God, you have ears, don’t let Mary be on stage long…

✌🏼💜💨 until after the Super Bowl and I’m able to discern if it was as bad at I thought.

Stay tuned.