Godzilla vs. Kong is an Absolute Blast

I’ve done it. I’m so happy. My big giant lizard son Godzilla is on the big screen again. Well, small screen thanks to Covid, but my dim lighting and fancy TV screen had to do. Enough about that though, Godzilla vs Kong is out, and I was chomping at the bit to watch it. So of course I did, and of course I had to share my thoughts.

This would originally be a spoiler free review, but halfway through a major plot development happened that I just…we need to talk and scream about the awesomeness of it.

Godzilla vs. Kong is about the two titular monsters duking it out. Godzilla’s suddenly attacking people and Kong is being used to reach the center of the earth for…some reason. There’s something about a corporation messing with Godzilla and trying to get energy using Kong to fight the giant lizard, and in a way, it makes sense. It gets the characters from point A to B, and that’s about the best of the plot I can summarize.

To put it in the most basic terms, this movie is all about giant monsters beating the hell out of each other. What more could you want? The human plot is insane. It’s wild and makes little to no sense. They rush through the explanations and justifications just to give us as much big monster action as possible. That’s not a problem, however. The movie knows that the insane kaiju action is what we’re here for. If anything, they spent too much time on the people. I don’t care about them. I care about the big monkey and the big lizard.

So, how are those big monster fights we’ve all been looking forward to? I loved them. I thought they were creative, looked super well done for the most part, and gave me all the hype I need. Are there places where the CGI doesn’t hold up? Of course there are. A majority of this movie is CGI insanity. I mean listen, there’s a scene where Godzilla whips an axe into a building, I was losing my mind. Godzilla lighting up looked amazing. Kong was acrobatic and agile. I loved seeing the choreography they came up with for the two monsters.

And now it’s time to talk about the thing that surprised me and made me stand up and start screaming excited gibberish at my roommates. This is your absolute final spoiler warning.

You guys.

They gave us Mechagodzilla.

I almost passed out, that’s how exhilarating it was. The giant robot lizard was exactly what we needed to get Kong and Godzilla on the same side. It was the right amount of crazy science to send the movie completely over the top and give us a wild action scene to close it all out. I adored seeing Mechagodzilla, and his design was also pretty inventive and updated. It was rough watching him beat up my lizard son though. Godzilla in pain is not a Godzilla I like to see.

Which does, unfortunately, bring me to my one criticism of the movie. As a Godzilla fan, it was painfully clear that Kong was given the bigger “protagonist” role. That’s fine, not my favorite thing, but it was a problem for me when they had Kong be the one to kill Mechagodzilla. That’s like having Superman kill one of Batman’s villains. Just don’t do it. It didn’t quite sit right with me. I needed my boy to have more of the action in that fight. I know he got to thoroughly beat up Kong twice before (don’t come for me Kong fans, I simply state the truth) but damn, I wanted to see him blast MechaGodzilla with that atomic breath.

Oh, and a side note: “Shut up Josh” is the best line in the movie. And another side note, I wish I could give Godzilla a kiss on his snout because he’s a cute lil guy.

Overall, Godzilla vs. Kong is a movie you go into for the most insane giant monster shenanigans you’ve ever seen, writing be damned. Just sit back and enjoy it, because that’s exactly what you’re meant to do.