Emos Not Dead

Start writing... Emos Not Dead

The side swept bangs, tattered jeans, and black eye makeup. Who could not remember the late 90s and 2000s. There walking into high school a two-shoe goody girl with knee length skirt, ugly plain t-shirt and no make-up. She was shy and to herself. It was 2006, having been homeschooled for her whole life -- this girl had no personal style from being trapped in an overly conservative home. She didn’t know then but soon the pop-punk, emo-style and front layered over one eye hair would capture her heart and discover who she was on inside.

* * *

Already inside her was a birth of the true fire and identity she held inside. Which started with hearing a music video of Creed in between commercials of TV shows as young preteen. Then, verged into sneaking smash mouth on nickelodeon. Danika was only allowed to listen to Hillary Duff, concluded to excitedly binging her CDs every moment she could get. Eventually, she discovered something extraordinary. She fell in love with Simple Plan. She couldn’t get it the song ‘Shut Up', out of her head. It’s like birthing into a teenager revealed something about her personality; she was not quite sure she understood yet. At 13, she knew she was about to leave to another state away from her cousin she felt understood her the most. One day, closing up on the departure to Hawaii, she was hanging out in basement with her cousin Kyle.

Kyle took another hit at the ping pong ball as Danika dashed to try smack it back to him. Inches away she missed it. ‘Bummer man!’ “You win!”. Throwing her hands up in defeat. Danika sits down on the metal chair, arms over the back end and chin rested on her forearm. She couldn’t help but think how cool Kyle was with his own band and with his love for Greenday punk music.

Kyle sat down and said, “it’s okay, you’ll get it sooner or later.”

“Can we go up to your room and listen to some your music you just made?” Danika asked.

“Yah, no problem!” Kyle said as he got up and started up the basement stairs.

Danika quickly followed up after him. Turning one last time at the basement she hung out with Kyle so many times. Nostalgia set in as she thought, ‘I’ll miss this.’ No time to waste. She had a plan and she wasn’t going to miss her shot. Exiting the basement, she turned to the living room and then up the stairs to her cousin’s room. Kyle was already digging for his burned CD. So, Danika sat down on his bed and patiently waited. There were posters of Kyle’s favorite bands all over the wall. She decided that one day, her room would look the same.

Kyle got his CD player off the shelf and sat it on the bed. Plopped in his CD and it began to play. You could hear him playing the trumpet in background. She couldn’t contain it, “man this is so cool Kyle!” This time Danika positioned onto her belly feet up crossed at the ankles and chin in her palms. “It be so cool if I could be in a band!” Danika looking somber knowing her parents would NEVER allow such an inconceivable thing.

Kyle turned to her with a sympathetic smile. “You’ll find yourself, don’t worry.” He knew how religious Danika’s parents were, but he had no other choice but to respect that. Kyle and Danika sat in silence for a short while. Surrounded by smell of men’s cologne and peering into his closet with all his cool clothes; Danika sat upright and crossed her legs in butterfly position. Kyle still sat in same position he was in for past 15 minutes.

Danika heart started to race and got anxious. This was her moment. She was finally going to ask him for the pivotal chance of her entire life. Though, she didn’t know it then -- she would know it 15 years later. Heart still pounding. She began to speak, “hey cuz’, would you buy me a goodbye gift and give it to me at the airport?” A wave of relief passed over her. She had been planning this scheme for days!

“Sure, what do you want?” replied Kyle.

“There is this awesome band called Simple Plan with a song called ‘Shut Up!’ will you get it for me?” Danika asked while twirling her fingers together in an anxious way. “But, you gotta give it to me as I leave the airport… so that my dad has no choice but to accept me receiving a parting gift.”

“Okay, I will get it for you don’t worry!” Kyle got up and hugged Danika.

* * *

Danika snapped out of her memory daze as the teacher began roll call. In front of her was Derryk and to left of her was Sharyn, she didn’t know who was to her right. It didn’t matter he was more interested in the boy in front of her who she somewhat thought was cute. He had on these black clothes and chain dangling from his pants. Some type of black shirt peaked from under his school t-shirt. She noticed some sort of black spiked jewelry hanging on his wrist. His dark skin tone matched nicely with his dark clothing.

Danika turned to her left to see the opposite style of clothes. Dangling earing hoops on Sharyn's ears and her tight jeans shown off her form. Danika wasn’t much interested in her sense of fashion; however, she was interested in her personality. Sharyn was outgoing and very loud in the class, somehow Danika felt they would become great friends.

Danika turned to Sharyn and stated “want to hang out during lunch?”

Sharyn replied. “Yah, we’re meeting in courtyard for lunch!”

Danika looked around at the class room which walls were made of giant bricks the floor was old tile and the teacher was speaking when then bell rang for lunch. Suddenly, like a bull rush everyone started to leave the classroom. Bewildered Danika got up slowly and smiled at her new friend Sharyn. She couldn’t help but notice as she walked down the stairs; Derryk holding hands with this girl also wearing black clothes and chain hanging from her belt loop. She had black eye makeup on her eyelids, black lipstick and raven black hair covering her black choker. Unsure why, Danika was attracted to this style not even knowing what this fashion style was even called.

Just then Sharyn arrived in front of a Filipino girl. “Hey, Rheanna this is Danika!” Sharyn said excitedly to her best friend.

“Hey,” Danika shyly stated. Danika was naturally shy since as far as she could remember. Whenever she met new people, she was socially awkward. But once she opens up, she is incredibly open and silly. The courtyard was huge piece of grass land surrounded by a sidewalk on all sides with a stage to the west of where she stood. Building D, two-story big square building made of giant bricks was north of her which she had just came from. To the east of where she stood was the office main building one story and to the south-east was building O another two-story giant bricked building. Directly behind her was J building which was long and lengthy and south-west was building G with two-stories as well. Honestly, the campus could mask as a college in the way it was designed. Don’t bother looking for any lockers in this school. You won’t find any. Oddly. Nope just a giant backpack you got to lug around this campus with under hot Hawaii sun burning above you.

Just then a girl who was also Filipino walked up to us. “Hello!” she smiled kindly.

Danika smirked at her new friend, “My name is Danica, but you can call me Danni.” Dani had been her nickname since as far as she can remember. People barely called her Danika growing up; it had always been Danni with two Ns. Which, reminded her of one of her favorite movie’s green gables; where she would always have to correct people spelling her name and say it’s Ann with an E! Everyone would spell Danni with one N. Drove her crazy. How hard was it for an uncle and grandpa to remember an extra letter N. Seriously?

“You can call me JoJo.” Replied the girl wearing normal jeans, no earrings; she was very plain.

“Cool, let’s go walking.” Sharyn said. It seemed she was definitely the leader of our group. The connector to every one of us. As we passed in between O and G building, we kept walking to J building to explore our new campus. It would seem as we treaded into J building that it was filled with what the world now calls ‘misfits'. There was this epic guy with green Mohawk, recognizing him from class his name was Richy, he was Asian with black ripped pants and black nail polish and chain hanging from his pants too. He didn’t have his school shirt on he had some band name on a black t-shirt.

Jojo started talking about something to do with lunch. Danika was to engrossed in her surroundings. It was like a magnetic force in her soul, drawing her; even calling her to this group of people. ‘Forget it,’ she thought. ‘My parents would never let me hang out with what they would consider freaks…’ Danika somberly looked at the group of misfits. She loved the black eye makeup. The cool styled bangs over one eye. One boy had this intriguing hair cut that was spiky in back with bangs over one eye in front. One girl had a colorful shirt with hot pink and lime green almost like splashed paint. Her pants were ripped at the knees and a belt with silver squares were holding them up. She also had this cool piece of fabric on her hand which only shown her thumb and covered half of four fingers. She had dirty blonde hair hanging over her eye too with pink tips on the bottom.

Rheanna said, “let’s get the hamburger steak.”

Danika snapped back to reality as they exited J building and headed toward the cafeteria. But, in back of her mind, something kept pulling her back to a different reality.

* * *

Danika was now 29 years old, year 2021 memories flashbacked from her pasts kept popping up. A year ago, she finally said to herself. Why did I change who I was just because I became a mom? Why am I hiding my fashion sense just cause the world decided it was out dated? It had been a decade that she hid who she really was inside. Blinded by life and then by religious idealistic standards. Free from fear of judgment she unlocked it once again. Her emo bangs held over her right eye and she finally dyed it the red she always wanted. She was wearing purple wash jeans and a tank top with Ravenclaw on the front. Listening to Simple Plan, Hawthorne heights, and Saosin amongst other pop punk emo bands. Training to become a Rock star and once again return punk emos to the world.