Comic Con: Part Un

Having not taken a vacation since my last trip to New York for New Year's Eve 2022, I have been desperate to do something outside of work besides sleep, read, write, watch movies, or snuggle with my cats; something that will light a fire in my soul, reinvigorate my sluggish spirit. I decided to see how much money I could save up - in tips; when I reached $500 I decided that I was going to go to Comic Con - for the first time since 2021. In the end, I managed to save up over $600. During this time, I've developed a huge crush on Tyler Posey; knowing that he would be at Motor City Comic Con really motivated me to make it happen, especially once I started watching Teen Wolf. I couldn't pass up an opportunity to meet - and flirt with - Tyler, especially since he'd be less than two hours away from me.

Usually, I go to Comic Con with my cousin Courtney; unfortunately, this year she has a lot going on in her personal life and was unable to go with me. I went through my list of friends and family, desperate for someone to go with me; if I had to go by myself, I knew that I would just not go, afraid to brave the big bad world all by myself. Zane wasn't a huge nerd like me, and didn't understand pop culture or care about celebrities, but I figured he'd go with me. After all, on our first date, I'd gone roller skating with him because it was one of his hobbies; I thought it was only fair that he do the same for me. At first, he was hesitant, but eventually - grudgingly - he agreed to go with me. We hadn't seen each other in about a month, and while our conversations had grown less frequent and unromantic, he was still someone I knew enough to be comfortable with. If he had given up on his endeavor to make me his boyfriend, that was fine, but I wanted him to go experience something that brought me joy, maybe to help him better understand me, maybe to let him see me when I wasn't bogged down with anxiety and depression.

We had to leave my place by 8:00 AM. I assumed Zane would want to stay the night so he could sleep in a little later, but I was relieved when he didn't suggest it; I have a hard time getting quality sleep with someone in my bed, too used to only sharing it with my cats. As it was, I didn't sleep the greatest the night before, even though I'd taken 10 mg of melatonin. I tossed and turned, waking up to pee or pet Romana. If I have to be up early to work or do something, my anxiety routinely wakes me up; I get afraid that my alarm will somehow get shut off, or my phone will stop charging and die in the middle of the night. Still, I was so excited to go nerd out that even four and half hours of sleep wasn't enough to ruin my day. Sinee I had begun to work my six days a week schedule, I decided to treat myself to a new outfit for Comic Con; I ended up getting a pair of purple Armani Exchange sunglasses, a black Karl Lagerfeld bomber jacket, and a pair of Armani Exchange jeans with splashes of gold on them. I paired those with my Parisian themed Lagerfeld short-sleeved button up and a pair of fancy shoes that I'd gotten from Stitch Fix.

The drive to Novi wasn't bad: traffic was light, my excitement growing with each passing mile. Zane didn't say much - whether because he was tired or because he really didn't want to be going to Comic Con, I wasn't sure. I hoped that once his coffee kicked in, he'd be more agreeable. I brought up my belief that religious schools shouldn't exist, that I think that religion should be something that parents teach their kids; I figured that since Zane was homeschooled by a fanatically religious mother and had come to hate religion that he would agree with me. Instead, he almost seemed offended, saying that no one was forcing me to go to Catholic school and that the parents were sending their kids, so what was the big deal? I just feel like religion and education shouldn't mix and that religion as a whole should be more of private, personal experience. I don't believe it's appropriate for children to be religiously indoctrinated in an educational environment. Still, I didn't let our differing opinions spoil my mood.

We got the venue about twenty-five minutes before the convention actually started, but by the time we got inside and received our wristbands, everything was open. Right away, I spotted the booth where Selma Blair would be doing autographs.

I grew up at a time where Selma Blair's career was at its peak: she had already done Cruel Intentions, making her somewhat of a commodity in Hollywood. I was a huge fan of Legally Blonde and The Sweetest Thing. When she announced her multiple sclerosis diagnosis in October of 2018, I felt awful for her; my grandpa had suffered from the disease, as did a few other family members. Hearing her try to talk around her tremors and seeing her walk with a cane absolutely gutted me. Maybe I'm weird, but I feel a special connection with the celebrities and influential people of my childhood: Selma Blair, Shannen Doherty, Sarah Michelle Gellar - who were all friends up until Shannen's tragic passing from stage 4 cancer in 2024 - just to name a few. When I saw that Selma would be attending the convention I was honestly surprised: how was she going to handle the high demands of signing and talking to fans for three whole days if she could barely walk and talk? I hoped that she was feeling better and that she was doing the convention because she wanted to meet fans, not as an emergency method of making quick cash.

There were a few people in front of us in line - even though Selma wasn't at her booth yet. I'd assumed that she would start the day doing autograph signings, but we ended up waiting in line for about thirty-five minutes before she showed up. Zane was restless, bored out of his mind; I tried placating him by reminding him that William Shatner, Jonathan Frakes, and Brent Spiner were there; I figured even as little as he cared about celebrities, as a huge fan of Star Trek, he'd at least be excited about that. I had a secret plan to thank him for going with my by getting him an autograph from Frakes or Spiner - whichever he wanted. I knew that money was tight for him and spending almost $100 on an autograph wasn't a priority for him.

When Selma showed up, I was immediately relieved to see that although she was limping slightly and being led by a service dog, she looked to be in good health. Her hair was dyed blonde - as opposed to her natural raven black hair - and she was smiling, waving at those of us in line as she approached. I was close enough to get to observe her interactions with the fans in front of me: the tremors when she spoke were gone, which made me feel so happy for her. She was very kind, chatting with each person, hugging them, and trying to make a personal connection. I had planned on bringing up that a few people in my family had MS, but I didn't want to make it all about that, so instead, when it was my turn, we exchanged greetings and as she was signing my photograph, I told her that my favorite movie of hers was The Sweetest Thing and that when it was on TV - back in 2002 or 2003 when it originally came out - I stumbled across it and became obsessed. I learned the lyrics and choreography from the penis song scene, which made her smile. "Did your family tell you stop?" she asked, laughing.

"No, they loved it. They'd ask me to perform it when we all got together," I replied, beaming with pride.

"I found it on streaming and that scene is cut! It makes me so sad! It's not even that dirty, it's hilarious!" Selma lamented, pausing in her signing to engage with me fully.

"I know! It's only available on the unrated version of the DVD. I've recommended that movie to so many people and mentioned the penis song scene, but then they told me they watched it and it wasn't in there."

"It sucks!"

We took a quick selfie and then Selma pulled me into a tender embrace before she thanked me and then started singing part of the penis song; I sang with her, dancing a little. Her eyes lit up, making my heart swell. I wanted to stay there and talk to her all day, to hear stories about the filming of the movie, her friendship with Sarah Michelle Gellar and Shannen Doherty, and even just details about her daily life.

As I exited Selma Blair's line - feeling giddy - I spotted the booth where Billie Lourd - daughter of Carrie Fisher - was signing autographs. Billie's line had one person it; I decided to seize my opportunity to get her while her booth was relatively empty.

Carrie Fisher was and will forever by my idol. I loved the Star Wars movies as a kid, and Princess Leia was my favorite character: she was sassy, competent, knew how to take care of herself, and above all, despite her occasional gruff exterior, she had a huge heart. As much as I loved Leia, I felt a strong connection with Carrie Fisher even more. Maybe it was because we are both Libras or mentally ill, but as I got older and discovered her books and one woman show, Wishful Drinking, I came to admire her ability to find humor in situations that could only be described as horrible and painful. Back in 2015 I went to a Comic Con in Indiana to meet Jenna Coleman - she was still on Doctor Who at the time. Carrie Fisher was attending as well, but I only had enough money to get one autograph and photo: I was still big into Doctor Who then and was a huge fan of Jenna's character, Clara, so I decided to get her autograph and get a picture with her. After the rush of meeting Jenna briefly for the autograph signing, I decidedto risk the overdraft fee and get Carrie's autograph, but the woman selling tickets told me that Carrie's line was so long that there was no way I would ever get to her before the con was over. I gratiously admitted defeat, peeking past the sea of heads to see my idol, seated at the booth, signing autographs. I figured she'd do plenty more conventions and that I would just save up and get her next time. Unfortunately, Carrie Fisher passed away the following December; to this day, my biggest regret in life is not pre-ordering the autograph and photo tickets for her at that convention. Now, it's too late, and I'll never get to tell her how much I loved her and how much she inspired me to find the humor in everything and survive at all costs.

While I had enjoyed Billie's performances in the newer Star Wars trilogy as well as in her various projects with Ryan Murphy, she did not resonate with me in the same way that Carrie had; still, I figured that meeting Billie and telling her everything I'd wanted to tell Carrie would be the next best thing. As I got in line, I began to second guess myself; what if she didn't want to talk about her mom? What if it brought up the pain of losing her? What if she didn't want to hear about her mom from strangers all the time, but instead wished to be recognized on her own merit? My fears were allayed, however, when I overheard the guy in front of me telling Billie a story about a convention interaction with Carrie and saying that her grandmother - the legendary Debbie Reynolds - had taught Carrie how to be a star and conduct herself so. When it was my turn, I stepped up and we exchanged pleasantries before she began to sign my photo. "Your mom is my idol," I blurted, knowing she probably heard that all the time.

"Mine too!" she replied, looking up and making eye contact with me.

"She was so amazing. I absolutely love her!"

"My mom was hot," she joked, cracking a smile.

"She was! I was at a convention she was attending once, but when I went to get tickets to get her autograph, the lady told me that she was sold out and not to bother."

Billie gasped. "She would have hated that!"

"It was in 2015, so...."

"Oh...."

I watched as pain flickered across Billie's face and I instantly felt bad. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up..."

"No," she shrugged, "it's okay."

"My biggest regret in life is not getting to meet her that day."

"Well, I'm half her, and you're meeting me...I'm not as awesome as she was..."

"No, you are! You're awesome, too!"

"Well, thank you." Billie smiled again and leaned across the top of the booth so that we could take our selfie together. I thanked her profusely and when she told me it was nice to meet me, I said it back, feeling like I was floating on air.

TO BE CONTINUED.....