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Gaston on Reddit

Would Disney fairy tales change if the characters had access to the internet? Here, Gaston consults a subreddit before proceeding with his plans.

By Deanna CassidyPublished 3 years ago 4 min read
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The face of Disney's Gaston superimposed on part of the header art for a real subreddit (link below)

GASTON: WIBTA (would I be the a-hole) if I (24m) got my love interest's (17f) father committed unless she accepted my proposal of marriage? She's the prettiest girl in my town, and the only one who doesn't fawn over me. I'm a hunter, a real alpha male, and I must pursue and obtain the best of the best. But this girl just isn't interested! I've tried telling her what she is supposed to want in life. I've tried to paint the picture of our marital bliss (hunting dogs! half a dozen sons!). I even tried surprising her with the grand romantic gesture of a surprise wedding. And nothing! All she cares about is her books and her kooky old father. I figure I can impress her with my superiority if she has to rely on me to keep dear ol' dad out of an asylum. My friends think it's a good idea but some jerk in the tavern mentioned "coercion" and "manipulation" like they were bad things. WIBTA?

CINDERELLA: YTA (you're the a-hole). YTA and you're bragging about being the A-hole. How is this post even allowed. YTA YTA YTA

ERIC: ESH (everyone sucks here). Your love interest is being really rude to not even give you a chance. But also, you aren't respecting her boundaries. Cut your losses bro.

RAPUNZEL: YTA oh my god dude leave her alone. Take a hint. And maybe get some therapy.

ALADDIN: NTA (not the a-hole). "All's fair in love and war." Sometimes you have to bend the truth in order to follow your heart.

SNOW WHITE: INFO (I need more information). Did you try True Love's First Kiss?

PHILIP: NTA True Love is worth all effort. Be persistent and you will win your prize yet!

JASMINE: YTA, and so is every prince so far in this thread. Your love interest does not owe you a chance. There is no excuse for deceit, manipulation, or coercion. And a woman is not some prize to be won!

FLORIAN: INFO. How beautiful is this "beauty?" The level of effort a woman is worth is directly proportional to how gorgeous she is. For the Fairest One of All, there is no limit to what you should do to get her.

TIANA: YTA. If you want to attract a worthwhile partner, it's on you to work on yourself. Develop your hobbies. Examine your motives. Try some mindfulness, some yoga, some therapy--anything that will give you clear perspective on yourself. If you just try to force her to be with you, you will be the a-hole.

NAVEEN: YTA. I second everything Tiana said. ETA (edited to add): I am not a "simp," I am a prince who successfully married his True Love. Dig, as the saying goes, a little deeper.

ARIEL: YTA. True love requires self-sacrifice. If you're trying to make someone else make sacrifices on your behalf, you're doing it wrong.

HANS: NAH (no a-holes here). It's only natural for her to hold out for a better prospect. But you have every right to show her you're the best prospect she will ever have.

AURORA: YTA. Try rescuing your beloved from actual danger, not fabricating a problem. Your plan is deceptive, low, and disgusting.

EUGENE: YTA. Oh my god dude I am a literal burglar and I have better morals than you hahaha!

ELSA: YTA. It's really this simple: good people try to reduce the amount of harm they cause others. A-holes pursue their own interests regardless of the harm they cause.

CHARMING: NAH. You and your love interest are both proceeding as best as you can with the information you each have at hand. If she's as pretty as you say, then you probably have stiff competition for her attention. Not all of us can just host a ball and have our pick of the beautiful, eligible young ladies who attend. So it really isn't blamable of her to hold back until she is really impressed. Meanwhile, you have every right to pursue the object you most want. Knock on every door in the kingdom to find what you're looking for. Leave no stone unturned. Demand cooperation from those who hold back. If you are indeed an alpha male, then you've got this!

MERIDA: YTA. No means no.

ADAM: YTA. She doesn't want you. If she gives the word, I will tear you to shreds with my bare hands.

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Based on u/nelsyv's post on r/WritingPrompts: "[SP] 'Take it from me: Prince Charming gives *terrible* dating advice.'"

Check out the actual sub to which this story is an homage here.

fan fiction
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About the Creator

Deanna Cassidy

(she/her) This establishment is open to wanderers, witches, harpies, heroes, merfolk, muses, barbarians, bards, gargoyles, gods, aces, and adventurers. TERFs go home.

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