Dad Jokes are Hilarious

Introduction

Hello, this is Amber Forest, otherwise known as the Queen of Corn. Well, one day, I actually debated changing my name to Amber Green. Great play on the traffic light theme. Memorable name? Or would it simply go over people’s heads?

Theory

A few people laugh at my jokes, some because they can’t believe I’ve come up with them, others because they think they are so bad they are funny or both. My mother does not laugh at many of my jokes. I asked my friend, do you think I should take up stand-up comedy? Her response was, they would probably shout off. Someone told me not to give up my day job. All these responses amuse me and make me want to create even more jokes because I have concluded that jokes can be perceived as so bad that they are actually hilarious. A couple of people have summed up my jokes as ‘They are dad jokes.’ But don’t we all secretly love a bit of that? Today I will let you be the judge of whether you find them the slightest bit amusing or not ;)

Homemade Jokes (made with love… and a pinch of cheekiness)

(Please let me know which jokes are your favourite and which jokes you find the corniest!)

1. If bananas had hair, how would they style it?

In bunches

2. What is an apple’s favourite workout?

Core

3. What is the wisest plant?

The Elderflower

4. Why is the night sky rude?

It keeps giving us moonies.

5. Which dog is the best at drawing?

The Labradoodle

6. Which creature is the most paternal?

The Daddy Long Legs

7. Which creatures are most likely to support buildings?

Caterpillars

8. Why should you stop living in the past and quit worrying about the future?

Because the present is a gift to be unwrapped

9. Which bird has the worst wind at bedtime?

The Nightingale

10. What are the most exotic things you will see on a road?

A Zebra Crossing

11. What is the most common hair accessory for the sky?

A rainbow

12. If a parsnip had a job what would it be?

A hairdresser

13. What is a turkey’s favourite colour?

Turquoise

14. If the ocean is happy with us, how will we know?

It will send us seals of approval and enough gifts to tide us over.

15. Which vegetable is the most lovable?

Sweetcorn

16. If a dandelion could make a sound what would it be?

ROAR

17. Why are zebras so straightforward?

Everything is black and white with them

18. Why is the owl considered the funniest bird?

Because it is an absolute hoot!

19. Which flower’s manners are the most proper?

The Primrose

20. Which cocktail is pined for the most?

Pina Colada

21. Which cocktail are you most likely to drink in Iceland?

Blue Lagoon

22. What is the most common chat up line used on women called Valerie?

Why don’t you come on over?

23. What is a cat’s favourite colour?

Purrr-ple

24. Which sea creature was knighted for its gallantry?

The Swordfish

25. How does the sky know it has a hangover?

It can’t see through its thick haze

26. Why is my bedroom likely to erupt?

Because of the lava lamp on my desk

27. What did the patient say when the doctor couldn’t find their pulse?

Give us a tin of beans, that might help!

28. What did the kid say when their parent asked if they thought there was a magic fairy which did the washing up?

Yes, fairy liquid!

29. Who is the most pumped up comedian?

Michael Macintyre

30. If Orlando Bloom was a plant, which one would he be?

Blossom