Embracing the Disney kid in Me

Disney Adults tend to get a bad wrap. That's not to say there aren't Disney adults who can be obnoxious, but there's obnoxious people in every group of people, and certainly in every fandom. When I find myself getting annoyed at someone for how strongly they love something, I try and remind myself that you never truly know why something means something to someone. Also, what does it matter what brings someone joy, as long as it isn't hurting anyone?

My love of Disney is generational. My parents both grew up on Disney films and show's like Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color on TV. My Dad even worked at Disneyland in it's early years when he was just a teenager himself. My Dad was in the Navy, and when we were stationed in Japan, we even visited Tokyo Disneyland a few times. I was a Disney movie on VHS in the plastic clamshell kid. I can still remember the way the plastic that held the slip cover felt and the certain way the box always smelled when you opened it. I wore out our copy of the Lion King, and lived on Disney Channel Original movies and Saturday morning cartoons.

I am privileged enough to have been able to go to Disneyland countless times, and to even have passes a few times in my life. I try, very hard, to have extra patience at the parks for even the most grumpy folks, as you never know what they're going through. It could be their only trip to the park, they could have lost someone recently and be remembering them there. Maybe they saved up a long time for the trip and hurt their arm or something. You never know peoples stories, so I try to be patient with all the folks I run into. I only wish the same patience was extended to me.

I just recently got an annual pass again, after being away for almost two years in the pandemic. I thought it would be fine, but on a single day visit recently, gifted by my Mom, I realized how much I missed the parks and how much they meant to me. I missed the excitement of riding Big Thunder Mountain at night. I missed the churros. The smell of popcorn. Big clouds of Disneyland balloons and photos in front of the castle. I missed the feeling of letting go and just having fun. Riding the teacups with my wife the other day, I watched her laugh with joy and she watched me do the same. No worries about the outside world, just laughter and childhood wonder we often let go of in times of stress. While the pain in my body never completely goes away, when I'm at the Disney parks, enjoying a ride I love...for a moment I'm distracted from my aching body and just lost in the moment. I love free falling on Guardian's of the Galaxy or racing through Radiator Springs, I love traveling through the stars on Space Mountain or becoming the 1000th happy haunt in the Haunted Mansion. Now, I can even immerse myself in the Marvel Universe with Avenger's Campus and literally pretend I'm hanging out with the characters that help me through stuff and one of my biggest fixations. Our last trip back meant meeting Wanda Maximoff and slinging webs to help save Spider-Man. I have agoraphobia, and surprisngly Disneyland is one of the few places I can leave the house for, otherwise it's Universal Studios and Target sometimes. I have many fears that keep me confined to my home and something in me finds a solace in amusement parks, despite the crowds and chaos. You'd think it would be overstimulating for an autistic person...and I won't lie, it is sometimes which means moving me to a less crowded, more quiet place. It may mean spending ten minutes calming down in a companion bathroom, fighting throwing up. It's not always like this though, and part of being autistic for me is also craving stimulation. My body craves constant movement, so being on a ride is heaving for me and my constantly buzzing body.

Disneyland, most importantly to me, is where I can be with my Dad again. I carry a bit of his spirit everywhere with me, and certain smells and sounds trigger memories from my childhood wrapped up in his big bear arms. When things are tough, I make wishes on his favorite rides. Pirates of the Caribbean and Indiana Jones. We have a secret spot where my loved ones know if you make a wish there in honor of my dad, it's bound to come true. It's helped me many time keep the magic alive.

You never know what something means to someone, or why they spend week after week enjoying the same things. There's far less judgement towards people with season passes to baseball games than there is for Disney people. They're no different, they're people enjoying something that they love and investing their extra time into it. Everyone has an escape, and for some people, it's an amusement park rooted in being something for everyone.