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Bullshit Man Is the Hero We All Need

Not all heroes wear capes.

By Hannah AmieePublished 6 years ago 3 min read
Photo by Esteban Lopez on Unsplash

I was rewatching some old episodes of An Idiot Abroad a while back, which I absolutely love (I know it is old news but that doesn't make it any less hilarious). During this binge, I came across something that I hadn't paid great attention to the first time around.

There is a part where Karl Pilkington is explaining, after meeting a magnetic man, that if he could be a superhero he would be Bullshit Man. He would fly into your meeting and shout "Bullshit. You're talking bullshit." So that everyone would be aware that the person in question is lying. The theory is that eventually, everyone would stop talking shit.

I know the point of this idea was primarily to get a laugh but the more I have thought about it the more I realize how genius it is.

Bullshit Man may not be the hero we all want but he is certainly the hero that we all need. I know he wouldn't be as cool or exciting as conventional superheroes but how many of us really have comic book villains that we need to defeat on a daily basis anyway? Bullshit Man is the perfect hero for the real, modern world.

Just imagine it.

You are at a job interview and your prospective employer is desperately trying to sell you the position. bragging about all the benefits of working for them. Then suddenly, whoooosh. In glides a plain looking bloke donning the superman stance and declares "Bullshit! You are talking bullshit!" And then in the same breath he is gone and you have been saved.

Or

You are about to hand over your hard earned cash (earned from a good job, thanks to Bullshit Man saving your ass back there) to a salesman for an absolutely top-of-the-range must-have item that you couldn't possibly live without. Whoooosh. "Bullshit."

Or

"I swear I didn't cheat on you. It's all in your head. I love you." Whoooosh. "Bullshit."

Or

You are out drinking with your friends (celebrating the new job, maybe). You are a couple of pubs deep so things are starting to seem a little fuzzy and due to the fuzz and the fun you are having, you have forgotten whose round it is. You ask your friend and they respond "I think it's yours mate, I got the last one." Before you get a chance to stumble to the bar. Whoooosh. "Bullshit."

Or

You are at the bar ordering a drink when someone to your left starts slurring in your direction trying to get your attention. You are greeted with some cocky profanity about how the person in question would rock your world if you would only let them. Whoooosh. "Bullshit."

Or

Karen from HR has a blind date tonight and decided to get a spray tan for the first time ever. She struts over looking like Ross from Friends when he counted with Mississippi's and she asks you how she looks. "Gorgeous, absolutely beautiful." Whoooosh. "Bullshit!" (You should have known better, shame on you!)

Or

You are at the altar on your wedding day looking and feeling like a queen. Your nearly-husband (or wife) is about to answer the question. "Do you take this woman...blah blah blah." He responds "I do." Just as you start to glow with happiness. Whoooosh. "Bullshit." (Ok, maybe not this one. I am getting a little carried away).

I could think of countless scenarios in which the world would benefit from the existence of Bullshit Man (and, granted, some where it would not). As a society, we talk a lot of shit. Bullshit man would thrive under these conditions.

Remember, not all heroes wear capes.

comedy

About the Creator

Hannah Amiee

Uk based writer and undergraduate. Attempting to string words together. Convincing people that I know what I’m doing.

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    Hannah AmieeWritten by Hannah Amiee

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