Finding "Your People" Again

It took years. Perhaps you met them when you were both considerably younger. You came into and out of new chapters in your lives together. They were constantly a reflecting glass in which to see, relate and discern things about your own life. Or perhaps, like so many modern relationships, you met online. Things got hot and heavy quickly. One week in and you knew their deepest, darkest secrets. Two months down, and the whole affair was over. Fast, hard loving. No matter how you met, how you fell in love, how long it lasted, one thing is certain; you had found your people.

For me it all began in 2001. Friends had been on the air for seven years when we met, and it would be years before I realized what I had. I’ve heard love stories like this before, we all have. You knew who they were, maybe you even hung out from time to time, but never alone, never when it counted the most, and never for long or with any kind of consistency. They came and went over the course of a few years and then, without even realizing what had happened, you fell out of contact. In my case, they moved away, off of prime-time network television, only around here and there on daytime re-runs. I was off to college by then and couldn’t afford cable TV, and we were both fine. Surviving, oblivious, blissful even, in our ignorance from one another.

Then some years down the road I moved into my first apartment in a new big city. I was on my own. I had a job, I had an income, I had a TV and a variety of streaming accounts. Suddenly, there they were. After how many years, I sit down and flip on the big bright box and they were waiting for me, standing there in a fountain, under the moonlight and glow of New York, dripping wet and smiling, just begging me to come back out and say hello. To be friends again. So I did.

I decided I would start slow. I would pace myself. I knew we had some chemistry once upon a time, but it was previously all from a distance. I was cautious, dubious even. I would watch one episode a night for a week and see how things went, see if we were still “vibing.” That was my plan. But by day three my old Friends were all I could think about. I talked about them at work, I spent time with them over breakfast, we had dinner together, and spent most nights curled up on the couch or in bed, just happy to be together. Before I knew it we were a month into a wonderful, newly reignited relationship and things were going great, never better in fact. Sure we’d have an off day here or there, some weak episodes, flashback montages, that kind of thing, but overall, things were great. Things were better than I had ever known they could be.

Then as suddenly as it started, it ended. I felt it coming, I won’t lie. Things felt like they were wrapping up, sort of coming to a close for us I guess. And though I tried to put on a brave face, I can’t deny it, I cried like a baby when they finally called it a quits. For years I searched for something similar, I hoped for a reunion, I tried new things, but ultimately it was a long time before I found anything that made me feel quite the way that they had.

Now let’s be real for a second. Obviously the emotions felt when you connect to a great show are nothing like being in a real relationship, but the feeling of being close to these people isn’t crazy. In fact it’s perfectly normal. Good TV writing is meant to be relatable. It’s meant to grab you by your funny bone with one hand, and by your heart with the other, and get as close as it can to convincing you that it’s real life. These characters truly are a reflection of all of us. The good, the bad, the funny, the tragic, the ridiculous, the predictable, the human. It’s all us. It comes from us. It’s for us. This is why so many people talk about finding “their people” when they find a great show, or missing “their people” when that great show comes to an end. Therefore, I am here to help you do exactly that. I am here to help you find your people again.

As I reflect, I see that what spoke to me the most about Friends was the way their, well, friendships were portrayed. The relationships. Having good characters is paramount to a show’s success, but also making their relationships not only believable and relatable, but enviable, makes them attractive to us. For that reason I am about to share with you three very different shows that I think you will appreciate if you loved Friends for the same reasons I did, the characters, and their relationships to one another. So let’s get started!

Going in reverse order, counting down to my top recommendation if you loved Friends. In third place we find ourselves back in the Big Apple for the story of How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM). Each episode follows Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor), in flashback, on his winding road to meeting the love of his life and his kids’ mother. With an all star cast including Jason Segel, Alyson Hannigan, Neil Patrick Harris, Cobie Smulders and occasionally Chris Elliot, this light hearted comedic romp is a great next step after leaving the world of Friends behind. The characters are sweet and believable even at their most ridiculous. The acting is perhaps, at times, a step down from Friends, but never do those brief and rare moments take away from the joy of watching these five friends on the journey through the best years of their lives. If you cried at the ending of Friends, have a box of tissues with you when you close out the last season of HIMYM. The depth and detail and heart that goes into this beautifully woven story is worth every minute of the nine year, two hundred eight episode run, and with the magic of streaming services, you should cut that down to a few months with no trouble at all. This show also gets the award for the most I’ve ever wanted fictional characters from a TV show to be my real life friends (looking at you Jason Segel) and if that isn’t high praise I don’t know what is.

Moving on to our next binge worthy all star cast, in second place, we take you to Scranton, PA for the American version of the originally British show, The Office. Now, I have recommended this show to many people over the years and had a lot of them tell me that they just couldn’t do it. I don’t think of myself as particularly stubborn about finishing a show once I start it. A book, yes, but a show? Nope. It has to be worth the hours spent in front of a screen. The fact is, this show gets aaaawkward. Made to feel like a documentary (a mockumentary), continually intercut with talking head interviews, the show gives us a voyeuristic view into the work days and personal lives of a group of office workers from a mid level paper company in Pennsylvania. The brilliant ensemble cast, including John Krasinski and Rainn Wilson, is lead by Steve Carell, who plays Michael Scott, the unbelievably oblivious, albeit well intentioned boss with little to no social awareness or tact. The characters, unlike HIMYM, are mostly not the type you long to be friends with, at least not at first. In a very realistically timed manor however, you begin to see the beauty of each individual character, and over the course of the one hundred eighty eight episodes, find that these people have endeared themselves to you in ways you never would have imagined when you started the series. This show will have you laughing so hard you cry, cringing so hard you gag, and crying so hard you, well, cry hard. Do yourself a favor and stay til the end. It will be worth every awkward moment.

Last but not least, and in first place for my top recommended, binge worthy shows if you loved Friends, is the smash hit series Schitt’s Creek. Created by and starring father/son duo Dan Levy and Eugene Levy, Schitt’s Creek follows the Rose family who lose their fortune and are forced to take refuge in a rundown strip motel in a small town while they try to get back on their feet again. This show is perfectly paced, flawlessly written, socially conscious and brilliantly cast. Doing its best to subtly tackle what it means to be human and all the pain, joy, sorrow, hilarity and love that go with that, Schitt’s Creek never trips on the enormity of such a task. No, in fact it shines. The cast is all at once off-putting, endearing, ugly, wondrous, enigmatic and painfully human. Characters that you think you could never in a million years relate to in episode one become people who represent the very best parts of us all by the end of the series. A masterclass in character acting, the cast includes Catherine O’Hara, Eugene Levy, Dan Levy, Annie Murphy, Chris Elliot and many, many more. This show, like The Office, is tough to start for some people. It really puts the cringe in cringeworthy at times. But stick with it for the laughs and you’ll stay with it for the heart.

So there you have it. If you loved Friends, check out these other fantastic series. I believe you will find something to love in each one. The engaging characters, the enviable relationships and the lessons taught, as well as learned, all make for excellent entertainment, moving storylines, and evenings in front of the television well spent. I hope you enjoy, and happy bingeing!