D1E | A Parody of Visual Novels that Features Friends of Mine

(Note: Here's the Dino Lava route! And the "D" is for "Dino" by the way. Ah, don't worry, you don't have to read the Nig-san route in order to enjoy this. It's a stand-alone story. Wait, maybe you do have to read it... perhaps. Well, whatever. The Nig-san route is discontinued (for now) anyway, so you don't have to read it. Also, I picked out a new Unsplash image so you don't accidentally tap on the Nig-san route. And I just realized Azur Lane, Hitori Bocchi, YuruCamp and other animes that I like are on the image! Ah, sorry for this long note, I'll let you read the story now...)

???: Onii-san, wake UP!!

I wake up to the sound of my twin sister, Grotech. Well, make that “little sister,” because she is actually 2 years younger than me, as I am 18.

YOU: …

GROTECH: Wumpus chan-nii, you’re late for school! S-so! Go to school!

YOU: Alright. But what is a ‘chan-nii?’

GROTECH: It’s a *ƒ©∂˜˜∂ß˙˙ƒ©.

YOU: Uhm, ok. Well I’ll get going. Get out of my room first so I can change.

GROTECH: Ok. Also, mom left some bento for you on the table. So don’t forget it! I’ll be going to school now!

YOU: I know now, Grotech-chan.

GROTECH: Don’t call me that!

YOU: Tehe. I thought you liked being called cute things.

GROTECH: Not by you, Wumpus!

Grotech leaves my room and then I hear the front door slam. She must’ve left already…

YOU: Hm, so what should I do now…?

I get dressed and then look at my alarm.

9:35 AM…

I’m late, as usual. I actually thought Grotech was joking, but then again, I always wake up late. I sometimes even “forget” to turn on my alarm.

Crap. I get the bento, and decide to head out to the back door.

The reason I did it is because my childhood friend, Nig-san, might scold me for being late; and also, there is a huge possibility Grotech didn’t leave yet and is actually just waiting to beat me up.

She must’ve just slammed the door hard to make me think she left. I’ve heard about this tactic in 5 different shows. That she watched with me.

And besides, we have a garage, and my parents store soda there. So I can make a quick trip and get something to drink. Of course, taking this route is slightly longer than going to the front, but better safe than sorry.

I get my bento, and quietly go to the back door. I only lock the bottom lock, since nobody bothers to lock the top one anyway. And on top of that, if we have robbers or whatever, the cameras all around the house will catch them.

We only have the cameras because my parents are paranoid about robbers.

Our town is mostly peaceful and boring, so I’m not exactly sure why they are making a huge fuss about it.

Anyway, I already got the soda, so now I’m on my way to school. However…

???: Mew, hello.

YOU: Hi there.

A strange girl with blue hair and tips rising up greets me. She also seems slightly smaller than me.

???: I’m Ika Nakano, but you shall remember me as Ika-chan!

YOU: Ika…chan? Uhm, ok. I’m Wumpus.

IKA: Geh?! You didn’t like it?! You really are hopeless.

YOU: S-sorry. It’s just because it was so sudden.

IKA: I see. I’m on my way to school… it’s called Tosa. But I don’t exactly know my way there. Also, I’m late…

Ika looks at me with a deadpan expression.

Oh. That’s what she wants.

YOU: I’ll help you get to Tosa. I’m on my way there anyway.

IKA: Yay~!

YOU: It’s not that big a deal.

IKA: Yes it is! I’m new here. I mean, I’m not, but…

She trails off and just pulls out her phone. I can’t help but think she is using Bitcoin.

IKA: It’s Bitcoin. Now stop staring. It’s rude.

YOU: …

This strange girl and I keep walking on our way to school. For some reason, I feel like something awful is about to happen…

But I can’t help but feel I want to pat Ika’s head for some reason.

IKA: No lewd thoughts!

YOU: Of course…

She can literally read me like a book.

We finally get there, and Ika says “good-bye.”

IKA: Thank you, Wumpus-san!

YOU: Mhm. Wait, are you a first year?

IKA: Yes. And judging from your looks, you’re a second year or third year…?

YOU: Second year.

IKA: Wumpus-senpai… tehe…

YOU: Uh, no need to-

???: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I turn around and see a girl with the wish to end my life. It’s none other than my childhood friend, Nig. Or should I say…

YOU: Nig-san?

NIG-SAN: Wumpucchi, did you seriously just ditch me?! Y-you made me late!

YOU: Uhm, you made yourself late by waiting for me…

NIG-SAN: It doesn’t matter! Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t going to the front door!? Argh!!

YOU: Because I didn’t know you-

NIG-SAN: Liar!! Oh and…

IKA: Hi.

NIG-SAN: Ah, you’re the new student? I’m Nig-san, and I’m sure you know who this mischievous troublemaker is.

Mischievous troublemaker?

IKA: Yes, I am. I’m so happy I’m popular!

NIG-SAN: Popular…? Yikes. Don’t stretch it. Well, let’s get to class. Oh, you don’t know where you are going, do you? I’ll take you.

IKA: Thank you, Nig-senpai.

YOU: Nig-senpai.

Nig-san slaps me. I think I hear her mutter idiot!

As the two girls leave, I decide to make my way to class.

(Note: You know, maybe you should read the Nig-san route anyway. It would probably be nice to compare the two. In fact, these events probably would've never happened if Wumpus didn't... um. Do something. You can read the Nig-san route on my profile, of course. And no, it's not so I can get more views. I genuinely think you should compare them.)

*I actually meant to send that.